Week 4 - Go-Home Week to Slamboree

WCW Nitro
We open strangely enough with Courtney Cox trying to talk sense to her husband in what looks like a studio parking lot, and there he sits with his World Title, and he just boasts that he's the champion. Then we get a recap of the events from Thunder. Then we see a car pulling into the arena, who're cut off by a limo, with Arquette, Kanyon and Page in the former, and Russo, Jarrett and Awesome in the latter. They start arguing and the only audible part is Jarrett saying "We're going to treat you like a champion" to Arquette. Then another car comes out of nowhere and nearly runs them over, ramming into the side of the limosine instead and out steps Hogan, and a major fight breaks out until security rushes to try and pull it apart.

To the arena, Schiavone welcomes us to the show, live from the Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center in Birmingham, Alabama, joined by Mark Madden and Scott Hudson for commentary and we go right to our first match.

Hardcore Match(?): Crowbar vs "Screamin'" Norman Smiley (w/ Mystery Partner for Slamboree)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I guess this is a hardcore match, because Norman comes out with a trash can with lid and... some kind of handle. His mystery partner has some kind of mascot head on him so no idea who it is, the only reason I know it's his mystery partner is commentary point it out, and that he'd be revealed tonight.
Crowbar goes right after Norman from behind as his partner climbs in the ring, Norman sent off the ropes into a spinning back elbow. Crowbar manages to wedge the giant mascot head and partner between the ropes to trap him before sending Norman into the corner, who goes up and over, only for Crowbar to throw the trash can at his head. Norman catches him with a scoop slam though onto the trash can. Crwbar tossed over the ropes, but skins the cat and takes Norman to the outside with a headscissor.
Norman sent into the guard rail now, then a second time, then he hits the mascot head with a trash can lid for... reasons. Norman nails Crowbar from behind with a chair. Norman sets up two chairs and whips Crowbar into them, sending him tumbling, covers but Crowbar kicks out. Norman tries to charge Crowbar with the lid but he gets the boots up, who then charges the lid into his face. Crowbar with a splash off the apron onto Norman, covers but it's a near fall. 
Norman with another chair as Crowbar slips into the ring, charges toward the ropes but Norman throws the chair into his head. Crowbar with a low blow with a kendo stick, then a Big Wiggle on the mystery partner. Norman cracks Crowbar in the back with the kendo stick now and gives him a Big Wiggle. Crowbar sent off the ropes and they collide midair with a crossbody each. Few back and forth rights before Crowbar starts clubbing, then pulls off Norman's shirt and delivers a clothesline. Here we are 4 minutes into the match and the mystery partner finally pulls himself free, takes the kendo stick, but Crowbar blinds him with the shirt and cracks it over the mascot head, then throws the trash can at him.
Scoop slam on Norman now, Crowbar goes up top but Norman crotches him, then goes for a back suplex but Crowbar turns midair into a crossbody. Norman trips over his partner, then accidentally gets Crowbar in a sunset roll up for the win in 4:58. This was just stupid and a mess.

Norman and his partner embrace briefly, then we go to commentary, who tells us Arquette is in the building and has something to say concerning the title. Then we go to the back where Page, Arquette and Kanyon are walking through the hallway. rquette says it's been fun but he doesn't deserve to be the champion, and hopes he can just give it back, that he has a movie to film, and they walk off.

Then we cut to Jarrett, Bischoff, Russo and Kimberly walking through the hallway, talking about... something. Then we see Team Package arriving, Flair saying they have to think something out to get Liz back, since Russo will have a trap set. 

Then we go to... Wait, now I'm confused, why are we doing pre-taped vignettes with Arquette and Courtney when he's there in the arena? And these segments are completely contradicting each other, because here he is on the movie set excited to be champion, and tells her not to worry. Then Kurt Russell walks up to say they have a scene to film, and Courtney asks if he knew David was WCW Champion. Kurt just laughs and walks off. David just grabs a nearby chair and goes after Kurt off camera, while Courtney screams that he's not a wrestler. As stupid and contradictory as this all is, that actually made me laugh.

Back from break, we have Sean Stasiak doing a Mr. Perfect type vignette, where he's going to attempt to break the free throw record tonight. Then we go back to the arena, where out come Arquette, Page and Kanyon. Arquette gets mic and a cheap pop, and apparently it's Courtney's home town. He says it's a dream come true to have the belt, and the last week has been amazing, but the best part is how the fans have treated him. He says that he understands he's an entertainer though, not a sports entertainer, and after talking to Page and Kanyon, he's here to relinquish the title, that he doesn't deserve it, that Page or even Booker deserves it, and put the vacant title up at Slamboree. 

They go to leave, but Jarrett's music cuts them off, and out he comes with Bischoff, Russo and Kimberly, plus Liz led by handcuffs by security. Jarrett asks who died and made Arquette commissioner, then calls him Slappy, and that they make the rules, not him. He says he sees things a lot differently then Arquette does, that since Arquette decided to cross that line, step into the ring, be a sports entertainer, that's exactly how his slap ass is going to be treated. 

Bischoff butts in and agrees that Arquette never should have stepped in the ring, but he did, and now he's WCW World Champion, like it or not, and it's time he acts like one. He says at the request of Jarrett, he and Russo have agreed that at Slamboree in the triple cage that everyone's talking about, Arquette's skinny little rear end is going to be in the ring with Jarrett and DD-Puke in a "triple dance."

