WCW Spring Stampede 2000
We get an opening video package which starts with Russo's hatred for Flair, then a recap of Bischoff and Hogan's issues. Then we cut to Eric and Russo in the back, and apparently Hogan's checked himself out of the hospital, much to Eric's confusion. Kidman says they just need to fire up the hummer and finish what they started.
Another video package set to music, highlighting everything that went down in the last week or so, then to the arena for the opening pyro, live from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden are on commentary, so I guess Mark recovered from his attack by Tank. They run down the card for tonight, going over the tournaments and the Millionaires Club's chances. They also tell us that Russo and Eric have made it clear to the referees that they don't want them to jump the gun and throw matches out immediately, so the DQ rule will be a more relaxed. Well at least they explained it. Then we get to our first match of the night.
The Mamalukes are out and do their entrance, then Schiavone sends us to Mean Gene in the back, who's with Team Package. Gene asks why Ric is in his street clothes, and he responds saying Russo's made it clear that it's a street fight, it's survival, says they're ready to go and woos a bunch of times. Commentary confirm Hogan checking out of the hospital as Luger makes his entrance. We're about to get started but then Russo's music hits and out he comes. He asks what happened to the even playing field, calling out to Slick Ric and "very small package". He says it's not even with them as veterans and rookies in the Mamalukes, then sends out "the boys" to even it up.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: The Mamalukes (Big Vito & Johnny the Bull) (w/ Disco Inferno) vs Team Package (The Total Package & Ric Flair) (w/ Elizabeth) vs The Harris Brothers
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Alright I'm actually going to give some credit here, seeing as the Harris Brothers were the champions before the reboot, so despite the stupidity of a last minute change, at least it makes some sense.
No bell is rung to start even though the referee is clearly calling for it, but immediately the New Blood go after Luger and Ric, Ric beaten down easily and then soon Luger. Tornado rules I guess. Luger and Ric manage to fight out finally and clear the ring. Ric with chops on Johnny in the corner, Luger beaten on the outside. Ric with a back body drop on Johnny and a figure 4 and... Ric just lets go for no reason. Vito takes him out with a side kick as he gets back up.
Oh I guess it's not tornado rules because the New Blood have taken their place on the apron, Vito and Ric the legal men. Ric sent off the ropes into a back elbow. Luger comes in now and nails Vito with rights... and the referee gets him back on the apron, while the Harris Brothers send Ric off the ropes into a double boot, cover and a near fall, then another and another near fall. Ric whipped into the corner then nailed with a clothesline. One Harris tags in the other and nails rights and boots in the corner, Ric whipped into the opposite corner but Ric nails a back elbow. Ric up top but Harris tosses him off.
Other Harris tagged in but misses an elbow, and another. The referee goes to deal with Vito while Ric tags in Luger, so he gets sent back to the apron while the New Blood all start to gang up on Ric. Disco sends Luger into the ring post as he's knocked to the floor, and Liz drops Disco off camera. Johnny and a Harris double teaming Ric in the corner, and Disco is led to the back by... I assume they're security but they're dressed in regular clothing so who knows. Back to the ring, New Blood starts fighting amongst themselves, and Flair tags Luger in in the chaos.
Luger clears the ring with a series of forearms, and Ric comes back in to help. Vito up top, he takes forever to move, only to get a gut shot by Luger then tossed out. Johnny now with a club to the back and kicks to the midsection. Luger reverses a whip into the corner but Johnny leaps up top and nails a springboard clothesline. Johnny with the cover and a kick out.
Luger reverses a whip off the ropes and sends Johnny into Vito and picks him up for the Torture Rack to give Team Package the win in 6:15. That was just a confusing mess.
Not much time for celebrating as we go back to Mean Gene who's with Mike Awesome, and we learn he'll be taking Sid's spot in the US Title tournament tonight, taking on Ernest Miller in the first round. Mike says they say cats got nine lives, and that it's good because he's gonna take those lives and beat the hell out of each of them. He also brings up how they say Cat is a master of several forms of martial arts, and in comes Bam Bam, calling Mike a jabroni. Mike gets mad, saying he's trying to conduct business and tells Bam Bam to get the hell off his set. He gets in Mike's face and Mike backs off, Bam Bam walks away and Mike attacks from behind. Rights and lefts and kicks as Bam Bam lay there, then walks away.
Now we have... oh god I didn't realize THIS match was on this show. We have Jimmy Hart against radio personality Mancow up next, which apparently started because Mancow said Hogan can do better than Hart during a radio show appearance, Jimmy attacked and I guess injured the guy's eye, so he made the challenge.
Jimmy Hart (w/ Emory Hale) vs Mancow (w/ Al Roker Jr., Turd the Bartender & Freak)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I had to look up who these people were, because I didn't realize any of the guys accompanying Jimmy and Mancow to the ring. The Wikipedia page didn't even have Emory listed on there for whatever reason. Jimmy gets a mic and says when this match is over, he's still gonna be the greatest manager in the world, and Mancow's just gonna be a Howard Stern wannabe. Crowd are fully behind Mancow because he's from Chicago. His theme song is terrible, must be straight from his radio show. He's out with several ladies and his entourage... I guess. Mancow with a mic now and calls Jimmy a piece of shit, and it's not even bleeped out. He thanks Bischoff for giving him this chance to avenge his pride in Chicago for a cheap pop. He says he loves this city, and says the son of a bitch Hart "pearl harbored" him in his own studio, his eye was injured, and says this match is for Chicago. Eye for an eye. Jummy turns his back to talk to Emory and Mancow attacks to get started.
Yeah I'm not covering this. It's all rolling around and throwing punches, a distraction by Emory, low blow by Jimmy, an attempt at a clothesline. This is a sad attempt at a fake fight. Emory does press slam Madcow to the outside on his entourage, that's the most exciting this match gets. Mancow gets handed a chair and he nails Jimmy in the back to get the win in 2:50.
aMancow celebrates but gets interrupted by Kidman and he makes his way out. Kidman lays in to Hart, talks some trash then leaves.
To the back, Russo is tearing into Mamalukes and Harris Brothers, how they blew their opportunity, and wouldn't get many more if they kept it up and tells them to leave before hitting a trash bin with his bat.
Back to the arena for an actual match now.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: The Wall vs Scott Steiner
Lock up to start and Steiner powers Wall into the corner before laying in with boots and rights, dropping him to the mat. Steiner tries to whip him, but Wall pulls back and knees him in the gut, laying in with clubs to the back. Steiner face first in the turnbuckle and Wall with more rights and boots, then choking Steiner. Wall up for a 10 punch but Steiner gets a low blow in before he hits his spinning belly to belly slam.
Boot to the head by Steiner, club to the back, then tries for a German but Wall elbows out and gets a low blow in then a big boot. Off the ropes with a leg drop, hooks the leg and a kick out. Snapmare, Wall grabs Steiner by the throat and pulls him up off the mat, slamming him down. Steiner manages to drop Wall throat first onto the top rope, then they roll to the outside. Wall reverses a whip into the guard rail and lays in with rights before he pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up. Steiner cuts him off and bounces his head off the table. Steiner tries to suplex but Wall catches him, trying for a chokeslam only for Steiner to rake the eyes. Steiner pulls the referee in front of a blinded Wall, who gets chokeslammed through the table. Another referee runs down and... calls for the bell. Steiner wins by DQ in 3:54.
Wall gets back in then... climbs back out chasing the other referee. Steiner poses in the corner as his music plays. Referees check on the one laid out as Steiner leaves and poses some more in the aisle.
We go to the back where Gene is with the Cat. Cat for some reason is under the impression James Brown would be there. Gene tries to tell him Mike Awesome is his opponent, but Cat doesn't care, saying Mike can't dance. He calls WCW a redneck company and that it's just like them to get a redneck to do their dirty work. He starts talking about Gene but gets attacked by Bam Bam from behind who lays in with rights and legs, lays him out.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Mike Awesome vs Bam Bam Bigelow(?) vs Ernest "the Cat" Miller
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get a replay from Nitro when Mike took out Nash. Bam Bam rushes down mid entrance and the ref just nonchalantly calls for the bell to start this.
Mike sent into the ring post, then whipped into the guard rail. Loud ECW chant as they get into the ring. Mike reverses a whip and gets a big boot up way too early, sending Bam Bam reeling and sent to the outside with a clothesline, then Mike dives over the ropes onto Bigelow. Damn that a nice and clean.
Mike whipped into the guard rail again, but Bigelow is launched over to the floor. Mike backs up and dives over the guard rail into Bigelow again. I forgot how he could fly like this. Back in the ring, Bam Bam dropped with a clothesline before Mike goes up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a near fall. Back body drop attempt by Mike but Bigelow turns midair and lands on top, cover and a kick out.
Scoop slam by Bigelow before he goes up top and nails a flying headbutt. Cat slides in as Bigelow calls for Greetings from Asbury Park and nails a standing side kick, sending Bigelow out to the floor. Cat gets a mic and says he came here to be a winner, and he just beat every ass in the ring. He tells the fans to shut up while he puts his red shoes on so he can dance for them. Cat's music hits and he starts dancing. Meanwhile Mike finally comes to and nails a running clothesline. Mike goes up top and hits the frog splash to win in 4 minutes. What?
