Week 3 - A Dark Week in Wrestling History

WCW Nitro

Our opening package gives us a brief recap of last week's Nitro, ending with that bizarre cliffhanger of Bret with a chair, and we go to our opening video...

Or not, because we cut to Vampiro and Sting fighting in the back, live from the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester, New York.Sting thrown through a door as Vamp lays in with kicks and punches, only to be thrown into walls and equipment cases, then a ladder and some random pipes lying around. Sting starts to walk away through a curtain but Vamp cracks him in the back with a pipe. It was a fairly decent brawl but they just cut it short there.

We go out to the arena where Mark Madden, Scott Hudson and Tony Schiavone welcome us to the show on commentary. Tony tells us we'll see exclusive footage of what happened after Nitro went off the air last week as we start the show with a match.

WCW World Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk (c) vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Funk comes out with a chair but Bigelow doesn't waste any time, charging down the ramp with a trash can and a mop and nails Funk from behind to get things started.

Bigelow with the mop tries to hit Funk but he blocks the shot with the chair, only to be jabbed in the ribs with it, then broken over Funk's head, sending him stumbling toward the ring. Out of nowhere Ernest Miller runs down and nails Funk and Bigelow in the head with a trash can lid, it drops Funk but barely fazes Bigelow who knocks him on his ass with a right hand. Funk goes looking under the ring for something, Funk again with chair in hand gets Bigelow in the ribs then across the back, and again. He goes for the head as Bigelow leans against the ring post but he moves out of the way in time. 

Bigelow fights back with an elbow to the head as he rolls Funk in the ring, throwing the chair into his head and tosses the trash can over the ropes. Trash can over the head of Funk, Bigelow takes the chair and swings away at the defenseless Funk. Miller in now as Bigelow nails Funk again, then goes for Cat but he sends it back into Bigelow's face with like a cartwheel kick. Miller rolls out and Funk falls backwards, landing between Bigelow's legs for an accidental low blow. Funk gets the trash can off himself and makes the recover to retain in 2:02. It was alright for what it was, but once again this incessant interference. 

Funk celebrates as Bigelow rolls out, but Cat gets a mic and calls for his music to be cut, then has his music played, sliding into the ring to dance. 

We go to commentary who recap what's happened with Hogan and Kidman since Spring Stampede, and brings up last week's cliffhanger. They play the footage and Bret cracks Hogan in the head with the chair. Wow, shocking reveal! (eye roll) Tony tells us that on Thunder we'll see an exclusive interview that Scott conducted in Calgary with Bret as Kidman makes his way down to the ring alongside Torrie, his ribs taped up after last week's attack.

He brings up how he dared Hogan to meet him in the parking lot last week to settle things man to man, but Hogan realized that Kidman is more of a man than he can ever handle, which is why he tried to run him over. He says Hogan damn near killed him, but he's there tonight, and if he thinks the people still want to see the red and yellow, he tells Terry to bring the yellow and he'll supply the red in Hogan's blood, that tonight he starts it and finishes it at Slamboree. Kidman's music hits as he holds his ribs. 

Cut to the back and Bischoff, Jarrett and Kimberly are backstage shitting on Rochester and Bischoff notices Kidman in the ring as he walks past a monitor, asking if he's out of his mind. He mentions some papers that Kimberly's got in her hand, she asks how she looks. Bischoff says she looks great but suggest she lose the jacket as they walk off and we go to commercial. Everything to this point has only happened in the span of 10 minutes.

Back from break, Norman is with Russo, pleading with Russo to give him a Hardcore Title match with Funk. Russo tells him to fin himself a partner to face Funk at Slamboree for the Hardcore Title, mentioning the whole even playing field thing. They shake hands, Norman thanks him and says he knows exactly who he's going to pick and he leaves.

Back to the arena now, Jarrett's music hits and out he comes alongside Bischoff and Kimberly. We see Arquette at ringside while commentary plug Ready to Rumble. Jarrett says at Slamboree he's going to give DDP  a chance to star in his own movie, since he wants to be a movie star, and he's calling it "The Chosen One Kicks DDP's Ass Up and Down a Three-Tier Cage," rung to rung, top to bottom, side to side. Not very catchy, Jeff, stick to your day job. I usually completely miss the signs in the crowd, but this one gave me a good chuckle.

He says he's going to beat his ass and neglect it, just like he did to his lovely wife Kimberly.

Bischoff starts talking without a mic for some reason and it comes through clear, so they either have really good mics or a really quiet crowd. He says Kimberly has what may be the very last gift for DDP from her for the rest of his life, and says he needs to get himself down there. Jarrett tries to hand him a mic and he refuses.

Page makes his way out and down to the ring. DDP is wearing an Einstein shirt for... reasons. He asks what she's doing hanging out with those two jagoffs. Kimberly gets a mic and says it's because for once she is finally in the driver's seat. She says she used to think the two of them had something special, but Bischoff enlightened her to a lot of things about her career, the wrestling fans, the stupid wrestling marks, and most of all him, and as far as they're concerned she wants out of the marriage. She hands him the divorce papers she brought with her. He says they can work it out, but she doesn't want to, and tells him not to beg and embarrass himself. She says it's not as bad as all that, to be positive. Paige asks if he should be positive that she's lost her or mind or that's she's turning into a super bitch. 

Bischoff pipes in and says to settle down, that there's no need for attorneys or a scene. Paige says he'll sign the papers as soon as he shoves them down Bischoff's throat, and he grabs hold of Bischoff ans shoves him against the ropes. Jarrett smashes the guitar over Page's back and Arquette jumps he ring, attacking Bischoff now while Jarrett stomps away at Page. Then he picks Arquette off of Bischoff and tosses him in the corner. Then Kanyon comes out and knocks Jarrett out of the ring with a right hand. Bischoff and co make their escape as Kanyon and Arquette look on. 

Bischoff gets back on the mic I guess realizing that Arquette was the one that jumped him, pissed that "Mr. Courtney Cox" came into his house and embarrassed him in front of his fans. Bischoff I think challenges Arquette to a match, so Arquette gets on the mic and accepts, saying he's going to "1-800-kick his butt". Then he suggests upping the stakes, that if he pins Bischoff in the ring, then DDP gets an early shot at Jarrett in a Steel Cage Match. Jarrett tries real hard to tear the mic away from an enraged Bischoff but Bischoff accepts, saying he's going to tear Arquette's head off. They head to the back as Page's music hits and they make their exit. Well this whole thing was awkward, and Kimberly wasn't nearly as good on the mic this week as she was last. And Arquette, well... I mean the 1-800 line actually made me snicker a bit but that's about it.