Suddenly, Package has rushed down and immediately goes to get Liz, but security take her over the guard rail and off he chases. Bischoff pipes back up and thinks Arquette needs a warm-up to get ready for Slamboree, so tonight he's got a match with Tank Abbott. Bischoff cackles as Tank makes his way out. Page pipes up and quips that Bischoff doensn't even have to work at being an asshole, saying Arquette is not getting in the ring with Tank.  

Tank has the mic now and tells Page to stay out of their business, but Page tells him he's not talking to him, and Tank tells him to step up or shut up. Page calls him a billy goat and tells him to shut him up, so Tank charges him into the corner, while Kanyon and Jarrett go at it, and Bischoff immediately after Arquette. Security rush down to break things up while the crowd chant Goldberg. Tank says he's take Page on tonight, with an added stip: If Page wins, his Hollywood punk boy gets off easy, but if Tank wins, Arquette dies because he's going to tear his head off. Seems like Page accepts it as security holds them off and they head to the back.

We go to the back where Luger is kicking and throwing things around looking for Liz, then we go to commercial.

Then we go back to Stasiak doing the Henning thing. Then to Bischoff who's with Hugh Morris. Eric asks him why they call him the Knute freaking Rockne of professional wrestling. He says it's because he knows what teamwork is all about, and tonight, Hugh is going to learn that too. He announces that he, Jarrett and Steiner will face off in a three-way dance, and if anyone from Misfits in Action interfere, he's going to fire every one of them on the spot. 

Then to the arena, we go to Wall mid-entrance for our next match.

Tables Match: The Wall vs Horace Hogan
Wall wastes no time meeting Horace in the aisle to try for a cheap shot, but Horace gets some in instead, only for Wall to rake the eyes, then some knees to the ribs. Horace reverses a whip into the guard rail then delivers a boot to the head followed by more right hands. Knees to the ribs and rights by Wall now before throwing Horace into the ring. Wall goes up top but Horace crotches him before nailing a draping DDT off the top rope. Death valley driver by Horace before sliding out of the ring.
Ms. Hancock makes her way down now as Horace grabs a table and slides it into the ring, setting it up. Horace tries for a suplex, but Kidman stops him, only to be tossed out of the ring, and Wall nails a boot off the distraction. Horace gets chokeslammed through the table to give Wall the win in 2:22. I mean for as little time as it got, it was alright for what it was. Again though, the constant interference.

Wall and Kidman stomp away before Wall delivers a backbreaker, then Kidman comes off the top with an elbow drop. Hogan's music hits and out he comes, Kidman and Wall making a quick escape. Mike Awesome comes in with a club from behind, but Hogan turns around with some right hands, then for Wall and Kidman as they slide back in, until Awesome drops him, stomping away. Wall slides a table into the ring now as the timekeeper rings the bell incessantly. Awesome goes up top but Hogan's back up, laying in with some rights. He tries for a superplex before Kidman clubs him in the back. Awesome goes for a sunset flip powerbomb through the table, but I don't know if Hogan hangs on or if he just doesn't have the momentum, but it doesn't go through in one solid motion like it should have. 

We suddenly cut to a black and white feed of a graveyard, where Vampiro appears from behind a tombstone, who tells Sting that the graveyard is his dream, their dream, his home, then asks Sting to come and play, but knows that he will, that he wants to, and knows curiosity killed the scorpion, then goes to commercial. God, Vamp cuts these awkward fucking promos.

Back from break, Russo comes out with Liz dragged behind him by security and bat in hand. He gets a mic and calls out to Lex, saying he's going to make this short and sweet. He says he doesn't sweat Lex and isn't going to hide from him, so he's out there to call Lex out to the ring and promises to Rack his ass, before they all leave the ring. While commentary talk about how insane Russo is, Jarrett's music plays for our next match.

Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Steiner (WCW United States Champion) vs Hugh Morrus
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Commentary tell us that Tank vs DDP will be at the top of the hour, which should be up after this match. They also announce that Sting vs Vampiro in a Graveyard Match is now set for later tonight. As Steiner makes his way out, he grabs a sign that reads "Big Poppa Pump Sucks" and brings it into the ring. He gets a mic and says if he sees any more signs like that, he's going to go out there and do what he does best, which is kicking white trash, trailer park ass, and that the best time he ever had in Alabama was when he left it. 
Jarrett and Steiner waste no time stomping away at Hugh as he slides into the ring, they send him off the ropes into back elbows. Sent off the ropes again into a double clothesline, then sent to the corner for boots by Steiner, followed by rights while Jarrett poses in the corner. Spinning belly to belly slam by Steiner then some push ups, which Jarrett tries to make advantage, and nearly gets the win because of bad timing, since the ref just stops counting. Steiner realizes what's going on and goes after Jarrett, but I guess he talks himself out of it and they go back to stomping on Hugh. Hugh sent off the ropes into a clothesline and an elbow drop by Steiner, who then poses in the corner. Jarrett goes to nail Hugh with the Stroke but Steiner cuts him off with a boot to the midsection and some rights, alternating between Jarrett and Hugh, then a T-Bone on Jarrett before Hugh takes down Steiner with a forearm. Hugh goes up top and tries for the moonsault on Jarrett but he rolls out of the ring to grab his guitar as Steiner locks in the Recliner on Hugh, only for Jarrett to smash the guitar over his back. Then instead of making the pin, he leaves the ring, Hugh rolls over and puts his arm on Steiner to win in 2:31. Well that was... something.

