Week 6 - Go-Home to Judgement Day
Raw
We're live from the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio this week for Monday Night Raw. Lawler and J.R. welcome us to the show, then we cut to the Rock arriving at the arena, before... Well, we suddenly have an appearance from HBK, the Commissioner who hasn't been seen in months. He reminds everyone who he is, at one time called the greatest wrestler that ever lived, but now the Commissioner. He says that a lot has happened that people should have been punished for and that's his fault, he says he's got a lot of priorities in his life right now, one being his wrestling school, his own wrestling promotion and more importantly his wife and 4-month old baby boy, but because of all that he hasn't been good at his job. He takes this time to retire, resign as the Commissioner, because of what's gone on is his fault. He brings up the first episode of Smackdown back in August, he's the guy that started it all, and he plays the footage where he delivered Sweet Chin Music to the Rock during a WWF Title match with HHH as the special referee.
Before he can say anything else,Vince comes out with the biggest smile on his face and an asshole chant starts up immediately. Vince asks them not to ruin this moment, calling what we saw the greatest archival footage in WWF history, and he can't believe Shawn's there. He says he didn't invite him, but asks since when does HBK need an invitation anyways. Shawn says he was invited though by Linda, and he came two announcements, one of course being his resignation as Commissioner, but also thanks to Linda he's now the official Spokesperson of the WWF. His other announcement has to do with the WWF Title match coming Sunday, and seeing as he made the Iron Man Match famous, the only man in the WWF to go those 60 Minutes, so he's going to be the special referee at the PPV.
Vince says he's been caught off guard, but admits that at one time Shawn was one of the greatest WWF Champions of all time, as well as the most resilient, but wonders how resilient he is now. So Shawn responds by shoving Vince on his ass, and Shawn's music hits before leaving the ring and heading to the back into commercial.
Back from break we get a replay of the announcement and shove moments ago, then footage of Shawn leaving the arena during the break in a limo just as DX is arriving. Show walks up asking if Shane's with them, but he's not and HHH says to just wait for him, he'll be there soon.
The Dudley Boyz vs Al Snow & Steve Blackman
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: J.R. tells us the Dudleyz will face DX in a Tables Match at the PPV, then we go to the back where Blackman and Snow are heading to the ring. Blackman thanks god that the Head Cheese crap is behind them, and Snow wonders why he even brings it up, pointing out that he doesn't carry head any more, and Blackman doesn't have an affinity for cheese. Blackman denies ever having an affinity for cheese, while Snow starts to meditate, because it's what serious people do. We also learn that we have Angle vs Rikishi, a Hardcore Title match, Jericho vs Hardcore Holly in a Hardcore Match, plus Eddie/Chyna vs Malenko/Saturn and a Tag Title match scheduled for the show.
Snow and D-Von start this out with some quick back and forth, and DX comes out on the stage almost immediately, while Snow delivers kicks to the midsection, D-Vons ent off the ropes, ducks an elbow and nails a spinning back one of his own. Bubba in now, Snow reverses a whip off the ropes and hits a back drop, followed by clotheslines. Blackman gets the tag, Bubba reverses a whip off the ropes, Blackman ducks a back elbow, Bubba ducks a spinning heel kick, Blackman with some kicks and off the ropes into a sidewalk slam. Bubba gets Snow mad to distract the referee, setting D-Von up to deliver the diving headbutt between the legs.
Blackman reverses a whip off the ropes and Snow trips up D-Von, pulling him out for a wheelbarrow facebuster on the steel ramp. D-Von sent off the ropes by both Snow and Blackman back in the ring, D-Von ducks elbows and nails a double clothesline. Bubba gets the tag, back drop on Snow, back suplex on Blackman. D-Von tagged in, they send Snow off the ropes and Blackman nails Bubba with a dropkick, then... something got screwed up because this ending sequence became a mess. Either way, Bubba slides back in to hit Snow with the 3D for the win in 3:07. Not a great match to be honest.
Blackman nails D-Von from behind and DX run down as Blackman is tossed to the outside. X-Pac with a low blow and an X-Factor on Bubbam, then Roadie pulls out a table, set it up and put Bubba on it on the outside, while Tori goes up top and splashes Bubba through the table. DX's music hits while she crotch chops and flips off Bubba and they head to the back.