Cut to the back where Kronik has a hold of Russo demanding a title shot tonight. Russo says they'll get their title shot but they have to do something for him first, and tells them to get their panties out of a wad and take a seat, then cut to commercial.

Back from the break we get replays of the chaos before the break, and Tony tells us Bischoff/Arquette will be at the top of the hour. Then we go to the back where, for whatever reason, Jarrett and Bischoff are in a bathroom. Jarrett is obviously panicking but Bischoff tells him to chill, that it's David Arquette, and says they have bigger problems. He asks Jarrett to get him Kidman and Jarrett leaves.

Then we cut to Sting who seems to be perfectly fine after the fight at the top of the show and he's calling out for Vamp. Then we go to the arena for our next match:

"Hard Knox" Chris Candido (WCW World Cruiserweight Champion) & Tammy Sytch vs The Artist & Paisley

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Tammy gets a mic and asks if they missed her, that it's about time WCW brought in a real lady who knows how to titillate all the guys out there. She says Paisley can learn a thing or two from her, because she obviously has no idea what the men there want to see.

Candido and Artist waste no time going after each other, quick back and forth only to knock each other down with shoulder blocks. Tammy slips into the ring now as her and Paisley stare each other down and pin their respective opponents for two kick outs. Catfight breaks out  while the Artist and Chris roll out. Ref breaks them up and sends Paisley to the apron while Tammy goes up top taking both men out with a crossbody. Tammy rolls back in and Artist gets her by the hair, goes for a suplex and we get a thong shot as Tammy's skirt goes down but Candido gets Artist from behind before he can connect, Tammy rolls through into an inside cradle but Artist kicks out.

Tammy ends up between Paisley and Artist until Tammy grabs hold of Artist, setting him up for a clothesline from Candido, but Arist ducks, then Tammy ducks and Candido nails Paisley instead. Artist knocks Candido out of the ring with a right hand while Tammy pulls Paisley away from the ropes, covers and gets the win in 1:55. Well that was... barely even a match if you can call it that.

Tammy and Candido celebrate and we cut to Sting in the back still looking for Vamp, then back to the ring for more celebrating. Sting makes his way out now and nails Candido with the Scorpion Deathdrop before taking a mic from ringside. He says it's showtime, then calls Vamp a punk, a little kid, a wimp, and says they need to have another conversation. He says Vamp learns quick but he wants him out there again tonight, challenging him to a First Blood Match. Sting's music hits again and he leaves while Tammy looks after Candido.

To the back, Kanyon is with Arquette and Page, who're giving Arquette a pep talk and says he's gonna kill Bischoff all intense-like before we go to commercial.

Back from break we see Sting laying out Caandido from before the break, then back to the arena for another match.

Team Package (w/ Elizabeth) vs KroniK

They waste no time going at it as... Hell I have no idea who's who in KroniK. Luger has the advantage in one corner briefly but Luger and Flair are getting beat down in no time. Ms. Hancock makes her way down almost immediately and Luger gets the advantage before sending one of the Brians to the outside with a clothesline while Ric works the other in the corner. Buff is out now and on the apron for a distraction and... the bell rang? Wait is this over? In 42 seconds? What the hell just happened?

Well Buff has a bat in hand but Liz grabs hold of it before he can use it, and Luger knocks him off the apron. Douglas comes in from behind and nails Ric in the back with the bat. KroniK pick Ric back up for High Time and.... Oh so the match wasn't over? Then why the hell did the bell ring? OK I guess KroniK wins in 1:22. Fucking hell what a mess.

Douglas continues the beatdown and now Buff beats down Luger with bats. Buff and Douglas hand KroniK bats to continue the beatdown but now they go after the tag champions, sending them out of the ring. KroniK's music hits as the champions leave and we to go Mean Gene in the back.

He's standing by with Vampiro, he says Sting is weak, old and whack, and would love nothing more than to stick his thumbs in Sting's eyes and watch him bleed like a stuffed pig, scream like bitch. He says Sting is entering his world, that he's sick and twisted and a little freaky. He says he's about to have a panic attack and can't stand things like this, and that like the spider said to the fly, to come into his web.

Then we cut to Bischoff, alongside Mike Awesome and Kimberly, as he's chewing out Kidman for the challenge he laid out earlier to Hogan, telling Kidman to leave it to him and Russo, then we go to commercial. We're only a third of the way through this show and it feels like an hours worth of shit has happened.

Back from break, Gene is with, well everyone from the last segment, and he asks Bischoff why Awesome is there. He says Hogan tried to kill Kidman last week, he's out of control, he's fried his circuits, so Awesome is here as protection. He's going to be partners with Kidman against Hogan, who has to find a partner, but he says Hogan's burned so many bridges that there isn't an ice cube's chance in hell that he'll find anybody to tag with him. Then he announces that Hogan and Kidman's match at Slamboree will have Eric act as the special guest referee. He mocks Hogan cupping his hand to his ear and says that it's the sound of his career coming to an end.

Back to the arena and... Oh I guess that match is now.

Mike Awesome & Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs Hulk Hogan & ???

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Tony gives us an update on Ric and Luger, saying that they've been taken to a medical facility following the attack from earlier while Kidman and Torrie come out, Kidman in a Hulkster shirt. Hogan's got a shirt with F.U.N.B. printed on the back, and Hogan yells into the camera that it stands for "Fuck You New Blood." 

Kidman and Awesome waste no time hammering away at Hogan as he slides into the ring, but Hogan gets up and knocks their heads together, sending Kidman to the outside. Hogan with right hands on Awesome then sends him over the ropes with a clothesline. Mike sent face first into the guard rail then back to the ring. More rights,sends Mike off the ropes into a clothesline. Hogan takes off the weight belt and cracks it across the back before he chokes Mike with it, with some rights added in. More shots with the belt, but Mike backs him in the corner, whips him across but Hogan gets the boot up as he follows, following with a back suplex. Choking by Hogan and he keeps scaring Kidman off the apron, while he keeps going after Mike with the belt. Now Mike with belt shots hammering away with the buckle, but Hulk hits a low blow ad a clothesline out of the corner. Mounted rights by Hogan now, then he tries to get Kidman but he hops off the apron, Mike now fights back with a shoulder to the gut, pushing Hogan into the corner. Kidman joins in to attack Hulk in the corner and drops Hogan. Elbow drop by Mike, cover and a near fall.