The rest of MIA come out to celebrate and... we cut immediately to Sting arriving at the graveyard, calling out for Vamp, which is up next.

Back from break, we see footage from moments ago, where MIA are celebrating in the back, only for Bischoff to walk up and fire them all, even Lash who he says is too stupid to be fired. Then we cut to Russo, Liz and his security in some back room and calls Lex a musclehead, while Liz snickers. Then he calls himself a real New Yorker, she says he disgusts her.

Then we cut back to Sting in the graveyard, and I guess it's time for this.

Graveyard Match?: Sting vs Vampiro
So what are the rules of a Graveyard Match? Fucked if I know. Vamp appears from behind a large gravestone just as Sting passes by, stalking Sting, while Sting continues searching. Sting finally spots him and gives chase, only to lose him. As Sting leaps from a ledge, Vamp attacks with a shovel a few times, sending Sting rolling across the ground, then nearly breaks the shovel handle over his back. Vamp picks up a tombstone, and Sting just stands there, before asking who he is. Vamp says he's the monster Sting should have been before breaking the tombstone over his head, knocking him into an open grave that you can barely see, before dumping a wheelbarrow of dirt in. Vamp leaves the graveyard, so I guess he wins...? I don't even know if this was a match. We see Sting's hand reach out from the open grave just before we go to commercial.

Back from break, we get a replay of what just happened, then to the locker room where Lex is working out with Ric by his side, giving him a pep talk, then back to the arena for an actual match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs Tank Abbott If Page loses, Tank gets Arquette later in the show.
Trading rights to start the match, but Tank quickly gets the upperhand with body shots, then one to the side of the head. Tank gets ready to leave thinking he's knocked Page out, but he pulls himself to the corner, barely pulling himself back up. Tank tosses him out to the floor before being whipped into the guard rail, and Page fights with rights. We cut to the back where Kanyon and Arquette try to go to the ring, but the door is... locked? Barricaded?
Tank knocks Page over the guard rail into the crowd, but Page bends a trash can over his head and back. He tosses Tank over and accidentally knocks down the ref, then Jarrett appears in the crowd to clock Page in the back of the head, Page is out, ref calls for the bell and Tank wins in 1:58. We're only halfway through this show and it's already dragged on too long.

We see Arquette freaking out backstage while the referee tries to wake up Page, and we get a replay and it looks like Jarrett smashed  bottle over his head, then we go to commercial.

Back from break, Page has been loaded onto a stretcher in the back, with Kanyon and Arquette by his side, then we cut suddenly to the locker room, where Hogan attacks Mike Awesome they start hammering away at each other. 

Then we go to the arena, where Kidman makes his way out with Torrie nowhere in sight. He gets a mic and says a thank you from the fans would be nice: for taking Hogan and wiping his ass with him, for taking Hogan's nothing-happening nephew and kicking the crap out of him, and for showing them what the New Blood is all about. Then he tells us what the New Blood is all about, which is taking the so-called heroes of the business, the guys who have been calling themselves heroes for so long that the name stuck, like Hogan, Sting and Nash, and exposing them for the washed-up pieces of trash that they are. He says that everyone knows at Slamboree, with Bischoff counting the 1-2-3 again, that he's going to finish him off there, then lays out an open challenge to anyone in the back.

We go to the back where... someone is walking up to Terry Taylor, informing him of Kidman's challenge... Oh it's Nash, so he makes his way out to the ring as Kidman keeps talking. He's oblivious to Nash and suggests maybe someone in the crowd take the challenge, until Nash's music hits.

Kidman wastes no time going at Nash with rights, but Nash levels him with a knee to the ribs. Kidman thrown into the corner and Nash follows with more knees to the ribs, then some elbows to the side of the head before throwing him across the ring with a biel. Now choking him in the corner with his boot, until all of a sudden Konnan and a maskless Mysterio attack from behind. Someone on commentary says they don't even work there, so... Anyways, Kidman takes down Nash with a missile dropkick, then tries some rights in the corner until Nash fights out, kicks Mysterio in the corner and a sidewalk slam on Kidman. Konnan sent off the ropes into a sidewalk slam. Big boot levels Mysterio, then one for Kidman. Konnan and Mysterio distract and Kidman manages to escape in the chaos, while Nash chases Konnan and Mysterio to the back. 

They run to the parking lot as fast as they can, Konnan gets into a lowrider truck with Mysterio getting in the back, but there are cars in the way, so Nash catches up pretty easily. Then he throws someone out of there car as if to chase, only to just walk up to the Konnan/Mysterio truck, they get out of the truck just as Nash walks up and... commercial.

Back from break... I guess Nash beat up Mysterio a bit, but honestly, it doesn't look like much happened since then. Nash clubs away at Konnan, then at Rey, then...

Fucking hell, this show is going a thousand miles a second. We go back to the arena where Ruso comes out with Liz handcuffed to him by the wrist. He gets a mic and calls out to Flair, saying he will interfere at Slamboree and is looking forward to 5 min of kicking his ass. Then he says as far as Lex goes, if he beats Russo tonight, he'll give him the key to Liz's cuffs. Russo tells Liz to do her job and do him, and she tells him to kiss her Kentucky ass. Can I just say I appreciate the reactions from Charles Robinson in the background? 