Mike screams into the camera that he's the best as he leaves the ring and we go to replays.
To the back, we see Russo telling Eric he's getting a headache just watching Eric, telling him to relax, that it's under control. Eric is annoyed with Kidman who's busy with Torrie, who reminds him he has other business to take care of tonight. Kidman insists he scared off Hogan by attacking Jimmy, and Eric's having none of it.
Cut to Gene who's with Douglas and Bagwell, who're facing Harlem Heat 2000, to see who faces Team Package in the finals. Bagwell says Harlem Heat is just a roadblock for the New Blood, and it's a new day at WCW, a new time, and it's all about the New Blood. Douglas calls out Ric, saying Space Mountain is officially closed as of tonight. He says that limo riding, jet flying, son of a gun bullshit is over, good riddance. He says they are they future, the New Blood, and their time is now before they head to the ring.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Harlem Heat 2000 (Stever Ray & Big T) (w/ Cash & J. Biggs) vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell
Shane sent off the ropes by Ray into a scoop slam. Ray tries for an elbow but Shane rolls out of the way. Arm wringer and rams into the shoulder before Buff is tagged in. Ray sent off the ropes, kick to the midsection, Buff off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker. Rights by Buff, Ray reverses a whip off the ropes and is tagged out in the process, T catches Buff with a spinebuster and Ray with a leg drop off the ropes. Buff whipped into the corner and T follows but drops him with an elbow, then a corner splash for a cover and a near fall.
Buff with the hot tag and Ray tags in, Shane lays in rights on both, clotheslines, then a noggin knocker. Shane goes off the ropes but gets nailed by a couple of big boots. Cash sends Buff face first into the ring post outside. The ref tries to get Ray back on the apron and Shane nails T with a low blow, then nails Ray with the Pittsburgh Plunge, hooks the leg and gets the win in 2:42.
Harlem Heat argue in the ring while Shane and Buff make thei exit, then they make their exit.
To the back, Gene is with Booker, who faces Sting up next. He says if anyone's fought for an opportunity it's him, and says he might be on the same page with New Blood when it comes to opportunity, but that's it. He talks about how Eric got on him for what Booker did on Monday, and how the two of them have never seen eye to eye, but tonight he's got business with Sting, and he leaves.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Booker vs Sting
We get a stare down and some shoving to start this out, then a lock up. Booker with a side headlock, sent off the ropes and hits a shoulder block, then off the ropes into a hip toss from Sting. Another lock up but Sting nails a knee to the ribs and clubs to the back. Rights as her sends Sting off the ropes, ducks a couple clotheslines and nails a scoop slam. Running clothesline then sends Booker over the ropes to the outside.
Kick to the chest by Booker before Sting whips him into... I think it's the timekeeper's area, but more importantly into the timekeeper and cameraman. Booker face first off the announce table, Sting backs up and charges but gets launched up and dropped onto the table. Back in the ring, Sting sent off the ropes into a back elbow, Booker covers for a 2 count, then a rear chinlock.
Sting fights back up, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline but Booker catches him with a knee to the ribs, club to the back, cover and a kick out. Snapmare by Booker then a knee drop, hooks the leg for another 2 count and another chinlock. Sting fights up and out again, reverses a whip off the ropes but Booker pulls him back for a knee to the midsection and nails the scissors kick, hooks the leg but Sting kicks out.
Sting sent off the ropes into a flapjack and then a Spinaroonie, goes for the Harlem Side Kick but Sting ducks and nails a DDT, cover but Booker gets the shoulder up. Sting with the Stinger Splash, and goes for another but Booker flies out of the corner with a side kick to the ribs. Sting sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a crossbody, cover and a near fall. Sting goes for a suplex but Booker slips out, kick to the gut and goes for a suplex of his own, but Sting nails the Scorpion Deathdrop to get the win in 6:35. See why can't these matches be this simple? That was good.
Sting poses and goes to leave but Booker goes after him they stare each other down and asks Sting to rejoin him in the ring. Booker puts his fist out and Sting bumps it before he leaves and his music hits, then we go to replays.
To the back, Gene is with Kidman, Torrie and Eric, who's looking around nervously for Hogan. Eric says the idea of Hogan being there tonight is just a rumor, and isn't gonna let a stupid rumor rain on his parade. He says Hogan might be a glory hound, but he isn't dumb enough to step into the lion's den. Kidman tells him not to sweat the small stuff, because even if Hogan does show up, he'll be wheeling himself in a wheelchair because of what they did to him. He says if "brother man" shows up, he'll send him back to the emergency room sucking air through a tube.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Vampiro vs Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson)
Kidman charges at Vampiro only to hit the corner instead, headbutts in the corner and rights and chops. Kidman whipped to the opposite and hit with a clothesline, then the other corner into an overhead belly to belly. Vampiro up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a 2 count. Kidman sent off the ropes, slip through the legs and catches Vamp with the hurricanrana followed by a dropkick. In the corner, 10 count by Kidman, but Vamp throws him across the ring with a powerbomb.
Back suplex by Vamp, then goes for a powerbomb but Kidman nails a facebuster instead. Kidman with a series of rights before sending Vamp face first in the corner. Kicks to the midsection and a scoop slam and a slingshot legdrop from the apron, cover and a 2 count. Vamp now with kicks to the midsection in the corner, Kidman sent off the ropes but catches Vamp with a kick to the midsection, then clubs to the back. Sidewalk slam, hooks the leg and a near fall for Kidman.
Choke with the boot in the corner by Kidman, then tries a suplex but Vamp delivers one of his own, then a Uranagi, hooks the leg for a near fall. Another powerbomb attempt and another facebuster by Kidman, cover and a kick out. Vamp tossed to the outside and Kidman follows, Vamp knee first into the steps and back to the ring. Vamp with a spinning front kick, cover and a 2 count. Vamp takes Kidman down with an armbar, but Kidman fights up with a DDT, cover and a 2 count.
We see a Dodge Charger arriving and out comes Hogan, who wastes no time going out to the arena. his rips and shoulder taped up. Vamp takes advantage and nails Kidman from behind, who then nails a low blow. Hogan gets his hands on Kidman and throws Kidman over the ropes to the floor. Rights by Hogan on the outside, Kidman face first off the steps then the ring post. Hogan picks up the ring steps and throws em at Kidman but he moves out of the way. Hogan sets up the steps in front of the announce table and bounces Kidman off it with a two-handed chokeslam. Hogan sends Kidman through the table with a scoop slam. Kidman can't defend himself as Hogan tosses him back in the ring, Vamp pulls Kidman to the middle and hooks the leg to win in 8:30. Wow that match was longer than I thought. Not very exciting either, and the Hogan stuff was just dragged out.
Hogan takes Hudson's headset, but then gets handed a proper mic and says he hopes Eric is watching, because he's coming for his ass right now. Hogan heads to the back and we see Bischoff in the back praying, then makes his way out of the room. Russo tells him to stay seeing as he'll be a sitting duck out there, then Russo says he'll take care of it and leaves, much to Eric's dismay. We see Hogan come to the back looking for Bischoff and makes a mess. No one seems to know where Bischoff is as Hogan keeps screaming, opening doors. He kicks in the door to Eric's office and Eric keeps him at bay with a chair. Hogan gets his hands on Bischoff, and Russo rushes in with the police, who all pull their guns on Hogan and gets him off Eric.
Back to the arena and... Oh back to Hogan who's been cuffed. Hogan and Eric are screaming at each other as the cops take him away, while Terry Taylor and Funk walk up. Terry tells him Norman's in catering trying to avoid fighting Funk.
WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk vs "Screamin" Norman Smiley
Everyone points Funk toward Smiley, who's in the men's bathroom, screaming as Funk calls out to him. Funk kicks in the stall door and sends Norman into the door, then the wall. Trash can off the head. Out into catering, Punk grabs an extinguisher from the wall and sprays Norman. Scoop slam onto a table and tips it over. Norman face first off of the table, then gets a ton of pop cans dumped on him. Norman slid through coffee equipment and the order window, Funk follows but gets sprayed by a hose, then hit in the head with a trash can. Fun whipped into a food cart, then a trash can to the back of the head. Norman slams the cart down on him, then a cookie sheet to the head. Funk dumped into a trash can and knocked over, kick to the head. Pop can bashed into Funk's head, then Funk takes a laptop nearby and bashes Norman in the head with it, then again, and again, covers for a near fall.
Norman face first into an equipment case, but he fights back then climbs a ladder leaned against a wall, then hangs onto dear life on the plumbing above as Funk pulls the ladder out from under him. Funk pulls a table over under Norman and uses a chair to take him down, sending him through the table. Norman into a door and Funk throws a chair at him. Norman with a chair to the ribs, then one to the head, then the back.They make their way into the arena and more chair shots by Norman, Funk face first off an equipment case. Chair to the ribs then head again of Funk. Another to the head as they stumble to the ring then another and another. Funk is still standing as they go into the ring.