Hogan sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline and nails one of his own on both, Kidman rolling out. More rights by Hulk on Mike now, a windup sending him to the mat. 10 punch in the cornerby Hogan until Kidman attacks from behind, but Hogan takes him down with a right then a clothesline to the outside, then turns around into a right from Awesome. Mike off the ropes with a splash, cover and a 2 count. Mike whips Hulk with the belt now in the corner, but Hulk  fights out with a right, sends Mike off the ropes into a big boot. Scoop slam by Hulk and some elbow drops, before raking the face with his boot. 

Hogan tosses Mike out and follows, chops and rights, face first off the announce table and gets in Madden's face. More rights by Hogan  then into the ring post.  Mike rakes the eyes and tries to whip Hogan into the guard rail but gets reversed, but gets a thumb to the eye and Hulk turns into a chair shot, busting him open. Mike and Kidman now laying in with rights before sending him back in the ring. Kidman whips away with the belt now until he sends Mike out of the ring, who pulls a table out from under the ring and throws it in the ring. Mike sets up before sending Hulk through it with a powerbomb. 

Then we cut to the back where Nash notices what's going on from a monitor. Awesome takes another table out from under the ring and tosses it in while Kidman beats on Hogan. Table is set up again as Hulk stumbles around. Mike sets Hogan up on the table who mocks Hogan and splashes Hogan through the table. Then he rips off his Hogan shirt and mocks Hogan some more, off the ropes and nails a leg drop, makes the cover. This thing actually went 10:48, they really dragged this thing fucking on, and we've only just gone over the halfway point of the show.

Torrie kisses Hogan as Kidman and Awesome pose over, then Nash's music hits and out he comes. Mike goes after him and drops them both with rights. Nash goes to set up Mike for the Jackknife but Torrie nails a low blow, now Kidman and Mike stomping away at Nash. They pull Nash into the ring post and cracks a chair into Nash's ankle that was previously injured. Kidman and Awesome look on pleased as officials check on Nash.

To the back, Bischoff, Kimberly and Jarrett are walking to the ring, then we see Arquette on his way with Page and that match is next.

Back from the break we get a replay of Hogan being put through tables, then we go to the ring for the next... "match".

Eric Bischoff (w/ Kimberly & WCW Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett) vs David Arquette (w/ Diamond Dallas Page)

Jarrett distracts Arquette and Bischoff nails him from behind, sending David into the corner. Bischoff kicks and stomps and chokes Arquette before taunting the crowd. Arquette drops Bischoff with a spear, then he steals from Scotty 2 Hotty's playbook and does the Worm. Arquette makes the cover but Jarrett yanks the referee out of the ring. Page comes around and tries to take out Jarrett but he kills the referee with a clothesline. Jarrett nails Page with the title belt.

Jarrett slips into the ring with his guitar and Arquette tries to pull Bischoff up but gets nailed with a low blow. Eric pulls David up, primed and ready for Jarrett but Arquette gets free, Jarrett nailing Bischoff with the guitar to the head. Kanyon now rushes the ring and goes after Jarrett with rights in the corner, sending him out of the ring. Another referee rushes down as Arquette makes the cover and wins in 2:09. Can't believe I'm about to say this but that was actually the best part of this show so far, and now we have a World Title match set for the main event.

Kanyon, Arquette and Page celebrate  together and... The lights go out. Then he see Sting in the rafters before we go to commercial.

Back from break we see replays of the end to the last match. Then we see Arquette and Kanyon celebrating with champagne, with... I wanna say Major Guns for what's supposed to be an interview but it's just intense yelling form Kanyon and Arquette and terrible delivery of what lines she had from Gunns. Then we cut to Gene who's with Bischoff and Jarrett, Jarrett is pissed at Bischoff who says it wasn't his fault. Jarrett asks if he has a plan B, and Bischoff tells him to just go out there, defend and win, and puts blame on Jarrett for smashing him with the guitar. Jarrett storms out before we go to the arena. 

US Champion Steiner is out with a couple of ladies, while we get a replay of Booker screwing Steiner out of the World Title last week.  Steiner says that last night he had a couple of his freaks call him from New York City wanting the chance to ride a legend, a chance to roll with him, so at Club Caligula he says he was like a roller coaster going up and down, hitting switches on bitches til they called him the daddy, the Big Bad Booty Daddy. He says when he kicked them out the door at a quarter past four, they believed there was nothing finer than Scott Steiner. He says he went to New York for two reasons, the other being to find Booker T's "jive ass" for costing him the World Title last week. He says this week is his payback and he's going to do something special tonight, which is stick his size-12 so far up Booker's ass, that he'll be flossing with Steiner's shoelaces. He says he doesn't care if Booker's trying to get n the good side of Bischoff and Russo, the reality is he got on Steiner's bad side, and tells Booker to get his ass out there and that Rochester sucks.

Out comes Booker almost on cue and has his music cut immediately. He says this isn't Detroit, it's Rochester for a cheap pop, then says not to make what happened last week personal, that it was business. He says they had Jarrett running around backstage crying to Russo, trying to get out of his title match, Bischoff telling him to do something about it quick to get on his good side, and Steiner was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He says he's not apologizing for what he did, that he's his own man, and if they can't get along, they can get it on.

Booker steps in the ring and the girls approach Booker, telling them to get their hands on him because when you go black, you never go back. One of them slaps Booker and Steiner attacks off the distraction, hammering him in the corner. He goes to whip Booker across the ring but Booker pulls back into a side kick. Booker now with mounted right hand, then Steiner rolls and throws some rights and... It's cut off by commercial.

Back from break we do get footage of what happened at least, Steiner whipped into the guard rail before security separated them. Then we cut to DDP in the locker room with Kanyon and Arquette getting ready for his match tonight, hyping Page up. Then we cut to Russo who walks up to Shane and Buff visibly annoyed. Russo informs them they have to go back to the ring because they have a match against KroniK for the titles. They try to protest but Russo's having none of it.

WCW World Tag Team Championship: KroniK vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell (c) (w/ Vince Russo)

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: As Buff and Shane come out in street clothes, Schiavone announces that Booker vs Steiner for the US Title has been made for Slamboree. Russo joins commentary, oh joy.