He gets pissed and tells Lex to come out, and right on cue here he comes with Flair in tow, but unbeknownst to Lex, Douglas and Bagwell attack Flair from behind in the aisle. Then a dozen security guys rush Lex to hold him off, only to be fought off momentarily, then they trap him in the corner. One sprays him with mace as we see Flair laid out int he aisle, then Bagwell comes in. Lex has been handcuffed in all this, so Bagwell holds open his legs so Douglas can deliver a headbutt between them. Russo calls him Small Package, then Buff drives him down to the mat. Russo gives Liz the bat trying to get her to finish the job but she cracks Russo in the back instead, then quickly escapes to the back. 

Now KroniK rush the ring and lay out security, but Buff and Shane leave in the chaos. One of them actually tries a German suplex on... one of KroniK, only to be sent down with a full nelson slam. Now cops have appeared on the apron, before KroniK hits High Times on one of the security guys, then another gets press slammed to the outside on the others before the cops finally subdue them.

Then we cut to Kanyon trying to calm Arquette down in the locker room, and Arquette is petrified, saying he's going to get killed. Kanyon says he'll figure something out before we go to commercial.

Back from break, we catch up with Nash in the parking lot who's just smashing up Konnan's car, and Konnan's out cold in the front seat. Then we go to Lex and KroniK being put in squad cars outside while Russo and the tag champs taunt them.

Then to the arena, Vamp has made his way back from the graveyard, and commentary announce Hogan vs Awesome for tonight. He says that tonight the hunter has become the hunted, the predator became the prey, that Sting walked along the lines of good and evil and when he came out on the other side, he was in Vamp's arms like a newborn baby. He tells Sting that he lives for that kind of fear, that he's his anti-hero, that he's decided Sting's destiny and sealed his fate, because he is the freak, the monster that Sting should have been. He says that Sting found out tonight that he is the one and only true darkness.

Suddenly the lights flicker, the lightning sounds and Sting music hits, and we see a crow on one of the trusses below the tron. Sting rappels from the rafters with bat in hand and enters the ring, nailing Vamp repeatedly in the ribs, back and knee, just completely no-selling the tombstone shot. Sting goes to leave, but comes back in for one more bat shot to the ribs, then makes his exit, making everything about this story tonight pointless.

We see Tank walking in the back, then Arquette and Kanyon doing the same. Then we catch up with Stasiak still working on the free throw record, then we go to break. 

Back from break, Russo walks into the women's locker room I think where Liz is, and says she will never disrespect him again, and she smacks him hard in the face, telling him to get out, screaming he doesn't own her. He tells her to watch it before leaving.

David Arquette (WCW World Heavyweight Champion) vs Tank Abbott

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Well Kanyon had joined Arquette down to the ring, but was immediately sent to the back by the referee.

Arquette jumps on Tank's back in a poorly applied headlock or sleeper hold, although maybe that's on purpose, or maybe not, I don't know. Tank just laughs and slams David back first into the corner. Tank backs off and turns his back, so David does the stupid thing and clubs him in the back with a forearm, so he slams David down on the mat. David pulls himself up in the corner and tries to tackle Tank but it's no use.

Then we cut to an ambulance pulling into the arena and out comes Page, still selling the effects of the earlier encounter. Tank throws the ref out of the ring while Tank waits for Page. We cut to the back where Eric tells Jarrett to intercept, but it's too late, as we cut back to the ring as Page comes in from behind and nails the Diamond Cutter on Tank, then pulls Arquette on top. Page rolls the ref back into the ring, he makes the cover and David Arquette gets the pinfall victory over Tank Abbott in 2:12. Admittedly it was actually mildly entertaining watching David try and get offense in but...

Page carries David out of the ring as we go to replays. Up next, Hogan vs Awesome.

Back from break, we learn why Jarrett was nowhere to be found, as we get footage from moments ago of Steiner beating the crap out of him backstage. Then we catch back up with Stasiak, who's attacked from behind by Henning, ruining his record. Then we get another replay of that Diamond Cutter from before the break. Then we go to the arena for another match:

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Hulk Hogan vs Mike Awesome

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Now this is never announced as a Falls Count Anywhere Match, or if it was, it was too quiet over the entrance music, the only reason I know this is from the Network description for this episode.

Hogan immediately on the attack as Awesome slides into the ring, then they trade rights until Mike rakes the eyes, then rights in the corner until Hogan nails a low blow. Hogan stuffs his do rag in Mike's mouth before they start kicking and punching, Hogan sent off the ropes into a clothesline. More rights by Mike sends Hogan to the outside and up the aisle. Mike follows with a splash, then Hogan goes face first into the guard rail, more rights by Mike, then pulled into a clothesline before going back to the ring. Mike goes up top with a flying clothesline, cover and a near fall.

Hogan rolls back out and pulls Mike out, sends him face first into the guard rail, then nail him in the head with a chair, then the back twice. Mike whipped into the guard rail, then again in the aisle. Hogan takes off the belt and whips Mike repeatedly across the back, then chokes Mike with it. More rights by Hogan, until Mike nails Hogan in the head with the belt buckle, then again and again in the aisle. More shots to the head with the buckle, then choking Hogan with the belt, then across the back. Mike pulls Hogan back toward the ring, but gets sent face first into the steps, then belt across the back some more. Hogan with a back suplex to the floor, then chokes Mike. Mike crotched on the guard rail before Hogan goes in with more rights, until Mike gets a chair and jams it in Hogan's gut repeatedly, then across the back twice. 