Chair to the back of the head before Norman wiggles a bit, then a chair to the back. Norman lays the chair on the mat and sends Funk's face into it before he does his Big Wiggle, only for Funk to nail him in the head with a chair, then throws it into his face sending him out of the ring. Funk pulls a ladder out from under the ring and wedges it between the ropes and... Oh Dustin Rhodes is here. Another chair shot to the head on Funk, then a piledriver onto the chair. Dustin to the second rope with the chair but Funk gets the boot up, Dustin falls back first on the ladder. Ladder slammed into Norman sending him to the outside, then Funk throws it down on him. Funk goes out now and makes the cover to win the title in 8:07. Christ what a mess.
We cut to the back where Russo is on Booker about his fist bump with Sting, calling him a girl. Russo insists he's the nice guy as Booker gets annoyed and tells him to stop pissing off Eric. He says he'll keep this potato crap between them, whatever the hell that means, if Booker does him a favor. They head off somewhere.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Mike Awesome vs Scott Steiner
Lock up briefly to start but Steiner immediately takes him to the mat with elbows to the side of the head. Mike sent off the ropes into a clothesline and an elbow drop. Mike tossed out of the ring and Steiner does some pushups. Mike gets a knee to the midsection as he climbs to the apron, Steiner off the opposite ropes and Mike nails a slingshot shoulder block then a splash off the ropes, cover and a near fall.
Mike to the top with a flying clothesline, another cover and a 2 count. Steiner face first off the turnbuckle but then nails a low blow, before his spinning belly to belly slam. Mike sent into the corner for kicks to the midsection, then rights by Steiner. Mike whipped into the opposite corner but leaps to the top rope and nails a back elbow, cover and a 2 count. Leap high in the air for a leg drop, cover and another 2 count. Fans are getting all excited for something off screen and commentary have no idea what it is as Mike goes up top and... Oh it's Nash running down with a crutch, breaking the head over Mike's back and sending him crashing to the mat. Steiner applies the Recliner to win in 3:16.
Steiner poses in the corner as Nash leaves, then we go to the back where Russo is going at Dustin, pissed that he let Funk win the Hardcore Title, and Booker is by his side. Russo fires him and sends him packing, saying he's nothing, and only ever was something when he was Goldust, and takes credit for its success. Russo leaves as Booker tries to calm Dustin down.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Vampiro vs Sting
Sting rushes the ring and gets nailed with a spinning heel kick right away to start this one. Boots and rights by Vamp into the corner, into the other corner with more right and a spinning side kick tot he chest. More rights and chops but Sting braces for it, backs out of the corner. Sting now with rights and kicks into and down in the corner. Vamp tossed to the outside and Sting follows, sends Vamp face first into a chair. Chair across the back of Vamp then back in the ring. Scoop slam by Sting before he goes up top and nails a splash, cover and a near fall.
Vamp tossed back out and sends him into the guard rail. Sting goes for a splash but hits the guard rail, then gets an ax kick to the back. Vamp sets up a chair and sends Sting face first into it, then a standing side kick. Back in the ring, Vamp goes up top but Sting rolls toward the corner, so Vamp hops down. Sting sent off the ropes into a leaping shoulder block, then a leg drop, a cover and a 2 count.
Vamp with a back body drop, another cover and a near fall. Kick to the chest then another by Vamp before sending Sting face first in the corner, followed by a couple of chop and a suplex, hooks the leg for a 2 count. Scoop slam by Vamp in the corner before he goes up... well I think he was going for a dropkick and Sting was supposed to catch his legs as he came down, but Sting just ends up falling backwards. Sting nails the Scorpion Deathdrop, then applies the Scorpion Deathlock to get the win in 5:59. Another match without the stupid BS, I like it.
Sting heads to the back as we go to replays, then to Gene who's standing by with DDP and Kimberly. DDP says there's only one thing he wants more than to become a 3x (3x, 3x) WCW WHC, ad that's to kick the rat bastard Jeff Jarrett's ass from one side of Chi-Town to the other. He says before the night is over, Kimberly's gonna get her shot at Jarrett.
Six-Way for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Shannon Moore (w/ Shane Helms) vs Chris Candido vs The Artist (w/ Paisley) vs Juventud Guerrera vs Lash Leroux vs Crowbar (w/ Daffney & David Flair)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Shannon and Shane are out first and Shannon gets a mic, saying that only 2 of 3 Count could make it tonight, but they're better than anything else, because everybody goes down for the three count. Everyone else in this match wastes no time rushing to the ring without any entrances and the bell is rung.
Chaos to start until the ring is cleared of all but Candido and Shannon, scoop slam by Candido and a cover but Crowbar pulls him off. Candido sent off the ropes by Crowbar, goes for a suplex but Crowbar pushes him off, off the ropes and Candido ducks a clothesline and goes for a DDT but Crowbar hits a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge, but Lash breaks it up. Slingshot somersault legdrop by Crowbar on Candido, cover and Leroux breaks it up again. Lash drops him with a clothesline after Crowbar... flops to the mat twice for some reason, cover and a 2 count.
Lash picks Crowbar up on his shoulders and slams him on his back, hooks the leg for a 2 count. Juvie in now with chops, Lash with rights and picks Juvie up on his shoulders for that slam but Juvie slips out, while Crowbar goes up top. Some back and forth, Juvie hits the Juvie Driver on Lash but Artist kicks him in the head before he can go for the pin. Juvie sent off the ropes by Artist but catches him with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Superkick by the Artist, while Candido goes to suplex Lash on the outside only to be reversed. Crowbar tosses Artist out, Daffney goes up top and goes for Juvie but lands on Crowbar's shoulders, and nails him with a hurricanrana because... I guess she's crazy. She screams at Juvie and sends him back, then he goes for the Juvie Driver but Crowbar pulls her off him to the apron. Another scream and Juvie dropkicks her into the arms of Crowbar, then Lash lands on them with a slingshot crossbody, then Artist with a springboard splash onto them, then Juvie up top and takes them out, then Shannon back body dropped by Helms onto Lash.
David Flair comes in now and sends Helms out. Candido up top but Artist crotches him and goes up, but Candido fights out. Candido pushes him off and misses a diving headbutt. Artist with a torture rack drop. Artist goes to the second rope as Paisley slides in a chair, and out of nowhere Sunny... er I guess Tammy Sytch hops onto the apron and grabs Artist by the hair, yanking him to the mat the back of his head hitting the chair. Candido makes the cover and wins the title in 5:13.
Tammy joins Chris in the ring to celebrate while Paisley gets mad at the Artist. Then her and Tammy get into it before being pulled apart by Shannon Moore and Charles Robinson, before getting testicular clawed, then more fighting. Candido pulls off Tammy and they make their exit as Paisley stands tall.
Commentary hype up their next PPV, Slamboree, 3 weeks away, then go to the back, where Gene is standing by with Jarrett, the former asking for his thoughts on what DDP said earlier in the night. Jeff tells him not to be a wise ass, threatening to slap his liver spots right in two. Then he reiterates that he's the chosen one, with Russo and Bischoff behind him, the New Blood on his side, and he'll be the new World Champion when all is said and done. He calls Gene an old, Geritol slap ass and tells him to choke on that before he heads off.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: Team Package (w/ Elizabeth) vs Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell (w/ Vince Russo)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Russo decides to join the party, sporting a Mets jersey and wielding his trademark(?) baseball bat, and decides to join commentary. Oh joy, as if we didn't have enough with Madden.
Luger and Bagwell start the match, Bagwell trying to get a handshake, and I think trying to tell him Russo won't get involved, he does a swinging motion like he's holding a baseball bat. Luger takes his hand as if to shake but lays in with boots to the midsection instead, whipping Buff in to the corner and follows, but Buff gets the boots up and nails a clothesline. Scoop slam and some strutting by Buff with his back turned to Luger, who's already back on his feet, Shane's trying to tell his partner that but it's too late. Lex flexes and mocks Buff's strut before another boot to the midsection, Buff sent off the ropes into a clothesline and a scoop slam.
Back up, Buff rakes the eyes and tags in Douglas, rights in the and boots in the corner, Luger sent face first off the turnbuckle then the opposite one. Shane with a boot to the midsection before choking Luger with his boot. Luger reverses a whip off the ropes and catches Shane with a press slam. Ric pulls Shane over the ropes to the outside as he stumbles over and tags in.
Ric now with chops against the guard rail and some rights and lefts. Back in the ring, Shane begs only to be chopped. Ric pushes him to the corner but gets a thumb to the eye and tags in Buff. Ric face first in the corner, whipped into the opposite into his trademark high elevation back body drop. Clothesline by Buff and a snapmare into a rear chinlock. Tony with an audible bullshit on commentary when they're talking about Ric and Shane's history as Shane is tagged in, nails a leg drop. Shane chokes Ric before dropping him with a right, then another and another. Shane mocks Lex with a pose allowing Ric to be double teamed in NB's corner.