Douglas and Bagwell try to get the jump but KroniK get the advantage in opposite corners. Bagwell gets tossed to the outside while Shane gets pushed into the corner. Chops and clubs to the back, but Shane reverses a whip off the ropes, Buff kicking Bryan in the back. Buff gets knocked on his ass with a right, and Shane nails a front suplex. 

Buff tagged in and stomps away at Bryan, but he kicks to the midsection. Clark with a chop, but gets sent off the ropes into a kick to the midsection, Buff off the ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Shane tagged in, Clark sent off the ropes into elbows, cover and a near fall. Rights by Shane that barely faze Clark until Shane thumbs him in the eye Clark reverses a whip off the ropes and catches Shane on his shoulder, Adams pulling Shane throat first across the top rope.

Buff and Adams tagged in, Adams clearing house, a full nelson slam on Buff, a cover and Shane pulls him off. Adams off the ropes with a right hand drops Shane to the mat. Shane sent off the ropes, KroniK catch him for High Time but Buff comes to and tosses the referee out before blocking the move. They toss Shane out of the ring and nail High Time on Buff as Russo leaves commentary. Adams makes the cover and whacks Adams in the back with the bat, celebrating prematurely as Clark looks on from behind. He goes for a pumphandle until Shane hits him in the back with the bat, then Adams. The ref is trying to break it up and call the match off bu then Russo nails him in the back with the bat. Buff makes the cover and Russo counts the pin, champions retain in 4:06. This was actually an alright match before all the bullshit started.

As the champs and Russo celebrate, Schiavone starts to tell us the World Title match is up next, but then we cut to Tank Abott walking backstage as we go to commercial.

Tank is out now and we see a replay of Tank assaulting Madden two weeks ago, then assault Bruce McArthur last week, then the NHL player stepping in. Tank gets a mic and says after 3 shows, Goldberg still hasn't shown his face, suggesting he change his name to Bill Ghostberg. He says while Goldberg sits at home with his yellow streak, he'll look into Tank's eyes and see a real warrior. He says he's going to kick someone's ass tonight because of Goldberg. Madden tries to hide behind Tony and Scott while they try to feed him to Tank and Tank leaves the ring. He starts walking around ringside, looking around and goes right to the announce table. He scares off a cameraman before he finds Bob Ryder from WCW.com at ringside, sending him into the ring. Tank nails a right hand and suddenly Borash is in the ring now on Tank's back, who quickly stands and slams Borash into the corner, then drops him with a right. Bill Banks in now and gets dropped with a right as security finally come out and Tank leaves, then we go to break.

Back from commercial it's time for our World Title match.

Steel Cage Match for the WCW World Championship: Diamond Dallas Page vs Jeff Jarrett (c) (w/ Vince Russo)

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: So because... reasons, this isn't the main event. We still have Sting vs Vampiro, and there's only 13:44 left in this show as Page is mid-entrance. This cage actually has a roof on it, which with all my criticisms of this company I like that, I'll give them that. Page had climbed the cage during his entrance and drops onto Jarrett as he tries to enter the cage, and the bell is rung as they fight at ringside.

Page with rights and throws Jarrett over the guard rail and fight through the crowd. Jarrett gets the advantage and slams a trash can over his back, then Page gets him with the can, then again, then over the guard rail near the entrance way. Page goes to whip Jarrett into the guard rail but he gets reversed. Page gets dropped chest first on the guard rail, then face first, then reverses a whip into the guard rail to regain the advantage. Page finally takes Jarrett into the cage.

Jarrett stomps away as the cage door gets locked, Page reverses a whip into the cage, then throws Jeff into it again. Jarrett gets catapulted into the corner into the cage before Page starts a 10 count, only for Jarrett to drop him face first into the top turnbuckle. Jarrett stomping away now then throws Page into the cage, then a second time. Jarrett stomping away some more before posing in the corner and stomping on the chest. Page now throws Jarrett into the corner, then whips him across the ring before dropping him with rights and a clothesline. 

Page calls for the Diamond Cutter as Awesome appears out of nowhere. Jarrett nails a DDT and now Jarrett picks Page up, he slips out and nails the Diamond Cutter. Awesome rips the door off and climbs in as Page makes the cover, but Kanyon is close behind. Awesome stops the count, then Kanyon pulls Mike off the ref and throws him into the cage, and the ref... just continues the count. Page is your new World Champion in 4:59. Eh, it was an alright match. Nothing special.

The cage is raised as Kanyon hands the title to Page and Arquette joins them to celebrate, while Russo is pissed. Page goes out to the crowd with Arquette and Kanyon to celebrate as we go to commercial.

Back from break we go to replays of the World Title finish, and now it's time for the main event with 5 minutes to spare.

First Blood Match: Vampiro vs Sting

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Sting rappels from the rafters but he has trouble with the harness, allowing Vampiro to attack and send Sting into the ring to start this match.

Rights by Vamp, then Sting fights back, send Vamp to the outside with a clothesline over the ropes. Vamp back in, Sting immediately stomps away, then tosses him out again. Sting with more rights and rakes the eyes, then a suplex out of the corner, then Vamp is tossed out again. Vamp climbs the announce table and does the throat cut motion, then two thumbs down, and "blood" pours from the sky onto Sting. Holy crap there is a hug puddle of this stuff, Vamp hit the Nail in the Coffin. Now Kidman, Candido, Douglas and Bagwell have hit the ring to continue the beatdown, then Steiner and they pull him out, beating away at Sting. They pull him to the aisle and hook Sting to his harness, sending him into the rafters drenched in this red. So this match ends in... I don't no, no contest? Or is this a win for Vampiro? In 3:39, and the show fades out.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Fucking hell this show was a mess, both figuratively and literally. Honestly the only two brights spots were the Steiner/Booker promo, Arquette/Bischoff and the World Title match and I don't think they made up even a third of this show. Not to mention the Hogan match went longer than it needed to that could have been used on the World Title match and that bizarre main event that had no business being in the main event. Then there's the fact that the only match on this show with a clean finish was the mess of  a mixed tag and everything felt so damn rushed. (sigh) And despite all this, this show will still be an improvement on Thunder. That said, with a runtime of 1:30:47, there was a total 31 minutes of wrestling on this show.