Back in the ring, Mike with the slingshot headbutt to the back, covers, Hogan kicks out and immediately pounces on Mike with right hands. Back to their feet, Hogan whips Mike across the ring and a clothesline in the corner, then again. Mike sent off the ropes into a big boot, as Kidman runs down to the ring with chair in hand, but Hogan catches him with a boot to the midsection, then a chair to the back. Mike has rolled to the outside and Hogan joins him, while Bischoff argues with the ref. Kidman comes off the top rope and drives a chair into Hogan's head. Back in the ring, Mike makes the pin and wins in 7:16, with Hogan busted open yet again.

Bischoff heads to the back as Mike celebrates with Kidman in the ring. Hogan is already back up with a chair, nails Mike in the back and Kidman in the head, then Mike in the head and Kidman in the back, then the referee, then... a fan runs into the ring with a Sting mask. I was legitimately confused for a second, I figured this was part of the show, but no security rushes in and gets the fan out of there... Or maybe it was part of the show, because it distracts Hogan before he's doused in "blood" from the sky. Kidman back in now with Mike and others in the New Blood attacking Hogan in this red liquid. Bischoff comes back out pleased with their work as the show fades out on the image of a "bloody" Hogan.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Fucking hell, they tried to overload this show with a ton of bullshit, everything felt rushed, nothing was given any proper time, and the one match that did get more than 5 minutes ended with that. Not to mention it's the go-home show of Nitro and I don't think a single thing was accomplished. As the final icing on the shit cake, with a total runtime of 1:25:02, there was only 21:17 of total wrestling on this show. I am not looking forward to Thunder...

WCW Thunder

We get a recap package of what happened on Nitro, then right to the intro and opening pyro, live from the Mid-South Coliseum in Memphis, Tennessee. We've got Schiavone, Mike Tenay and the late Bobby "the Brain" Heenan on commentary tonight, so admittedly this show's already off to a good start. I'm sure that won't last long. 

Little time wasted as we cut to outside the arena, where several of the... well they're not all Millionaire's Club honestly, so non-New Blood guys, like Page, Horace, Hulk, Kanyon, KroniK, and Flair, among others waiting outside a closed gate, seemingly waiting for Bischoff and Russo. 

We go to commentary who hype up some of Sunday's matches, then to the back once more, where Russo and Bischoff pull up outside the arena to the awaiting New Blood. They yank Russo and Bischoff out and start roughing them up along with Jarrett and then there's Henning, and just chaos, then we go to commercial.

Back from break, we get a replay of the chaos that just happened, then to the back again, where I guess Russo and Bischoff got away. They walk into the New Blood office/locker room and Russo is pissed, smashing  plant with a bat wondering where the hell they were, then tells them to get off their asses to take care of some business.

They all make their way out to the ring now, Russo immediately wondering if the Club knows who they are, that they're not there to play games, before calling them out to the stage, and right on cue out they come. Russo pipes back up and says the people cheer them because they're scum, just like the Club. Despite the fact he was fired on Nitro, Hugh Morrus is among the Millionaire's, I don't know how that is. Russo says he'll go up there and smack Ric's smile off his face, and if they want a gang war tonight, then that's exactly what's gonna happen. He says he's going to take off his boots, put all of their names in said boot, and one by one the New Blood will pick out a name and beat their sorry asses one on one, but it'll be New York rules, which means... there are no rules, no referees. You beat the guy, you count it. I'm not going to lie, I was not ready for this level of stupidity, what?

Ric speaks on behalf of the MC and asks if Russo took the time to look at who he's talking to, while calling him a dipshit. He tells Russo's he's looking at and talking to the collection of the greatest wrestlers that ever lived, and accepts Russo's challenge, but with one difference, that they're going to take that boot and shove it up Russo's ass, and Ric leads the charge down to the ring. Big fight breaks out in the ring while Russo, Bischoff and Liz make their escape. Security rush the ring to try and break it up with not much use and it's just chaos, then we go to commercial.

Back from break, Jarrett makes his way back out alongside Kimberly and gets a mic. He calls out Kanyon, saying the Chosen One has handpicked his slap ass to kick tonight, and it's not just him he has heat with, Kimberly wants Jarrett to leave him flat on his back just like she did to her used up husband. Kimberly gets the mic and calls out to Page, saying she's talked to Eric a lot lately, and the more she listens to him, the more she understands that Page is just not good enough for her. She's young, talented, educated, exceedingly beautiful and a great sense of style, and him, a bar-bouncing bum from Nowheresville. She says everything he's ever achieved in the wrestling business has been because of Bischoff, and everything he's ever become as a man is because of her. She says he's just as lame as all the wrestling marks in the crowd, and like them, don't deserve her, and tells him to just go ahead with the divorce, get on with his life, because they need to start thinking about what's really important, which is her. Again, she can actually cut a decent promo, but you know this was written by Russo when "wrestling marks" came out of her mouth.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Kimberly) vs Chris "Champagne" Kanyon

Jeff doesn't let Kanyon get to the ring as they start fighting in the aisle, Kanyon briefly gets the upperhand until Jeff whips him into the guard rail, then dropped chest first on top of it. Kanyon sent into the guard rail again, then rolled into the ring. Jeff with kicks to the chest and head, Kanyon sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and nails the Russian leg sweep. Kanyon now with rights in the corner, but gets whipped across the ring, then gets the boot up as Jarrett charges him, before delivering a Fame Asser from the middle rope. Kanyon goes up top but misses the splash before being clotheslined to the outside. 