Buff tagged in, Ric tries to fight back with a chop but gets dropped again with another right. Ric back up with more chops though, then dropped again and choked by Bagwell, then lays in with more rights. Shane tagged in again, Ric fights back and sends him off the ropes but their heads collide. Ric whipped into the corner and Ric flips upside down. Shane with stomps in the corner, then a 10 punch as Ric stumbles to the opposite, Ric whipped into the opposite and flips over onto the apron this time, Shane dropping him with a shoulder block, only for Luger to drop him with a clothesline.
Ric makes the hot tag and Buff gets the tag, Luger with clotheslines on Buff and Shane, then a noggin knocker and a double clothesline. Ric comes in and puts Shane in the figure 4, Buff low blows Luger in the corner as Russo leaves commentary with bat in hand. Buff goes to the second rope as Shane sets Ric up for the Blockbuster, but Ric moves and Shane gets nailed. Ric gets the arm over Shane but Russo pulls the ref out and they start a shoving match and start arguing. Then out of nowhere, Kronik are in the ring and go after Luger and a double chokeslam. Russo has dropped the ref and takes the shirt off him, puts it on himself... well kinda. Buff hooks Luger's leg, Russo slides in and makes the count, giving Buff and Shane the titles in 8:32.
Russo takes the shirt off and holds the titles up high, embracing Buff and handing over the titles. Shane nails Ric with the bat and we go to the back, where Gene is with Steiner. Steiner says he represents himself, that he's a physical phenomenon, a genetic freak. He flexes and says the vein is arm is bigger than Sting's arms put together. He tells Gene to find Sting and tell him his ass is his, before walking off.
WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Tournament Finals: Scott Steiner vs Sting
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We Sting with Gene mid-Steiner entrance. Sting says if Eric and Russo want war, they've got one, then tells Steiner he's going to be the next casualty. He says running from him, Flair, etc. won't get Steiner anything, but WCW blood runs through their veins. Then he says it's showtime and heads out to the ring.
Steiner flips off the fans while Sting gets them riled up, then lock up, but Steiner with a knee to the ribs, into the corner with boots and rights. Sting sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, Steiner ducks a clothesline only to be hit with a dropkick coming off the ropes, then another, but Steiner rolls out, but Sting follows with a slingshot crossbody. Back in the ring, Sting goes up top for a splash but Steiner gets the knees up. Steiner gets Sting up and drops him with a press slam before talking trash to a woman in the front row. Sting sent off the ropes into a clothesline and an elbow, cover and a near fall, and immediately Steiner rushes at the ref when Sting kicks out.
Side suplex by Sting before Steiner leaves the ring and gets in a fan's face, then back to the ring. Sting hoisted up to the top rope, he tries for a belly to belly off the top but Sting headbutts his way out of it, then a clothesline out of the corner, then another. Sting nails a Stinger Splash and goes for a second but the referee gets sandwiched between him and Steiner. Another Stinger Splash. He goes to the opposite corner again, but all of a sudden Vampiro tears his way through the mat. Sting boots Steiner before he's pulled under the ring. Sting's mouth has been busted as Vamp pulls him up and pushes him out then disappears. Steiner pulls Sting back to the middle and wakes the ref before locking in the Recliner, Sting is unonscious and the ref calls for the bell, giving Steiner the championship in 5:34.
Steiner poses in the corner with his championship as his music hits, and flips off the fans for good measure before we go to replays. We go to commentary who are baffled and recaps what's happened, and wonders what'll happen in the next match. They recap what's happened happened since Monday and then we get a video package of what led to DDP's title shot. I don't know how necessary this is when it's only been a week since the reboot, but sure.
WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Diamond Dallas Page (w/ Kimberly) vs Jeff Jarrett
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Commentary are condemning Jarrett for nailing Kimberly with the guitar, completely overlooking the fact is was by accident as he makes his way out. No introductions from Buffer tonight.
Jarrett out of the corner immediate going for a right but Page ducks and lands lefts of his own, dropping Jeff. Page with a headlock, then sent off the ropes with a shoulder block, off the ropes and Jeff rolls under, then nailed with a spinning clothesline. Jarrett sent off the ropes but slips through the legs, only to be caught with an atomic drop. Jeff reverses a whip off the ropes, but Page blocks a hip toss into a DDT, cover and a 2 count.
Page rolls Jarrett out and nails a slingshot crossbody on the outside, then holds him up so Kimberly can slap him. Jarrett tossed over the barricade and they start fighting through the crowd. We get an overhead cam but can barely see anything. Jarrett is seen nailing Page with a trash can, Page with an elbow and a trash can shot himself now. Page breaks a wooden crutch over Jarrett's back and we finally get a camera shot in the crowd. Page takes a fans drink and gets a mouthful, but Jarrett nails a low blow and Page spits it out. Jarrett again with the trash can, and again and they finally go back to ringside, Jarrett getting tossed over the guard rail.
Jarrett uses Kimberly as a shield and gets a cheap shot in, tries to send Page into the guard rail but he blocks and gets an elbow in to the midsection, before going back to the ring. Page goes for a sunset flip from the apron but Jarrett hangs onto the rope for a pin attempt, then Page gets his legs up to flip Jarrett back for a pin and a 2 count.
Jarrett ducks a clothesline, then Page, then he nails a clothesline on Jarrett. Page goes up top but Jeff hits the ropes to crotch Page, followed by some rights and a superplex. Jeff goes outside and gets a chair and cracks Page over the back, then again. He tries again but the referee takes it away, now Jarrett lays in with boots to the back. Page tries to fight back but gets whipped hard into the corner instead. Jarrett to the second rope with an ax handle to the back, then a second time. Jeff goes to send Page off the ropes but he pulls back and nails a back elbow instead.
Back to their feet, Jeff comes off the ropes for a right but Page blocks and nails one of his own, then a second time, Jarrett reverses a whip off the ropes but Page catches him and nails a sitout powerbomb for a near fall. Bischoff at some point made his way out as we see following the pin attempt, and Page clothesline Jeff out, going out with him. Up the aisle way now, Jarrett send off the guard rail, then Page, and he gets nailed by... something. Back at ringside, Page sent into the guard rail again and nailed with the ring bell. Jarrett has grabbed Page's book from a fan and rips it up before rolling Page back in, only to pull DDP nuts first into the ring post. Kimberly grabs Jeff by the hair now and pulls him away, giving Page time to recover and pull Jarrett into the ring post.
Both in the ring now, Jarrett with boots to the midsection and choking with his boot in the corner. Page throws Jeff into the corner when he takes time to pose, throws Jeff into the opposite corner and follows, but as Jeff gets the boots up, Page slides under and out of the ring, tripping Jeff up and gives a taste of his own medicine, pulling him nuts first into the post. Page goes for the Diamond Cutter but Jarrett hangs onto the top rope and Page drops, the ref getting nailed in the process. Jarrett slips out and grabs the title and nails Page. Jarrett tosses the belt out and makes the cover, but Page gets the shoulder up.
Bischoff walks up closer to the ring as Jarrett locks in the figure 4, and we see Kimberly has picked up the guitar. Page gets counted down but gets his shoulder up at 2, then a second time as he tries to fight through the pain. We get a camera angle that appears to have like a red filter on it as that second pin is counted, that was weird. Page st arts to pass out and gets counted down again but fights his shoulder up, and manages to inch his way to the ropes to break it. Jarrett pulls him away and goes to lock it in again, but Page turns it into an inside cradle for a near fall. Jarrett argues with the ref and Page takes advantage with a roll up with a handful of tights for another near fall.
Jeff with a jawbreaker sends Page into the corner, but then reverses a whip into the opposite, only to get a boot to the face as he follows. Jeff up to the middle rope and jumps off, then caught by Page who goes for something like a Uranagi and a cover but Jeff kicks out. Page tries to send Jeff off the ropes but he pulls back and get Page in a sleeper hold and doesn't take long before he starts to pass out, dropping to his knees, but fights his way back up. Bischoff's climbed onto the apron as Page locks in the sleeper now, and turns it into a spinning slam to the mat. Bischoff meanwhile has grabbed hold of the ref, the ref laying in with some punches to get free. Kimberly has climbed the apron with guitar in hand now and Page nails the Diamond cutter.
Page calls for Kimberly to come in and get her revenge and he pulls Jeff up, but Kimberly smashes the guitar over Page's head instead, and Jeff nails the Stroke. Bischoff lets go of the ref as Jarrett hooks the leg and wins the championship in 15:04.
Bischoff has the goofiest grin as he looks into the camera, and Jarrett celebrates. Kimberly slips back into the ring as Eric joins in and they embrace. The tag champs and Russo come out to join the celebration, then Steiner, Candido and Tammy. Bagwell and Shane lift Jarrett up to celebrate as the show fades out.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Wow, this show was a mess. Only one match went past 10 minutes, the rest were barely 5 with the exception of a few, and only two matches actually had a clean finish. To top that off, with a total runtime of 2:38:24, this show had a total 1:27:10 of wrestling with 13 matches on the card. Not off to a good start for this new era.