WCW Thunder

We get a recap video of Nitro, before we get the show's opening package and pyro, where we're live from the Oncenter War Memorial Arena in Syracuse, New York. Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby "the Brain" Heenan are on commentary for this show, and we go outside to Eric and co. and arriving and manhadling Arquette, dragging him out to the arena, throwing him around and down to the ring.

It seems Arquette was snatched up at the hotel, and Jarrett says David's been real busy the last few hours, that he stepped into his world on Monday, and tonight he's going to be all up in David's world. He says he's going to continue to beat David's 1-800 ass until Page shows his trailer park trash face, threatening to snap his neck like a twig and Page comes out with Kanyon.

Jarrett stops him halfway up the aisle, saying he's got something that belongs to Jarrett. He says he's not leaving that miserable town until the title is back around his waist, and tonight is revenge of the New Blood, and no better way to get it started with a tag match, between he and Bischoff, and Page and Arquette, with Page's World Title on the line.

Page gets a mic and says screw you to Jarrett, who then lets go of Arquette and throws it back at Page, and tells him to turn around, where Douglas and Bagwell are standing by the entrance. Jeff tells him it's either Arquette or his ass, and leaves it up to Page. Then Flair and Luger, who've made a miraculous recovery from Monday appear behind them and they start going at it. Bischoff and Jeff escape with Arquette hostage, while Page slides in the ring, blocked Kimberly's escape. They start arguing inaudibly and she slaps him across the face. Page catches her in a headlock seemingly to go for a Diamond Cutter but he decides to let her go. He goes to leave but she comes up behind and nails a low blow, dropping him to the mat, then makes her exit. If it weren't for where this leads to I could've given this segment a pass, but I can't.

To commentary who recap what just happened, then remind us that we'll here from Bret later on. Heenan says Bret hit Hogan because it's Hogan, and that everyone should hit him with a chair, that he needs it. Tony then announces that Sting is set to face the Wall in a Tables Match before we send it to Mean Gene in the back.

He's standing by with the Cat, asking about Bigelow, and Cat just goes on dancing. He tells Gene that there's two things you never do: stop him from dancing or touch his James Brown CD collection. Um, OK. Cat says he doesn't care about Bigelow, calling him a dirty snake, and suggests Gene was in on it when Bigelow attacked him at Spring Stampede. Gene mentions that Russo and Bischoff are not happy with Cat for what he did on Monday, costing the New Blood that Hardcore Title. Cat says he's not worried about them, that the only thing he's worried about is Bigelow's mom coming out to get in the ring. He says he's going to take care of his business and that it's Gene's cute to get out. Then we go to break.

Back from commercial, Jarrett, Kimberly and Bischoff are in the boiler room it looks like with Arquette and tell him it's gonna be a long night. Bischoff tries to be witty with a 1-800-having fun yet line and they just laugh.

Then we go to footage from Spring Stampede when Bigelow attacked Cat prior to his US Title tournament match with Awesome, then Cat interfering in Bigelow's match with Awesome, then Cat costing Bigelow the Hardcore Title on Monday. Now Cat makes his way out to the ring for our next match.

Ernest "the Cat" Miller vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Cat has Bigelow's music cut mid-entrance, and wants Bigelow to know this isn't between the two of them, and asks for forgiveness. He says it hurt him every time he had to walk down the aisle, to kick Bigelow in his fat... er, face as he corrects himself, but it was payback. He says Bigelow is his hero, that he looks up to him, but when he attacks him from behind, he had no other choice. He tells Bigelow not to be a chump and let management send out a different chump to beat to death. Bigelow goes to leave, but Cat says he saw his mom out back and Bigelow's breasts are bigger than hers. This obviously sets off Bigelow and he enters the ring to start the match.
Cat ducks a clothesline and hits Bigelow with some rights, but Bigelow fights back with a headbutt, sending Cat off the ropes and launching him up, sending him to the mat. Ms. Hancock has come down to ringside while Bigelow stomps away, then a back body drop. Bigelow rolls out and grabs a chair before getting back in the ring. The ref takes the chair away from Bigelow causing a distraction and Cat hits the Feliner, a standing side kick, makes the cover and wins in 1:09.

Cat celebrates and cances as Bigelow recovers, then nails a clothesline, Bigelow showing a few moves before leaving.
2
To the back, Kidman and Torrie arrive in a Z3. Then we cut to Page looking around backstage for Arquette, then we go to commercial.

Back from break, we cut to the boiler room where Eric tells Arquette to escape, only for Jarrett to stop him immediately, followed by Eric's laughter.

Back to the arena for our next match.

Sean "the Perfect One" Stasiak vs Chris "Champagne" Kanyon
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We see footage from last week's Nitro where Stasiak beat Henning. Henning decides to join commentary for this match as the bell is rung.
Quick back and forth to start the match, Sean gets the advantage on a hip toss. Another lock up, Sean gets the upperhand again with a fireman's carry this time. Sean spends time posing in the corner and Kanyon takes advantage with a roll up for a 2 count. Rights by Kanyon sends Sean down, but gets reversed only to connect with a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon sent into the corner with rights and stomp, choking with Sean's boot, followed by a scoop slam. Henning tells us he's brought brass knuckles with him but says he won't use hi and he doesn't need to use em.
Sean goes up top and nails a nice crossbody, then taunts Henning. Curt leaves the table as Kanyon sends Sean off the ropes, clocks Sean in the back of the head with the brass knuckles and Kanyon hits a reverse STO for the win 2:38. The match wasn't too bad given how short it was, but once again, interference.

Henning slips in the ring and kicks Sean in the ribs, talking some trash and down comes Mike Awesome, Kanyon sending him in the ring. Awesome hits a German suplex while Henning talks trash in the corner. Awesome with an ax handle off the apron to the back and powerbombs Kanyon through the announce table. Henning had hit Sean with the Perfectplex with the bridge for... reasons ans Awesome slides in to help out Sean. DDP out now. Awesome sacrifices Sean and DDP hits a Diamond Cutter as he escapes, then goes out to check on Kanyon. Then he gets a mic and calls out to Eric and Jarrett and accepts their challenge, helping Kanyon up and heads to the back.

Cut to Kidman and Torrie in the back on their way to the ring before we go to commercial.