Kanyon face first into the steps, then over the guard rail into the crowd, then snapmared back over to the floor. Jarrett grabs a chair and cracks Kanyon across the back before going back to the ring. Kanyon sent off the ropes, cuts off a hip toss and hits a swinging neckbreaker, then follows with clotheslines. 10 punch in the corner by Kanyon, then a bulldog to the mat. Kimberly comes in with guitar in hand as Page's music hits, he takes the guitar away, embraces her a moment then without any hesitation smashes the guitar over her head. Meanwhile Jarrett low blows Kanyon, then goes for the Stroke, but Page turns him around for a Diamond Cutter. Kanyon covers, counts his own pin and wins the match in... let's say 3:56, since there was no bell to start this match. This was actually a fairly OK match, and the crowd loved seeing Kimberly get hers, but this whole "no refs" thing is still stupid.

Page and Kanyon celebrate before Page blows a kiss to Kimberly, then take their leave. Jarrett finally comes to as Kimberly is still lid out. 

To the back, we learn Wall is up next, and Russo tells him not to disappoint him, and they go to the ring before commercial.

Tables Match: The Wall vs The Total Package (w/ Vince Russo, Liz and security)

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get a video package of Wall putting various wrestlers through tables, since it's his gimmick, and there are several tables set up around ringside. Then we see footage from Nitro, with what happened to Luger, and Lex attacking Liz. 

Again no opening bell, but Wall starts laying in rights as Russo and co. make their way out, choking him in the corner. Then Flair comes out as Russo joins commentary, Flair joining in too. He's here to make sure Russo doesn't get involved. Wall stomping away before clubbing the back, sends Lex off the ropes into a back elbow. More choking in the corner and Lex tries to fight out, but  Wall gets him with a backbreaker. Lex ducks a clothesline and goes in with rights and a couple of clotheslines, followed by a forearm, then clotheslines Wall to the outside.

Wall whipped into the guard rail, then gets distracted by Russo at commentary, Wall clubbing him from behind. Russo nails Ric in the back with the bat as he gets distracted by the two of them, then Wall takes the bat to hit Lex but gets him up in the Rack instead. Russo nails Lex in the ribs with the bat, so he drops Wall, who ends up barely going through the table, and Lex's music hits... So I guess Lex wins in about 3:35.

Russo gets in the ring with Liz and security and asks for a mic, then calls Ric into the ring to do the 5 min originally planned for the PPV now instead. Ric obliges until Russo holds up Liz, who then nails Russo with a low blow and Ric lays out security. He tries to lock in the figure 4 on Russo but Bagwell and Douglas save him, while Wall deals with Luger. KroniK hit the ring now to deal with the tag champs, sending them to the back. Ric recovers on the apron.

Kidman comes out now and tells Ric to get his sorry ass up, because it seems he's drawn his name for a match tonight, then goes to commercial.

Ric Flair vs Billy Kidman

We come back to match in progress, Flair delivering a chop in the corner, then gets whipped across the ring before walking into a dropkick. Kidman goes up top and hits a missile dropkick before a series of rights. Ric lifted to the top rope, Kidman joins him for a superplex. More rights from Kidman, whipping Ric into the corner and turns him inside out to the outside. Kidman wastes time talking trash to commentary and Ric gets in a chop across the chest, only to be tossed back in. Scoop slam by Kidman, then a slingshot legdrop from the apron. More stomps and rights by Kidman before he goes back to the top rope and misses a splash.

Flair with a low blow, then pulls Kidman's shirt off, bare chested chops in the corner now before a right hand. More chops in the corner until Konnan and Mysterio appear out of nowhere to attack Ric, triple teaming until Nash's music hits and out he comes. Rey tries to escape but Konnan shoves him into Nash, who just shoulder blocks him to the mat. Konnan sent off the ropes into a big boot. Kidman has escaped up the ramp while Nash nails the jackknife on Konnan. Kidman tries to go to the back but Hogan attacks from behind the curtain and sends him back down to the ring with right hands. Rey yanks Kidman out and now out comes Mike Awesome, but Hogan and Nash get the numbers gain, sends him off the ropes into a double big boot. Nash nails him with the jackknife now. I guess this match is over... If we assume this was the end of the match, it clocks in at 6:17, I guess as a no contest?

Nash gets a mic and announces Mike Awesome the winner of the match due to outside interference, and they have a good laugh before leaving the ring.

We cut to somewhere in the back, where Vamp is... mumbling about something, then slams his head into something metal, then says he'll show Page some pain before going to commercial.

Back from break, we get a replay of Awesome being laid out with the jackknife, then back to the arena for our next match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs Vampiro

Well Vamp doesn't even get down the ramp before Sting attacks him from behind on the stage. Now to the floor beside the stage, Vamp sent into the guard rail then the side of the stage, then a scoop slam on the floor. Then because... reasons, there's a bucket of "blood" nearby and Sting dumps it on Vamp before tossing him in the ring. Page nails the Diamond Cutter, counts his pin, and wins in... well from the time Sting attacks, to the 3, it's 52 seconds.

Page poses in the corner before making his exit, then commercial.

Back from break, we go to the New Blood locker room where everyone's arguing, Russo gets mad at Vamp for smiling and yells at them to get on the same page. Then to the Millionaire's locker room who are celebrating, then back to the arena as Mike Awesome comes out with mic in hand. He says he drew Sting's name out of the boot tonight, then tells Sting that whether he's coming out through the front, back, side doors or rafters, to get his Batman ass down there.