Another video package set to music, highlighting everything that went down in the last week or so, then to the arena for the opening pyro, live from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden are on commentary, so I guess Mark recovered from his attack by Tank. They run down the card for tonight, going over the tournaments and the Millionaires Club's chances. They also tell us that Russo and Eric have made it clear to the referees that they don't want them to jump the gun and throw matches out immediately, so the DQ rule will be a more relaxed. Well at least they explained it. Then we get to our first match of the night.
The Mamalukes are out and do their entrance, then Schiavone sends us to Mean Gene in the back, who's with Team Package. Gene asks why Ric is in his street clothes, and he responds saying Russo's made it clear that it's a street fight, it's survival, says they're ready to go and woos a bunch of times. Commentary confirm Hogan checking out of the hospital as Luger makes his entrance. We're about to get started but then Russo's music hits and out he comes. He asks what happened to the even playing field, calling out to Slick Ric and "very small package". He says it's not even with them as veterans and rookies in the Mamalukes, then sends out "the boys" to even it up.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: The Mamalukes (Big Vito & Johnny the Bull) (w/ Disco Inferno) vs Team Package (The Total Package & Ric Flair) (w/ Elizabeth) vs The Harris Brothers
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Alright I'm actually going to give some credit here, seeing as the Harris Brothers were the champions before the reboot, so despite the stupidity of a last minute change, at least it makes some sense.
No bell is rung to start even though the referee is clearly calling for it, but immediately the New Blood go after Luger and Ric, Ric beaten down easily and then soon Luger. Tornado rules I guess. Luger and Ric manage to fight out finally and clear the ring. Ric with chops on Johnny in the corner, Luger beaten on the outside. Ric with a back body drop on Johnny and a figure 4 and... Ric just lets go for no reason. Vito takes him out with a side kick as he gets back up.
Oh I guess it's not tornado rules because the New Blood have taken their place on the apron, Vito and Ric the legal men. Ric sent off the ropes into a back elbow. Luger comes in now and nails Vito with rights... and the referee gets him back on the apron, while the Harris Brothers send Ric off the ropes into a double boot, cover and a near fall, then another and another near fall. Ric whipped into the corner then nailed with a clothesline. One Harris tags in the other and nails rights and boots in the corner, Ric whipped into the opposite corner but Ric nails a back elbow. Ric up top but Harris tosses him off.
Other Harris tagged in but misses an elbow, and another. The referee goes to deal with Vito while Ric tags in Luger, so he gets sent back to the apron while the New Blood all start to gang up on Ric. Disco sends Luger into the ring post as he's knocked to the floor, and Liz drops Disco off camera. Johnny and a Harris double teaming Ric in the corner, and Disco is led to the back by... I assume they're security but they're dressed in regular clothing so who knows. Back to the ring, New Blood starts fighting amongst themselves, and Flair tags Luger in in the chaos.
Luger clears the ring with a series of forearms, and Ric comes back in to help. Vito up top, he takes forever to move, only to get a gut shot by Luger then tossed out. Johnny now with a club to the back and kicks to the midsection. Luger reverses a whip into the corner but Johnny leaps up top and nails a springboard clothesline. Johnny with the cover and a kick out.
Luger reverses a whip off the ropes and sends Johnny into Vito and picks him up for the Torture Rack to give Team Package the win in 6:15. That was just a confusing mess.
Not much time for celebrating as we go back to Mean Gene who's with Mike Awesome, and we learn he'll be taking Sid's spot in the US Title tournament tonight, taking on Ernest Miller in the first round. Mike says they say cats got nine lives, and that it's good because he's gonna take those lives and beat the hell out of each of them. He also brings up how they say Cat is a master of several forms of martial arts, and in comes Bam Bam, calling Mike a jabroni. Mike gets mad, saying he's trying to conduct business and tells Bam Bam to get the hell off his set. He gets in Mike's face and Mike backs off, Bam Bam walks away and Mike attacks from behind. Rights and lefts and kicks as Bam Bam lay there, then walks away.
Now we have... oh god I didn't realize THIS match was on this show. We have Jimmy Hart against radio personality Mancow up next, which apparently started because Mancow said Hogan can do better than Hart during a radio show appearance, Jimmy attacked and I guess injured the guy's eye, so he made the challenge.
Jimmy Hart (w/ Emory Hale) vs Mancow (w/ Al Roker Jr., Turd the Bartender & Freak)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I had to look up who these people were, because I didn't realize any of the guys accompanying Jimmy and Mancow to the ring. The Wikipedia page didn't even have Emory listed on there for whatever reason. Jimmy gets a mic and says when this match is over, he's still gonna be the greatest manager in the world, and Mancow's just gonna be a Howard Stern wannabe. Crowd are fully behind Mancow because he's from Chicago. His theme song is terrible, must be straight from his radio show. He's out with several ladies and his entourage... I guess. Mancow with a mic now and calls Jimmy a piece of shit, and it's not even bleeped out. He thanks Bischoff for giving him this chance to avenge his pride in Chicago for a cheap pop. He says he loves this city, and says the son of a bitch Hart "pearl harbored" him in his own studio, his eye was injured, and says this match is for Chicago. Eye for an eye. Jummy turns his back to talk to Emory and Mancow attacks to get started.
Yeah I'm not covering this. It's all rolling around and throwing punches, a distraction by Emory, low blow by Jimmy, an attempt at a clothesline. This is a sad attempt at a fake fight. Emory does press slam Madcow to the outside on his entourage, that's the most exciting this match gets. Mancow gets handed a chair and he nails Jimmy in the back to get the win in 2:50.
aMancow celebrates but gets interrupted by Kidman and he makes his way out. Kidman lays in to Hart, talks some trash then leaves.
To the back, Russo is tearing into Mamalukes and Harris Brothers, how they blew their opportunity, and wouldn't get many more if they kept it up and tells them to leave before hitting a trash bin with his bat.
Back to the arena for an actual match now.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: The Wall vs Scott Steiner
Lock up to start and Steiner powers Wall into the corner before laying in with boots and rights, dropping him to the mat. Steiner tries to whip him, but Wall pulls back and knees him in the gut, laying in with clubs to the back. Steiner face first in the turnbuckle and Wall with more rights and boots, then choking Steiner. Wall up for a 10 punch but Steiner gets a low blow in before he hits his spinning belly to belly slam.
Boot to the head by Steiner, club to the back, then tries for a German but Wall elbows out and gets a low blow in then a big boot. Off the ropes with a leg drop, hooks the leg and a kick out. Snapmare, Wall grabs Steiner by the throat and pulls him up off the mat, slamming him down. Steiner manages to drop Wall throat first onto the top rope, then they roll to the outside. Wall reverses a whip into the guard rail and lays in with rights before he pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up. Steiner cuts him off and bounces his head off the table. Steiner tries to suplex but Wall catches him, trying for a chokeslam only for Steiner to rake the eyes. Steiner pulls the referee in front of a blinded Wall, who gets chokeslammed through the table. Another referee runs down and... calls for the bell. Steiner wins by DQ in 3:54.
Wall gets back in then... climbs back out chasing the other referee. Steiner poses in the corner as his music plays. Referees check on the one laid out as Steiner leaves and poses some more in the aisle.
We go to the back where Gene is with the Cat. Cat for some reason is under the impression James Brown would be there. Gene tries to tell him Mike Awesome is his opponent, but Cat doesn't care, saying Mike can't dance. He calls WCW a redneck company and that it's just like them to get a redneck to do their dirty work. He starts talking about Gene but gets attacked by Bam Bam from behind who lays in with rights and legs, lays him out.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Mike Awesome vs Bam Bam Bigelow(?) vs Ernest "the Cat" Miller
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get a replay from Nitro when Mike took out Nash. Bam Bam rushes down mid entrance and the ref just nonchalantly calls for the bell to start this.
Mike sent into the ring post, then whipped into the guard rail. Loud ECW chant as they get into the ring. Mike reverses a whip and gets a big boot up way too early, sending Bam Bam reeling and sent to the outside with a clothesline, then Mike dives over the ropes onto Bigelow. Damn that a nice and clean.
Mike whipped into the guard rail again, but Bigelow is launched over to the floor. Mike backs up and dives over the guard rail into Bigelow again. I forgot how he could fly like this. Back in the ring, Bam Bam dropped with a clothesline before Mike goes up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a near fall. Back body drop attempt by Mike but Bigelow turns midair and lands on top, cover and a kick out.
Scoop slam by Bigelow before he goes up top and nails a flying headbutt. Cat slides in as Bigelow calls for Greetings from Asbury Park and nails a standing side kick, sending Bigelow out to the floor. Cat gets a mic and says he came here to be a winner, and he just beat every ass in the ring. He tells the fans to shut up while he puts his red shoes on so he can dance for them. Cat's music hits and he starts dancing. Meanwhile Mike finally comes to and nails a running clothesline. Mike goes up top and hits the frog splash to win in 4 minutes. What?