Back from break we get replays of what just happened, then Kidman and Torrie make their way out. We get a replay of Kidman and Awesome taking Hogan apart on Nitro, and Kidman rips his shirt off. Of all people Marc Mero is front row with Ray Rinaldi as Kidman gets a mic and says it's real simple, that the legend is dead, that nobody could put Hogan out of the business before he came along. He says interview after interview Hogan dogged him, buried him, said he couldn't draw in a flea market, then claims the people love him and that he's drawing, they idolize him, and the man they want their kids to be like. He says Hogan's red and yellow ass is laid up in Tampa in a hospital bed because he put him there. He tells the fans not to worry because even though his victim tonight isn't Hulk Hogan, he's issuing an open challenge to anyone who thinks they can swat this flea. Torrie actually speaks and says she can't wait to make... er, see Kidman sweat, but will love to give the kiss of death. So who accepts the challenge? Well Hogan's music hits but it's his newphew:

Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs Horace Hogan
Kidman wastes no time hammering away at Horace in the corner, but Horace reverses a whip, Kidman leaps up and over and catches Horace around the neck, only to be crotched on the top rope, followed by a clothesline, sending Kidman to the outside. Chops and stomps, then Kidman dropped chest first on the guard rail. Back in the ring, Kidman whipped across the ring into the corner and Horace follows, but Kidman hits him with an elbow, then dropped with a boot before being clotheslined back to the outside.
Kidman whipped into the guard rail, more rights by Horace, but Kidman moves out of the way as Kidman charges at him, then whipped into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Kidman mocks Hogan cupping his hand to his ear before stomping away, Horace sent off the ropes, only to be caught with a clothesline. Kidman sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a nice hurricanrana. More rights by Kidman followed by a snapmare and an elbow, then Kidman goes up top but misses a splash. Horace with rights, Kidman sent off the ropes into a powerslam, and right on cue out comes Bischoff. Kidman whipped into the corner and dropped with a gorilla press. Powerbomb by Horace and he grabs a chair from ringside, across the back of Kidman. Kidman sent off the ropes, ducks a back elbow and catches Horace with a sunset flip, bit Horace catches and pulls him back up with a Baldo Bomb. Horace goes under the ring and pulls out a table, setting it up at ringside. Horace on the apron, he goes to suplex Kidman from the ring through the table but Torrie climbs the apron for a low blow. Hotace grabs hold of her, then Bischoff slides in, takes the chair and kicks the referee before cracking Horace in the head. Kidman with a... I guess a Dudley Dog on Horace through the table, Kidman lays on Horace, Bischoff makes the fast count because... he can do that? And Kidman wins in 5:34. This was actually a fairly good match until once again the bullshit started.

Torrie kisses Horace as Kidman recovers, then we cut to the back where Tank is headed to the ring and we go to commercial.

Back from break, Tank makes his way out with mic in hand. A small Goldberg chant starts and he says if they're going to chant his name to chant it right, Ghostberg. He says Ghostberg isn't here, and that he's been in more fights than everyone in the building put together and loved everyone of them, and they cheer for a coward. He asks which idiot is going down tonigh, and says it's on Bill. He heads over to commentary but walks past over toward Dave Penzer, then keeps walking. Oh that's why Marc Mero's here, who stands up to Tank. Rinaldi and Marc hop the guard rail, Mero ready for a fight. Tank goes after Rinaldi, then Tank and Mero start going at it, but security break em up. 

Then we cut to the back where Sting is arriving and... I spent a good minute laughing at the absurdity of this, because in the 2 days since Nitro, Sting apparently hasn't showered or changed because he walks in the building still drenched in "blood" in his attire from Monday's Nitro, I mean who the hell thought this was a good idea? Then we go to commercial.

Back from break Page finds Arquette in the boiler room and they leave. To the arena for our net match.

Tables Match: The Wall vs Sting
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Tables have been set up around the ring. Sting walks out without much energy, in like a trance as we see what happened on Monday, and they play this as the bell is rung.
Sting hits a dropkick, then an atomic drop before sending Wall to the outside. Wall with rights, picks Sting up to try an slam him through a table but Sting slips free, Wall rolling over it to the floor. Sting back in the ring, Wall on the apron and Sting with rights and shoulders. Sting goes for a sunset flip and I don't know if it's because of how slippery he is or just a screw up but he slips and falls as he lands on the floor. Sting does manage to powerbomb Wall through the table and it's over in 1:31. I mean there's really nothing to say here.

Sting gets his hand raised and Wall is up almost immediately, and Vamp appears out of nowhere. They start to beat down Sting, whipped into the corner and Wall whipped into him, now Sting fights out and starts handing out elbows and rights. Stinger Splash on Vamp and sent him to the outside. Wall tries to come in again but Sting knocks him back out, leaving him standing tall.

Russo and the tag champs are walking backstage  and we go to commercial.

Back from break, Sting is walking backstage in some kind of trance and leaves the arena.

Then to the arena where Russo and the tag champions make their way out to the ring, Russo with bat in hand. Russo's got a mic and says he wants to make one thing clear, that upstate Rochester is not a part of New York, that that dump might as well be Iowa. Buff cuts in and makes sure to clarify that that place just sucks, and speaking of sucking, he's sick and tired of hearing about the Total Package for years and years, but it only seems to come out of Luger's mouth. He says at Slamboree, he's gonna show Lex he's Buff and he's the stuff. 

Douglas calls out to Flair now and says for 25 years these people have heard every wrestling interview that Flair's shot off from his big mouth. He says this might not sound like an interview, because it's a damn shoot. Oh boy.  He says at Slamboree, he finally gets what he's waited his entire career for, Flair's ass delivered to him on a silver platter to get his ass franchised. 

Flair's music hits now and out he comes with Luger and Elizabeth. Russo pipes up first and says he anticipated this, and calls on security to give protection at ringside. Flair says Russo's made a mistake tonight, letting Flair talk, that's good for him and bad for Russo. He says he can't talk for Hogan, but can say this for him, that if he can concede his place and greatness in this sport, than Kidman damn well better, that Hogan is the man. He says Hogan is the white collar champion, then says he can talk to Russo and co about legendary status between himself, Sting and Luger. He says since '85, Sting's been going, then he imitates Luger a bit, then he does some strutting, because they've bled, sweat the business, and '85, '86, '87, 40 days, 40 nights, Wargames. Blood, sweat, they've partied all night, got up the next day, got on a jet, went to the next town because they were the blood of the sport, not New Blood, Old Blood, the blood. They made those people love wrestling. They earned the respect, and all they wanted to do was be the best they can be on any given night, and says to ask the fans because they were, and that's why they're still there, and it drives Russo nuts. He calls Russo a mark, for the business and Ric Flair, for Luger, for Sting. He goes to Douglas and says the last time he looked, and says the last time he looked, the only Franchise in WCW was Sting. He says until he's wrestled Kerry von Erich, at Texas Stadium (god rest his soul), in front of 50,000 people, or Bruiser Brody (god rest his soul), or Piper, Hogan, Sting, Bret, Luger, he can never be Flair. He says he's pissed away more money on bar tabs than all three of them will ever make and he'll do it again tonight, and drinks are on the house courtesy of the Nature Boy. He says at Slamboree, he points up and says they're not spotlights, they're stars shining on them, and if he wants to touch greatness, then lets see how big Russo's cajones are. He says the only way Douglas gets to touch greatness is if Russo promises that if he interferes in the match, then Flair gets him for 5 minutes at Slamboree.