Mike Awesome vs Sting

Mike wastes no time attacking Sting, whips him in the corner and follows with a splash, followed by a scoop slam and a splash off the ropes. Sting now with shots to the midsection, then a 10 punch in the corner into an atomic drop. Mike tossed to the outside now, who takes his chance to regroup, still selling his back from the jackknife. He notices MIA sitting front row, who jump the rail and attack him. They toss him back in, Sting stomping away, whipping Mike into the corner and follows with a Stinger Splash, then a second time. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock, and Mike taps before he can even fully apply it, giving Sting the win in 2:15.

Sting keeps the hold going for several moments before Sting finally releases the hold, then go to commercial.

Back to the New Blood, Russo turns to Steiner and says he's there last hope, but Steiner tells him he's doing this for himself, not Russo, then leaves the room and out to the arena. He has a mic of course, and says he's been watching an old, over the hill has-been come out and talk about his spot in wrestling, and every time Steiner sees him, it's made him puke yellow and red. He says Hogan knows it's him he's talking about, and that tonight his spot in wrestling is in the ring, getting his ass kicked by Steiner, and Steiner's spot is proving to Hogan that he is now the man in wrestling. He says after he makes a believer out of Hogan, him and his freaks, the two ladies by his side, are going to go to Hogan's house and prove it to his woman until she calls Steiner the Big Bad Booty Daddy. 

Scott Steiner (WCW United States Champion) vs Hulk Hogan

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We see the footage from Nitro where Hogan got the bloodbath. 

Steiner immediately on the attack as Hogan slides into the ring, boots in the corner, right hands, sending Hogan off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and nails rights before some clotheslines, Steiner rolling out. Steiner face first into the guard rail before being thrown over, and Hogan chases after him. Hugh Morrus is out there too helping Hogan. Commentary do confirm Hugh was fired, which makes his appearance earlier on even more confusing. Back at ringside, Hugh and Hogan with boots to the ribs and right hands, until Steiner nails low blows and a double clothesline. Steiner calls out for somebody from the back to even the odds, but Hogan and Hugh send him off the ropes into a big boot. Hugh with a clothesline, sending Steiner out of the ring again.

Steiner decides he's had enough and leaves the ring, so I guess Hogan wins by countout...? Or is this a no contest? In 2:36.

Hogan and Hugh take their leave and head to the back, and we cut to the New Blood, where Bischoff is on the phone telling someone to get there. Steiner is in Russo's face pissed off, grabbing him and Bischoff by their jackets and scaring the piss out of them. Steiner shoves them both away and leaves pissed, while Bischoff tries to tell him he has it covered, then kicks out the cameraman before going to commercial.

Back from break, we see a limo has pulled up outside the arena, with an "FUNB" license plate, then to the arena where Buff Bagwell makes his way out with partner Douglas, who's carrying both of their titles.

Buff Bagwell & Shane Douglas (WCW Tag Team Champions) vs Kronic

Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I guess the spelling of their team name changes week by week, because I could've sworn last week, the name graphic had it spelled as KroniK, but now it's Kronic.

Shane and Buff try to get the jump as Kronic enter the ring, but they quickly get on the offensive. Buff gets tossed to the outside while Shane gets whipped into the corner, then sent off the ropes into back elbows. Elbow drop and a leg drop, then one of them comes off the ropes while the other holds up Shane, but Buff pulls the top rope down sending him tumbling to the outside, then sends that Adam into the guard rail. Meanwhile Shane is on the offensive in the ring, while Buff is sent into the guard rail. Shane with a front suplex and something like a reverse snapmare, then Buff clotheslined to the floor. Buff chopped in the aisle, then choked against the rail, Shane sent off the ropes and caught for a poor man's F5. Buff choking one of them against the apron, while commentary announce Steiner vs Morrus for the PPV. So is Hugh hired again? And I thought Booker was already scheduled to face Steiner? Speaking of, where is he? Is he injured? I'll have to look into that...

Buff tosses one of them back in the ring while he lays in with rights on the other on the outside, then sends him face first off the steps. Buff back in now, sent off the ropes into a sidewalk slam. Boots in the corner, Shane clocks the one on the outside with a belt, while Buff nails the Blockbuster in the ring, makes the cover, Shane counts but the other Adam stops the count, then drops him with a right. Now Shane sent to the corner for more boots, while Buff tosses his partner to the outside. Buff and Shane send the one in the ring off the ropes, try to nail him with the belt but he ducks and nails a double clothesline. His partner comes back in and tosses Buff out, then nail Douglas with High Times. make the cover and the pin in 4:10. You know what, this match actually wasn't half bad. The only match this week so far without any interference, and if the no ref stupidity wasn't there, I could have given this a pass.

Kronic raise the titles up as if they've won it, then we go back to the New Blood, where Bischoff reassures he knows the Millionaires better than they know themselves, that he can make and break them, and asks them to trust him. Then he turns to Russo, saying it's easy, then proclaims it's their war before going to commercial.

Back from break, we see the limo still parked outside, then a bus pulling up right behind. Then Bischoff leads the New Blood armed with weapons out to the ring, and Vamp still hasn't showered after being doused with "blood". Eric tries to speak into a mic but you can't hear any of it, until eventually someone fixes the issue, he asks Russo if he has Liz where he wants her, to which he says yes. Eric says that while he and Russo have a lot in common, the big difference is Russo is a bit of a hot head, an in your face kind of guy, while Eric likes to think things through. He says he's been thinking about everything that's happened tonight, that they tried to do this the right way, tried to be sportsmen, to create a level playing field, but it wasn't good enough for them. He says since they want guerrilla warfare, he thinks it's a great idea, and says they've got it. 