Mike screams into the camera that he's the best as he leaves the ring and we go to replays.
To the back, we see Russo telling Eric he's getting a headache just watching Eric, telling him to relax, that it's under control. Eric is annoyed with Kidman who's busy with Torrie, who reminds him he has other business to take care of tonight. Kidman insists he scared off Hogan by attacking Jimmy, and Eric's having none of it.
Cut to Gene who's with Douglas and Bagwell, who're facing Harlem Heat 2000, to see who faces Team Package in the finals. Bagwell says Harlem Heat is just a roadblock for the New Blood, and it's a new day at WCW, a new time, and it's all about the New Blood. Douglas calls out Ric, saying Space Mountain is officially closed as of tonight. He says that limo riding, jet flying, son of a gun bullshit is over, good riddance. He says they are they future, the New Blood, and their time is now before they head to the ring.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Harlem Heat 2000 (Stever Ray & Big T) (w/ Cash & J. Biggs) vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell
Shane sent off the ropes by Ray into a scoop slam. Ray tries for an elbow but Shane rolls out of the way. Arm wringer and rams into the shoulder before Buff is tagged in. Ray sent off the ropes, kick to the midsection, Buff off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker. Rights by Buff, Ray reverses a whip off the ropes and is tagged out in the process, T catches Buff with a spinebuster and Ray with a leg drop off the ropes. Buff whipped into the corner and T follows but drops him with an elbow, then a corner splash for a cover and a near fall.
Buff with the hot tag and Ray tags in, Shane lays in rights on both, clotheslines, then a noggin knocker. Shane goes off the ropes but gets nailed by a couple of big boots. Cash sends Buff face first into the ring post outside. The ref tries to get Ray back on the apron and Shane nails T with a low blow, then nails Ray with the Pittsburgh Plunge, hooks the leg and gets the win in 2:42.
Harlem Heat argue in the ring while Shane and Buff make thei exit, then they make their exit.
To the back, Gene is with Booker, who faces Sting up next. He says if anyone's fought for an opportunity it's him, and says he might be on the same page with New Blood when it comes to opportunity, but that's it. He talks about how Eric got on him for what Booker did on Monday, and how the two of them have never seen eye to eye, but tonight he's got business with Sting, and he leaves.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Booker vs Sting
We get a stare down and some shoving to start this out, then a lock up. Booker with a side headlock, sent off the ropes and hits a shoulder block, then off the ropes into a hip toss from Sting. Another lock up but Sting nails a knee to the ribs and clubs to the back. Rights as her sends Sting off the ropes, ducks a couple clotheslines and nails a scoop slam. Running clothesline then sends Booker over the ropes to the outside.
Kick to the chest by Booker before Sting whips him into... I think it's the timekeeper's area, but more importantly into the timekeeper and cameraman. Booker face first off the announce table, Sting backs up and charges but gets launched up and dropped onto the table. Back in the ring, Sting sent off the ropes into a back elbow, Booker covers for a 2 count, then a rear chinlock.
Sting fights back up, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline but Booker catches him with a knee to the ribs, club to the back, cover and a kick out. Snapmare by Booker then a knee drop, hooks the leg for another 2 count and another chinlock. Sting fights up and out again, reverses a whip off the ropes but Booker pulls him back for a knee to the midsection and nails the scissors kick, hooks the leg but Sting kicks out.
Sting sent off the ropes into a flapjack and then a Spinaroonie, goes for the Harlem Side Kick but Sting ducks and nails a DDT, cover but Booker gets the shoulder up. Sting with the Stinger Splash, and goes for another but Booker flies out of the corner with a side kick to the ribs. Sting sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a crossbody, cover and a near fall. Sting goes for a suplex but Booker slips out, kick to the gut and goes for a suplex of his own, but Sting nails the Scorpion Deathdrop to get the win in 6:35. See why can't these matches be this simple? That was good.
Sting poses and goes to leave but Booker goes after him they stare each other down and asks Sting to rejoin him in the ring. Booker puts his fist out and Sting bumps it before he leaves and his music hits, then we go to replays.
To the back, Gene is with Kidman, Torrie and Eric, who's looking around nervously for Hogan. Eric says the idea of Hogan being there tonight is just a rumor, and isn't gonna let a stupid rumor rain on his parade. He says Hogan might be a glory hound, but he isn't dumb enough to step into the lion's den. Kidman tells him not to sweat the small stuff, because even if Hogan does show up, he'll be wheeling himself in a wheelchair because of what they did to him. He says if "brother man" shows up, he'll send him back to the emergency room sucking air through a tube.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match: Vampiro vs Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson)
Kidman charges at Vampiro only to hit the corner instead, headbutts in the corner and rights and chops. Kidman whipped to the opposite and hit with a clothesline, then the other corner into an overhead belly to belly. Vampiro up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a 2 count. Kidman sent off the ropes, slip through the legs and catches Vamp with the hurricanrana followed by a dropkick. In the corner, 10 count by Kidman, but Vamp throws him across the ring with a powerbomb.
Back suplex by Vamp, then goes for a powerbomb but Kidman nails a facebuster instead. Kidman with a series of rights before sending Vamp face first in the corner. Kicks to the midsection and a scoop slam and a slingshot legdrop from the apron, cover and a 2 count. Vamp now with kicks to the midsection in the corner, Kidman sent off the ropes but catches Vamp with a kick to the midsection, then clubs to the back. Sidewalk slam, hooks the leg and a near fall for Kidman.
Choke with the boot in the corner by Kidman, then tries a suplex but Vamp delivers one of his own, then a Uranagi, hooks the leg for a near fall. Another powerbomb attempt and another facebuster by Kidman, cover and a kick out. Vamp tossed to the outside and Kidman follows, Vamp knee first into the steps and back to the ring. Vamp with a spinning front kick, cover and a 2 count. Vamp takes Kidman down with an armbar, but Kidman fights up with a DDT, cover and a 2 count.
We see a Dodge Charger arriving and out comes Hogan, who wastes no time going out to the arena. his rips and shoulder taped up. Vamp takes advantage and nails Kidman from behind, who then nails a low blow. Hogan gets his hands on Kidman and throws Kidman over the ropes to the floor. Rights by Hogan on the outside, Kidman face first off the steps then the ring post. Hogan picks up the ring steps and throws em at Kidman but he moves out of the way. Hogan sets up the steps in front of the announce table and bounces Kidman off it with a two-handed chokeslam. Hogan sends Kidman through the table with a scoop slam. Kidman can't defend himself as Hogan tosses him back in the ring, Vamp pulls Kidman to the middle and hooks the leg to win in 8:30. Wow that match was longer than I thought. Not very exciting either, and the Hogan stuff was just dragged out.
Hogan takes Hudson's headset, but then gets handed a proper mic and says he hopes Eric is watching, because he's coming for his ass right now. Hogan heads to the back and we see Bischoff in the back praying, then makes his way out of the room. Russo tells him to stay seeing as he'll be a sitting duck out there, then Russo says he'll take care of it and leaves, much to Eric's dismay. We see Hogan come to the back looking for Bischoff and makes a mess. No one seems to know where Bischoff is as Hogan keeps screaming, opening doors. He kicks in the door to Eric's office and Eric keeps him at bay with a chair. Hogan gets his hands on Bischoff, and Russo rushes in with the police, who all pull their guns on Hogan and gets him off Eric.
Back to the arena and... Oh back to Hogan who's been cuffed. Hogan and Eric are screaming at each other as the cops take him away, while Terry Taylor and Funk walk up. Terry tells him Norman's in catering trying to avoid fighting Funk.
WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk vs "Screamin" Norman Smiley
Everyone points Funk toward Smiley, who's in the men's bathroom, screaming as Funk calls out to him. Funk kicks in the stall door and sends Norman into the door, then the wall. Trash can off the head. Out into catering, Punk grabs an extinguisher from the wall and sprays Norman. Scoop slam onto a table and tips it over. Norman face first off of the table, then gets a ton of pop cans dumped on him. Norman slid through coffee equipment and the order window, Funk follows but gets sprayed by a hose, then hit in the head with a trash can. Fun whipped into a food cart, then a trash can to the back of the head. Norman slams the cart down on him, then a cookie sheet to the head. Funk dumped into a trash can and knocked over, kick to the head. Pop can bashed into Funk's head, then Funk takes a laptop nearby and bashes Norman in the head with it, then again, and again, covers for a near fall.
Norman face first into an equipment case, but he fights back then climbs a ladder leaned against a wall, then hangs onto dear life on the plumbing above as Funk pulls the ladder out from under him. Funk pulls a table over under Norman and uses a chair to take him down, sending him through the table. Norman into a door and Funk throws a chair at him. Norman with a chair to the ribs, then one to the head, then the back.They make their way into the arena and more chair shots by Norman, Funk face first off an equipment case. Chair to the ribs then head again of Funk. Another to the head as they stumble to the ring then another and another. Funk is still standing as they go into the ring.