Russo says this is the part of the show where he's supposed to be the chicken shit heel, but loves the idea, because when the night is over, he will own Flair. He says he's not Wahoo or Dusty, he's Vince Russo and it is his time. He says he will own Slick Dick because he's got the big apples. 

Luger cuts in and says he's listened to that slime ball enough, and will get to him in a second, but turns to Buff first, asking if he's the same punk riding in the back seat behind himself and Sting wanting a ride to the building, wanting a rollaway bed to save on expenses, calling out and challenging 6'4", 270, 4% body fat at Slamboree and accepts the challenge. Then he says he's sick and tired of Russo, when he addresses a legendary figure in the sport, now and always will be in Flair, to put a tone of respect in his voice or he comes down and punch his Big Apple New York teeth down his throat. 

Russo says he's happy Luger survived that fatal car crash known as the Lex Express. If it weren't for the fact it's a WWF thing  and desperation on Russo's part I'd actually give him credit for this line, but it just kind of looks pathetic. Then he says Lex is really starting to piss him off, because he'll never have a body like Luger's, and that there's plenty of people who think he'll never have a woman like Liz on his arm. He says this past week he was going through the WCW contracts and found something very interesting, which is that Luger doesn't own Liz's contract, WCW does, which means he owns Liz, she's his property. He tells security to walk up the ramp, grab Liz and bring her to Russo now. 

Lex says it'll be over his dead body and they lay out security before rushing the ring through security. Russo has escaped and grabbed Liz up the ramp to the back and we go to commercial. God that thing dragged on too long. Not to say it was all that terrible either, the highlight was Ric's intense, rambling promo in classic Flair fashion.

Back from break, we see footage during the break where Liz has been tossed in a car with Russo and they leave. Then we go to DDP bringing a beaten up Arquette to a doctor but he refuses help and walks away before we go back to the arena for our next match.

Tammy Sytch (w/ WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Chris "Hard Knox" Candido) vs Paisley (w/ The Artist)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Tammy gets a mic and says she bets everyone's wondering what she's wearing under her robe, or more importantly what she isn't wearing. She says unlike that tease Paisley, she knows what the men come to see, and now she's gonna give it to them, which is tiny shorts and a busty top. Then Paisley and the Artist make their way out. 
Tammy with headlock and a push down. Paisley pulls her down by the hair. They roll around before pushing Tammy into the corner, then Tammy with the eye gouge before choking her over the middle rope. Tammy starts to choke Paisley with her wrist tape, now Candido starts to choke Paisley while Tammy distracts the ref. Paisley with a low blow, but Sunny hits a stunner. Tammy goes up top and takes out the referee and Artist with a crossbody to the outside. Candido in the ring after Paisley, she ducks into a split and low blows Candido. Tammy in from behind, whipped across the ring, Paisley with a handspring back elbow, a cover but Candido pulls her off. Artist after Candido as Tammy goes up, but Artit crotches her. Paisley kips up but Tammy slaps her. Tammy I think goes for a Northern Lights but Paisley hits a DDT, covers and wins in 3:22. That shouldn't have gone 3 minutes, but it wasn't the worst thing I've seen. 

Candido checks on Tammy as Paisley and Artist do their thing. Candido drops Artist with a DDT and Tammy jumps on Paisley with some terrible looking punches. Candido pulls her off and raises her arm, holding her head as she leans against the ropes.

We go to the back where Gene is standing by with Booker in the locker room. He says at Nitro Steiner ran his mouth off, and he did what he had to do, shut him up, put him in his place, and at Slamboree he's going to find out exactly what Booker is all about. Suddenly Major Gunns enters and says she wanted to help with the interview, maybe get some pointers from Gene. Booker isn't pleased wondering what the hell she's doing there, and she says she just wants to ask a few questions. She asks what his plans are for Mike Awesome tonight, and he says it's the first good question she's asked since she's been here. He says if Mike plays it straight he just might make it, then leaves.

Then we cut to Steiner with a couple ladies, and one of them points to the monitor, saying Booker's on there. Booker leaves as Booker's match is next.

Back from break, Arquette is with Page in the back, Arquette complaining about his ribs. Page insist Arquette can't go out there, but he insists it doesn't matter, and he can take Bischoff and Page ccan't stop him, then walks away, Page follows.

Booker vs Mike Awesome
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get a replay of Booker costing Steiner the World Title last week on Nitro, and then their fight 2 days ago on Nitro. Steiner makes his way out after Awesome gets tot he ring, alongside those two ladies from earlier and he joins commentary. Oh this should be fantastic.
Quick back and forth to start things off, Mike gets the advantage with a belly to belly catching Booker off a leapfrog attempt. Scoop slam and a leg drop by Awesome, cover and a kick out. Awesome goes to send Booker off the ropes but he pulls back and knees Awesome in the midsection, off the ropes and a spin kick. Mike off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and Booker takes him out with a crossbody, then sends Awesome to the outside. 
Booker off the apron with an ax handle, only to be whipped into the guard rail. Awesome slams a chair down onto Booker, then whips him into the steel steps before rolling him back in the ring. Awesome up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a near fall. Booker whipped into the corner and Mike follows with a clothesline and an elbow drop to the back, cover and a 2 count. Rear chinlock now on Booker, wearing him down, he gets his arm raised once, twice, but Booker starts to come to on three, getting back up only for Awesome to slam him back down. Back up again, , then down again. Back up, club to the back, he goes to send Booker off the ropes but he pulls back and hits a back suplex. Booker ducks a clothesline and kicks Mike in the midsection to nail the ax kick. Mike sent off the ropes into a flap jack and a spinaroonie by Booker. Steiner leaves commentary and sprints over as Booker goes up top, belt in hand and cracks him in the back of the head. Mike picks him up and nails the Awesome Bomb for the win in 5:15. Again another fairly good match and again more interference.