We get a replay of what just happened coming back from break. Then we catch up with the Dudleyz somewhere in the back, where Bubba's in his crazed trance with D-Von trying to snap him out of it to no use.
Now out comes Steph with mic in hand, and she says she's so proud of Tori, standing up for herself and putting Bubba through the table. She says Tori's not the only women in WWF that's suffered humiliation and degradation though, reminding us how she herself almost suffered the most humiliating and violating thing in her life, playing the footage from Smackdown where she almost got the Stinkface. She's horrified at the thought of having Kish's bulbous, smelly, sweaty bottom in her pristine, beautiful face, calling the Stinkface the most revolting and repulsive move, and Kish will regret it, because tonight he's facing someone who feels the exact same way she does.
Kurt comes out with a mic now as she heads to the back, and he starts by saying he's sickened by the Stinkface too, and isn't even sure how it got started. He suggests that maybe it's how Samoans greet each other, he isn't sure, but he does know that while rubbing your butt in someone's face might be suitable behavior in simple places like Samoa, and Cleveland as well, supposing that it's how the Browns got their name, the fact is the Stinkface is not a sanctioned wrestling move, and therefore doesn't belong in the ring, and that is true. As Kish comes out, J.R. tells us that he and Too Cool will face Angle and E&C at the PPV in a 6-man tag.
Kurt Angle vs Rikishi
Angle tries to get the jump on Kish but gets dropped by some rights instead to start this match, until Kurt rakes the eyes, tries to lift Kish but to no avail, Kish with a scoop slam an a leg drop. Kurt sent off the ropes, back drop, Kurt goes for a sunset flip but can't pull him down. Kish drops down but Kurt roll out of the way, meanwhile Patterson and E&C have appeared on the stage as Kish sends Kurt into the ropes for a clothesline, setting Kurt up for a Stinkface. E&C run down before Kish can do it though only to be taken out by clotheslines, ref calls for the bell and Kish wins by DQ in 1:06.
Kurt, then Christian, then Edge all whipped into the same corner, followed by Kish with a hip attack. Too Cool come down and take out Patterson before evening the odds in the ring, all getting tossed out of the ring as Too Cool's music hits, then they get their dancing in.
Then we cut to Big Show still waiting on Shane in the parking lot, while we see Show being put through a table on last week's Smackdown along with Shane's attack into commercial.
WWF Hardcore Championship: The Godfather vs Crash (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Crash wastes no time loading the ring up with some weapons before the bell, sliding in a stop sign and brooms before being met with a stomp as he slides in to start the match.
Crash sent off the ropes into a shoulder block, then off the ropes again into a boot. Godfather hits him over the head with the broom, then a scoop slam, then goes for an elbow but Crash moves out of the way. Crash now with right hands, then Godfather reverses a whip off the ropes to send Crash to the outside. Crash is whipped right into his scale that he brought out before Godfather drops him chest first onto the barricade before going back to the ring.
Crash comes off the ropes but gets caught with a powerslam. Godfather goes for the Ho Train in the corner but Crash picks up the stop sign to shield the blow. D'Lo runs down and clubs Crash in the back of the head, then goes up top for the Lo Down on Godfather, then a Sky High on Crash for a pin, but Godfather breaks it up. D'Lo is sent up and over to the outside by Godfather, while one of the hos slides into the ring, covers Crash and wins the title in 2:36. Her title reign lasts all of 5 seconds as Crash rolls her up immediately and wins the title back.
Crash escapes as Godfather tries to get him and runs to the back, then we cut to HHH, Steph and Vince on their way to the ring. Then we have Show still waiting on Shane in the parking lot into commercial.