Chair to the back of the head before Norman wiggles a bit, then a chair to the back. Norman lays the chair on the mat and sends Funk's face into it before he does his Big Wiggle, only for Funk to nail him in the head with a chair, then throws it into his face sending him out of the ring. Funk pulls a ladder out from under the ring and wedges it between the ropes and... Oh Dustin Rhodes is here. Another chair shot to the head on Funk, then a piledriver onto the chair. Dustin to the second rope with the chair but Funk gets the boot up, Dustin falls back first on the ladder. Ladder slammed into Norman sending him to the outside, then Funk throws it down on him. Funk goes out now and makes the cover to win the title in 8:07. Christ what a mess.
We cut to the back where Russo is on Booker about his fist bump with Sting, calling him a girl. Russo insists he's the nice guy as Booker gets annoyed and tells him to stop pissing off Eric. He says he'll keep this potato crap between them, whatever the hell that means, if Booker does him a favor. They head off somewhere.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Mike Awesome vs Scott Steiner
Lock up briefly to start but Steiner immediately takes him to the mat with elbows to the side of the head. Mike sent off the ropes into a clothesline and an elbow drop. Mike tossed out of the ring and Steiner does some pushups. Mike gets a knee to the midsection as he climbs to the apron, Steiner off the opposite ropes and Mike nails a slingshot shoulder block then a splash off the ropes, cover and a near fall.
Mike to the top with a flying clothesline, another cover and a 2 count. Steiner face first off the turnbuckle but then nails a low blow, before his spinning belly to belly slam. Mike sent into the corner for kicks to the midsection, then rights by Steiner. Mike whipped into the opposite corner but leaps to the top rope and nails a back elbow, cover and a 2 count. Leap high in the air for a leg drop, cover and another 2 count. Fans are getting all excited for something off screen and commentary have no idea what it is as Mike goes up top and... Oh it's Nash running down with a crutch, breaking the head over Mike's back and sending him crashing to the mat. Steiner applies the Recliner to win in 3:16.
Steiner poses in the corner as Nash leaves, then we go to the back where Russo is going at Dustin, pissed that he let Funk win the Hardcore Title, and Booker is by his side. Russo fires him and sends him packing, saying he's nothing, and only ever was something when he was Goldust, and takes credit for its success. Russo leaves as Booker tries to calm Dustin down.
WCW United States Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match: Vampiro vs Sting
Sting rushes the ring and gets nailed with a spinning heel kick right away to start this one. Boots and rights by Vamp into the corner, into the other corner with more right and a spinning side kick tot he chest. More rights and chops but Sting braces for it, backs out of the corner. Sting now with rights and kicks into and down in the corner. Vamp tossed to the outside and Sting follows, sends Vamp face first into a chair. Chair across the back of Vamp then back in the ring. Scoop slam by Sting before he goes up top and nails a splash, cover and a near fall.
Vamp tossed back out and sends him into the guard rail. Sting goes for a splash but hits the guard rail, then gets an ax kick to the back. Vamp sets up a chair and sends Sting face first into it, then a standing side kick. Back in the ring, Vamp goes up top but Sting rolls toward the corner, so Vamp hops down. Sting sent off the ropes into a leaping shoulder block, then a leg drop, a cover and a 2 count.
Vamp with a back body drop, another cover and a near fall. Kick to the chest then another by Vamp before sending Sting face first in the corner, followed by a couple of chop and a suplex, hooks the leg for a 2 count. Scoop slam by Vamp in the corner before he goes up... well I think he was going for a dropkick and Sting was supposed to catch his legs as he came down, but Sting just ends up falling backwards. Sting nails the Scorpion Deathdrop, then applies the Scorpion Deathlock to get the win in 5:59. Another match without the stupid BS, I like it.
Sting heads to the back as we go to replays, then to Gene who's standing by with DDP and Kimberly. DDP says there's only one thing he wants more than to become a 3x (3x, 3x) WCW WHC, ad that's to kick the rat bastard Jeff Jarrett's ass from one side of Chi-Town to the other. He says before the night is over, Kimberly's gonna get her shot at Jarrett.
Six-Way for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Shannon Moore (w/ Shane Helms) vs Chris Candido vs The Artist (w/ Paisley) vs Juventud Guerrera vs Lash Leroux vs Crowbar (w/ Daffney & David Flair)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Shannon and Shane are out first and Shannon gets a mic, saying that only 2 of 3 Count could make it tonight, but they're better than anything else, because everybody goes down for the three count. Everyone else in this match wastes no time rushing to the ring without any entrances and the bell is rung.
Chaos to start until the ring is cleared of all but Candido and Shannon, scoop slam by Candido and a cover but Crowbar pulls him off. Candido sent off the ropes by Crowbar, goes for a suplex but Crowbar pushes him off, off the ropes and Candido ducks a clothesline and goes for a DDT but Crowbar hits a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge, but Lash breaks it up. Slingshot somersault legdrop by Crowbar on Candido, cover and Leroux breaks it up again. Lash drops him with a clothesline after Crowbar... flops to the mat twice for some reason, cover and a 2 count.
Lash picks Crowbar up on his shoulders and slams him on his back, hooks the leg for a 2 count. Juvie in now with chops, Lash with rights and picks Juvie up on his shoulders for that slam but Juvie slips out, while Crowbar goes up top. Some back and forth, Juvie hits the Juvie Driver on Lash but Artist kicks him in the head before he can go for the pin. Juvie sent off the ropes by Artist but catches him with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Superkick by the Artist, while Candido goes to suplex Lash on the outside only to be reversed. Crowbar tosses Artist out, Daffney goes up top and goes for Juvie but lands on Crowbar's shoulders, and nails him with a hurricanrana because... I guess she's crazy. She screams at Juvie and sends him back, then he goes for the Juvie Driver but Crowbar pulls her off him to the apron. Another scream and Juvie dropkicks her into the arms of Crowbar, then Lash lands on them with a slingshot crossbody, then Artist with a springboard splash onto them, then Juvie up top and takes them out, then Shannon back body dropped by Helms onto Lash.
David Flair comes in now and sends Helms out. Candido up top but Artist crotches him and goes up, but Candido fights out. Candido pushes him off and misses a diving headbutt. Artist with a torture rack drop. Artist goes to the second rope as Paisley slides in a chair, and out of nowhere Sunny... er I guess Tammy Sytch hops onto the apron and grabs Artist by the hair, yanking him to the mat the back of his head hitting the chair. Candido makes the cover and wins the title in 5:13.
Tammy joins Chris in the ring to celebrate while Paisley gets mad at the Artist. Then her and Tammy get into it before being pulled apart by Shannon Moore and Charles Robinson, before getting testicular clawed, then more fighting. Candido pulls off Tammy and they make their exit as Paisley stands tall.
Commentary hype up their next PPV, Slamboree, 3 weeks away, then go to the back, where Gene is standing by with Jarrett, the former asking for his thoughts on what DDP said earlier in the night. Jeff tells him not to be a wise ass, threatening to slap his liver spots right in two. Then he reiterates that he's the chosen one, with Russo and Bischoff behind him, the New Blood on his side, and he'll be the new World Champion when all is said and done. He calls Gene an old, Geritol slap ass and tells him to choke on that before he heads off.
WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: Team Package (w/ Elizabeth) vs Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell (w/ Vince Russo)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Russo decides to join the party, sporting a Mets jersey and wielding his trademark(?) baseball bat, and decides to join commentary. Oh joy, as if we didn't have enough with Madden.
Luger and Bagwell start the match, Bagwell trying to get a handshake, and I think trying to tell him Russo won't get involved, he does a swinging motion like he's holding a baseball bat. Luger takes his hand as if to shake but lays in with boots to the midsection instead, whipping Buff in to the corner and follows, but Buff gets the boots up and nails a clothesline. Scoop slam and some strutting by Buff with his back turned to Luger, who's already back on his feet, Shane's trying to tell his partner that but it's too late. Lex flexes and mocks Buff's strut before another boot to the midsection, Buff sent off the ropes into a clothesline and a scoop slam.
Back up, Buff rakes the eyes and tags in Douglas, rights in the and boots in the corner, Luger sent face first off the turnbuckle then the opposite one. Shane with a boot to the midsection before choking Luger with his boot. Luger reverses a whip off the ropes and catches Shane with a press slam. Ric pulls Shane over the ropes to the outside as he stumbles over and tags in.
Ric now with chops against the guard rail and some rights and lefts. Back in the ring, Shane begs only to be chopped. Ric pushes him to the corner but gets a thumb to the eye and tags in Buff. Ric face first in the corner, whipped into the opposite into his trademark high elevation back body drop. Clothesline by Buff and a snapmare into a rear chinlock. Tony with an audible bullshit on commentary when they're talking about Ric and Shane's history as Shane is tagged in, nails a leg drop. Shane chokes Ric before dropping him with a right, then another and another. Shane mocks Lex with a pose allowing Ric to be double teamed in NB's corner.