Steiner in now and Awesome leaves, as he applies the Recliner. For some reason Lash Leroux runs down to help Booker, then Chavo... Oh god, right... Awesome is back in and Hugh Morrus now on Steiner, then Van Hammer, Booker with some side kicks and they chase away Steiner and Awesome. Booker is confused as anyone watching this, and I forgot about this whole thing. We get a replay of the ending moments of the match as Booker's music hits.

Up next, we see the interview with Bret about the chair shot from last week's Nitro. 

Back from break, we go right to the interview, where Scott Hudson is sitting with Bret, asking why he hit Hogan with the chair. He says that anyone that knows him knows, like everything he's tried to accomplish, everything he's done in the business, to be the best there is, was, ever will be. He says Hogan stopped him from beating him, he ran from him, ducked him, and cost him what he wanted most, which was a win over Hogan. He says it's rather convenient that Hogan shows up as soon as he's gone. 

Scott brings up what happened with Hogan in the early '90s, alludes to the Screwjob by mentioned Vince and Shawn, and suggest he's susceptible to mind games, and asks if it's just mind games from Hogan or if he's really afraid of Bret. Bret says Hogan must be afraid, to have been the man in wrestling for so long, and asks why two of the biggest names have never fought, why there's never been a match, that it wasn't because he was afraid, that Hogan knew that when it came down to technical wrestling, the one guy who could take everything Hogan's got and still get up, that technical wrestling could beat him, that's Hogan's weakness. He says he's the one guy who would have beat Hogan when he was Hulkamania running wild, he would have beat him then and now, under any circumstances that he could have created.

Scott brings up how Bret felt that Hogan held him back in the early '90s in the WWF and attaining the peak of his goals in the company. Bret talks about passing the torch, about how Andre passed it back to Hogan, and when it came time for Hogan to pass it to him, he ran off to WCW, and says he came to WCW for Hulk Hogan. 

Scott asks Bret to cite an example of when Hulk held Bret back in WCW since his arrival. Bret says he's relied on Bischoff, a friend of his since his arrival, responsible for him coming and he had promise him Hogan, and I guess Bischoff told him it was all Hogan's fault and Bret believes him, that Hogan derailed any idea that ever came across the table.

Scott talks up Bret's beautiful home, in the shadow of the Rockies and asks if it feels more like a prison. Bret says he's been frustrated for a long time, he'll sit down and write his column, find the words to express how he feels and can't help but picture Hogan's face, and he has to stop and clear his head. He says he'll go to a hockey game and everything will be great until someone comes up and asks how things are in WCW and it starts again, he can't find peace. He says this is more personal than anybody has any idea, and he will make Hogan pay and pay and pay, and he'll be so sorry that he never had the guts to step in the ring and settle it like a man, and since they're not going to openly be men about it, it's fine with him. 

Scott says he knows that Bret doesn't want to be forced out due to injury, and wants to go out on his own terms, and asks what those terms are. He says if he can visualize his final quest in wrestling it would be taking Hogan, putting his legs through in the Sharpshooter, turning him over, and waiting for that sweet sound of him screaming out that he's had enough. 

Up next, the World Title is on the line in the main event and we Jarrett and Bischoff heading to the ring. Then we go to Page talking to Arquette in the back, telling him he's not coming to the ring. Arquette finally agrees, at least to Page but he soon walks off behind Page as we go to break.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Jarrett & Eric Bischoff vs Diamond Dallas Page (c) & David Arquette
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Schiavone makes it clear that the man who gets the pinfall will be the champion in this match. Arquette does come out as expected and we get a replay of Page winning the title on Monday. Page asks Penzer where the ref is, and out comes Kimberly as the special guest referee for this match.
Page and David immediately go after Jarrett and Bischoff, Arquette taking Bischoff to the outside as Jarrett reverses a whip off the ropes and Arquette sends Bischoff face first into the guard rail, then sends Arquette into the guard rail. Page and Jarrett have gone out of the ring as Arquette and Bischoff fight up the aisle and to the back. Back to the ring, Page hits a swinging neckbreaker and Kimberly takes her time to get in position to start the slow count, Jarrett kicks out at 1.
Page with rights and lefts, but Jarrett reverses a whip off the ropes, but Page catches him and hits a sitout powerbomb. Kimberly takes so much time Jarrett kicks out before the count is even started. Page goes after Kimberly and Jarrett attacks from behind, sends him off the ropes and Page flips over into a sunset flip, but Jarrett stands his ground. Jarrett with a right drops on top of Page and Kimberly starts the fast count, but Page reverses in time for a pin of his own, Jarrett again kicking out before the count starts, then plants him with a DDT, cover and fast count with a near fall.
Bischoff makes his way back out and says Arquette's all gone. Jarrett stomps away and tags in Bischoff, sends Page of the ropes and kicks to the midsection, more kicks in the corner. Jarrett tagged in with rights in the corner and stomps. Bischoff tagged in again, Page sent off the ropes and drops them with clotheslines. He rights and Arquette wander back out. Page goes for the Diamond Cutter but Page slips out and sends Page toward Kimberly, liplocking her. Arquette hits Bischoff with the spear and Jarrett clocks Page with the title belt. Arquette and Jarrett make their respective covers but Arquette makes his first as another referee runs down, and Arquette wins the damn title in 3:47.

They even give him pyro as Arquette celebrates, and Schiavone is losing his shit right now, unable to comprehend it. Fans start to pelt the ring with garbage as Bischoff looks around in disbelief. Page and Arquette leave the ring and head out through the crowd to celebrate some more and we go to replays of the closing moments. More celebrating through the crowd and the show fades out.

OVERALL THOUGHTS
Fuck me. It's bad enough we got that... that, the rest of the show didn't even come close to making up for it. We still have another week of this too until Slamboree. Once again everything felt rushed none of these matches went past five minutes except one, this was just a shit shot. Hell the only match on this show with a clean finish was the one minute match with Cat and Bigelow. As a final cherry on top of this shit cake, with a runtime of 1:30:02, this show only had 23:16 of wrestling.