Flair's music hits and out comes the Millionaires, Ric with mic in hand. He says Flair's looking at the future, with 11 of them, and 11 of the MC. Flair says that once again Bischoff's overthinking it again, that he's looking at greatness, and tradition, and have nothing left to prove tonight, however if he wants to go one more time, Flair suggests an over-the-top battle royal, and the last man standing gets a shot at the World Title at the Great American Bash. Eric says they'll take that bet and beat them at their own game. 

22-Man Battle Royal for a World Title Shot at Bash at the Beach: Mike Awesome, Vampiro, Jeff Jarrett, Chris Candido, Billy Kidman, Scott Steiner, Sean Stasiak, The Wall, Ernest Miller, Buff Bagwell, Shane Douglas, Ric Flair, Sting, Chris Kanyon, Hugh Morrus, Kronic, Total Package, Horace Hogan, Hulk Hogan, Diamond Dallas Page, Curt Henning

Of course it's impossible to try and follow all the action going on, with 22 guys going at it at once. The only match tonight that has referees around the ring I guess to call for a winner and count eliminations. Suddenly the Mamalukes and the Harris Brothers join the fray, and then out come Harlem Heat 2000 and Norman Smiley to make this a... Oh wait, Bigelow is in there now too, so I guess 31-Man Battle Royal. Commentary tell us Horace has been eliminated but you couldn't tell trying to watch this, the ring is filled with 30 guys. Oh now Tank Abbott joins in, and Flair nails Shane on the outside with a pipe. I'm just going to put eliminations in bullet points here because I can't keep up with this shit. There's still a good 15 min left in this show.

- Stasiak eliminates Henning

- Steiner scares away the referees

- Kronic get eliminated by ???

- They go to commercial and I don't think anyone got eliminated

- Luger eliminates Buff and then himself... I think, then slams Buff face first into the steps

- Vamp eliminates Sting, then Sting eliminates Vamp, then throws Vamp around into the guard rails and the announce taable

- Hugh and Steiner I think eliminate themselves

- MIA is in there for some reason

- Vito eliminated, then Van Hammer and Stevie Ray

- Medusa and Mona (Molly Holly) join the match randomly, Asya

- I think Shane low blows... I can't tell who, one of the aforementioned ladies

- Jim Duggan with the WTF Moment of the Night coming out to join this match

- Duggan eliminates Bigelow and Miller

- Norman eliminated by Tank, then he by Duggan, then Duggan by... himself?

- Someone steps out of the limo we saw earlier, but all we see are their boots, and it turns out to be... Macho Man?! OK, scratch what I just said about Duggan, wtf?!

- Savage eliminates Wall, Stasiak and Awesome, then Candido

- Page eliminates himself and Jarrett, then they fight in the aisle

- Bret Hart appears out of nowhere and comes down with a chair, nailing Hogan in the back, then leaves

- Kidman eliminated by Flair

- Russo makes his way back out with Flair and Douglas left, as Flair locks in the figure 4, Russo accidentally cracks Douglas across the knee with the bat, then takes the bat and cracks Douglas in the chest over the top rope to win this match in 19:30. Fucking hell, this show was a fucking mess.

Hogan sets up the stairs by the announce table and powerbombs Kidman through it... or actually I guess Bischoff hits Hogan in the knee with the bat so he goes through it too? The camera is focused on Flair the whole damn time, you don't even see it happen, just the aftermath. Meanwhile, Page is seen climbing the entrance structure with Jarrett beside him, and I think Arquette walks by with a guitar, but the stage collapses under him? Wtf? Savage goes to check on Hogan, and Jarrett stands tall, I think Page was supposed to be thrown off through the stage based on what commentary says, or actually I guess Jarrett based on Arquette's appearance, but they made that part of the stage so brittle Arquette fell through it. Anyways, that's it.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

What the fuck is there to say about this show? This show was a fucking mess top to bottom. No rules, no referees, a nonsensical chaotic main event, and a spot ruined because they set the stage up wrong, or Arquette did something wrong, or something, who the hell knows? In all this, with a runtime of 1:25:50, there was a total of 43:11 of wrestling, which I think is the most amount of wrestling on a non-PPV show in WCW since I started covering it.

That said, now there's Slamboree to look to, so here's the card:

- WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chris Candido (c) (w/ Tammy Sytch) vs The Artist (w/ Paisley)

- 2 on 1 Handicap Match for the WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk (c) vs Norman Smiley & Mystery Partner

- Curt Henning vs Sean Stasiak

- WCW United States Championship: Scott Steitner (c) vs Hugh Morrus

- Chris "Champagne" Kanyon vs Mike Awesome

- Buff Bagwell vs The Total Package

- Ric Flair vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas If Russo interferes, Flair gets him in the ring for 5 minutes.

- Sting vs Vampiro

- Billy Kidman vs Hulk Hogan, Special Guest Referee: Eric Bischoff

- Triple Cage Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: David Arquette (c) vs Diamond Dallas Page vs Jeff Jarrett

Again on paper, most of this looks like a pretty good card, but I have absolutely no faith in it, I expect plenty of run ins and bullshit.