Buff tagged in, Ric tries to fight back with a chop but gets dropped again with another right. Ric back up with more chops though, then dropped again and choked by Bagwell, then lays in with more rights. Shane tagged in again, Ric fights back and sends him off the ropes but their heads collide. Ric whipped into the corner and Ric flips upside down. Shane with stomps in the corner, then a 10 punch as Ric stumbles to the opposite, Ric whipped into the opposite and flips over onto the apron this time, Shane dropping him with a shoulder block, only for Luger to drop him with a clothesline.
Ric makes the hot tag and Buff gets the tag, Luger with clotheslines on Buff and Shane, then a noggin knocker and a double clothesline. Ric comes in and puts Shane in the figure 4, Buff low blows Luger in the corner as Russo leaves commentary with bat in hand. Buff goes to the second rope as Shane sets Ric up for the Blockbuster, but Ric moves and Shane gets nailed. Ric gets the arm over Shane but Russo pulls the ref out and they start a shoving match and start arguing. Then out of nowhere, Kronik are in the ring and go after Luger and a double chokeslam. Russo has dropped the ref and takes the shirt off him, puts it on himself... well kinda. Buff hooks Luger's leg, Russo slides in and makes the count, giving Buff and Shane the titles in 8:32.
Russo takes the shirt off and holds the titles up high, embracing Buff and handing over the titles. Shane nails Ric with the bat and we go to the back, where Gene is with Steiner. Steiner says he represents himself, that he's a physical phenomenon, a genetic freak. He flexes and says the vein is arm is bigger than Sting's arms put together. He tells Gene to find Sting and tell him his ass is his, before walking off.
WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Tournament Finals: Scott Steiner vs Sting
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We Sting with Gene mid-Steiner entrance. Sting says if Eric and Russo want war, they've got one, then tells Steiner he's going to be the next casualty. He says running from him, Flair, etc. won't get Steiner anything, but WCW blood runs through their veins. Then he says it's showtime and heads out to the ring.
Steiner flips off the fans while Sting gets them riled up, then lock up, but Steiner with a knee to the ribs, into the corner with boots and rights. Sting sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, Steiner ducks a clothesline only to be hit with a dropkick coming off the ropes, then another, but Steiner rolls out, but Sting follows with a slingshot crossbody. Back in the ring, Sting goes up top for a splash but Steiner gets the knees up. Steiner gets Sting up and drops him with a press slam before talking trash to a woman in the front row. Sting sent off the ropes into a clothesline and an elbow, cover and a near fall, and immediately Steiner rushes at the ref when Sting kicks out.
Side suplex by Sting before Steiner leaves the ring and gets in a fan's face, then back to the ring. Sting hoisted up to the top rope, he tries for a belly to belly off the top but Sting headbutts his way out of it, then a clothesline out of the corner, then another. Sting nails a Stinger Splash and goes for a second but the referee gets sandwiched between him and Steiner. Another Stinger Splash. He goes to the opposite corner again, but all of a sudden Vampiro tears his way through the mat. Sting boots Steiner before he's pulled under the ring. Sting's mouth has been busted as Vamp pulls him up and pushes him out then disappears. Steiner pulls Sting back to the middle and wakes the ref before locking in the Recliner, Sting is unonscious and the ref calls for the bell, giving Steiner the championship in 5:34.
Steiner poses in the corner with his championship as his music hits, and flips off the fans for good measure before we go to replays. We go to commentary who are baffled and recaps what's happened, and wonders what'll happen in the next match. They recap what's happened happened since Monday and then we get a video package of what led to DDP's title shot. I don't know how necessary this is when it's only been a week since the reboot, but sure.
WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Diamond Dallas Page (w/ Kimberly) vs Jeff Jarrett
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Commentary are condemning Jarrett for nailing Kimberly with the guitar, completely overlooking the fact is was by accident as he makes his way out. No introductions from Buffer tonight.
Jarrett out of the corner immediate going for a right but Page ducks and lands lefts of his own, dropping Jeff. Page with a headlock, then sent off the ropes with a shoulder block, off the ropes and Jeff rolls under, then nailed with a spinning clothesline. Jarrett sent off the ropes but slips through the legs, only to be caught with an atomic drop. Jeff reverses a whip off the ropes, but Page blocks a hip toss into a DDT, cover and a 2 count.
Page rolls Jarrett out and nails a slingshot crossbody on the outside, then holds him up so Kimberly can slap him. Jarrett tossed over the barricade and they start fighting through the crowd. We get an overhead cam but can barely see anything. Jarrett is seen nailing Page with a trash can, Page with an elbow and a trash can shot himself now. Page breaks a wooden crutch over Jarrett's back and we finally get a camera shot in the crowd. Page takes a fans drink and gets a mouthful, but Jarrett nails a low blow and Page spits it out. Jarrett again with the trash can, and again and they finally go back to ringside, Jarrett getting tossed over the guard rail.
Jarrett uses Kimberly as a shield and gets a cheap shot in, tries to send Page into the guard rail but he blocks and gets an elbow in to the midsection, before going back to the ring. Page goes for a sunset flip from the apron but Jarrett hangs onto the rope for a pin attempt, then Page gets his legs up to flip Jarrett back for a pin and a 2 count.
Jarrett ducks a clothesline, then Page, then he nails a clothesline on Jarrett. Page goes up top but Jeff hits the ropes to crotch Page, followed by some rights and a superplex. Jeff goes outside and gets a chair and cracks Page over the back, then again. He tries again but the referee takes it away, now Jarrett lays in with boots to the back. Page tries to fight back but gets whipped hard into the corner instead. Jarrett to the second rope with an ax handle to the back, then a second time. Jeff goes to send Page off the ropes but he pulls back and nails a back elbow instead.
Back to their feet, Jeff comes off the ropes for a right but Page blocks and nails one of his own, then a second time, Jarrett reverses a whip off the ropes but Page catches him and nails a sitout powerbomb for a near fall. Bischoff at some point made his way out as we see following the pin attempt, and Page clothesline Jeff out, going out with him. Up the aisle way now, Jarrett send off the guard rail, then Page, and he gets nailed by... something. Back at ringside, Page sent into the guard rail again and nailed with the ring bell. Jarrett has grabbed Page's book from a fan and rips it up before rolling Page back in, only to pull DDP nuts first into the ring post. Kimberly grabs Jeff by the hair now and pulls him away, giving Page time to recover and pull Jarrett into the ring post.
Both in the ring now, Jarrett with boots to the midsection and choking with his boot in the corner. Page throws Jeff into the corner when he takes time to pose, throws Jeff into the opposite corner and follows, but as Jeff gets the boots up, Page slides under and out of the ring, tripping Jeff up and gives a taste of his own medicine, pulling him nuts first into the post. Page goes for the Diamond Cutter but Jarrett hangs onto the top rope and Page drops, the ref getting nailed in the process. Jarrett slips out and grabs the title and nails Page. Jarrett tosses the belt out and makes the cover, but Page gets the shoulder up.
Bischoff walks up closer to the ring as Jarrett locks in the figure 4, and we see Kimberly has picked up the guitar. Page gets counted down but gets his shoulder up at 2, then a second time as he tries to fight through the pain. We get a camera angle that appears to have like a red filter on it as that second pin is counted, that was weird. Page st arts to pass out and gets counted down again but fights his shoulder up, and manages to inch his way to the ropes to break it. Jarrett pulls him away and goes to lock it in again, but Page turns it into an inside cradle for a near fall. Jarrett argues with the ref and Page takes advantage with a roll up with a handful of tights for another near fall.
Jeff with a jawbreaker sends Page into the corner, but then reverses a whip into the opposite, only to get a boot to the face as he follows. Jeff up to the middle rope and jumps off, then caught by Page who goes for something like a Uranagi and a cover but Jeff kicks out. Page tries to send Jeff off the ropes but he pulls back and get Page in a sleeper hold and doesn't take long before he starts to pass out, dropping to his knees, but fights his way back up. Bischoff's climbed onto the apron as Page locks in the sleeper now, and turns it into a spinning slam to the mat. Bischoff meanwhile has grabbed hold of the ref, the ref laying in with some punches to get free. Kimberly has climbed the apron with guitar in hand now and Page nails the Diamond cutter.
Page calls for Kimberly to come in and get her revenge and he pulls Jeff up, but Kimberly smashes the guitar over Page's head instead, and Jeff nails the Stroke. Bischoff lets go of the ref as Jarrett hooks the leg and wins the championship in 15:04.
Bischoff has the goofiest grin as he looks into the camera, and Jarrett celebrates. Kimberly slips back into the ring as Eric joins in and they embrace. The tag champs and Russo come out to join the celebration, then Steiner, Candido and Tammy. Bagwell and Shane lift Jarrett up to celebrate as the show fades out.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Wow, this show was a mess. Only one match went past 10 minutes, the rest were barely 5 with the exception of a few, and only two matches actually had a clean finish. To top that off, with a total runtime of 2:38:24, this show had a total 1:27:10 of wrestling with 13 matches on the card. Not off to a good start for this new era.
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