As expected, out they come to the ring. Vince announces that tonight Rock will face Benoit tonight in a Submission Match, and HHH points out Rock doesn't have any submission moves. Then he says Rock is going to come out and answer his challenge, but wants to make it clear what Rock is getting into, no question, no excuse, repeating his challenge. He says this isn't about catchphrases, cliches, or gimmicks, there won't be excuses, because this is the one match that no one wants to touch, that no one in their right mind wants to try to do, because they don't have the ability to do it. He says Rock has to ask himself if he has that ability, because there's no question that he himself does and then some. He says when Judgement Day is over, one man will walk from the ring the very best. the greatest, the undisputed WWF Champion, and it will be the Game, HHH. He says as far as Shawn goes, they have quite a past, one hell of a ride, but when he sees Shawn in the ring talking like he did tonight, HHH has to ask himself if he and Shawn even have a present, but there is one thing there's no question of, which is if he doesn't call the match the way it should be called, he guarantees that Shawn will have no future.
He goes to say something about the signs in the crowd, but he's interrupted by Rock's music and out he comes. He does his usual shtick and says HHH has been running his mouth the past week, challenging him to an Ironman Match, and since he's officially back on Raw, he's officially going to kick HHH's ass at Judgement Day. He says that he realizes there's something deep down inside HHH that eats him alive, makes him wake up in a cold sweat, make him have nightmares, which is that as good as HHH is, Rock is simply better, and at Judgement Day he's going to prove that. Then he brings up Shawn, who comes out and dances, prances, runs his mouth, all of a sudden he is the guest referee, and Rock smells a rat from the word go, bringing up how Shawn screwed him last time all three of them were involved together. He tells Shawn he better call it straight down the middle or Rock will take his boot and shove it straight up Shawn's candy ass.
Rock turns his attention now to tonight, saying Vince wants to do all he can to Rock before Sunday, throw everything at him, and says one way or the other, as he always does, he's going to get the job done. Then he says while HHH thinks an hour is too much for Rock to handle, considering what he's gonna do, an hour isn't long enough. Rock caps it off with his catchphrase before his music hits and he goes to the back.
Up next, Jericho in action.
Hardcore Match: Chris Jericho vs Hardcore Holly
Trading rights immediately to start the match into the corner, take down by Chris and more blows. More trading shots in the corner and as the ref tries to separate them for... reasons, all three tumble through the ropes to the outside. Jericho with chops and more trading shots until Jericho is whipped into the steps, then lures Holly into a drop toe hold into the bottom half of the steps. Jericho grabs a chair by commentary and swings for his head but connects with the ring post, before being hit with a clothesline.
Holly tosses Jericho in the ring and goes to join him with chair in hand, but Jericho knocks it back into him with a baseball slide, then starts to choke Holly with a camera cable. Holly tossed over the barricade and they start fighting through the crowd until Jericho eventually gets back dropped back over to ringside. Holly now pulls out a leather strap from under the ring and starts to whip Jericho across the back before tossing him back in the ring, bringing a trash can in with him.
Holly goes up top with trash can in hand only to get it dropkicked back in his face midair. Jericho now with the trash can over the head, then applies the Walls until Benoit runs down and gets Jericho in the dragon sleeper. Holly grabs a chair from ringside and Benoit sends Jericho into a shot right to the head, Holly makes the cover and wins in 4:31. Not a bad match, deviated from your typical hardcore match.
We get replays of the closing moments as Holly heads to the back and Jericho lays out cold. Then to the parking lot where Show intercepts a limo, yanking out... somebody not named Shane and it goes to break.
Back from commercial, Shane comes out looking over his shoulder constantly. He asks someone to tell Show that he's not out in the parking lot, so Show can stop asking which way Shane went. He turns his attention to the fans, talking about how he's heard the chant the past few weeks about how he's a pussy, which of course gets bleeped. He says before he takes great exception to that, he looked up pussy in Webster's dictionary, which is clearly defined as "a cat," and he understands why they call him that now because he's quick as a cat, he's got the moves and ferocity of a jungle cat, and he's feeling so frisky that "young Simba" Shane challenges Show to a match at the PPV, with no DQ. He tells Show that after he's defeated him 1-2-3 and Show is lying flat on the canvas, looking up at the bright lights, as the jungle cat sashays down the aisle victorious, the only question that will be left in Show's lobotomized mind is once again "Which way did he go?"
Show interrupts Shane before he can say much else and out he comes. He says Shane just made his day, he doesn't have to hunt him down now, he's got Shane right where he wants him. He says he's not a cat, he's a big, nasty bastard like his shirt says, then asks why he should wait until the PPV and wants to cash in on Shane's 9 lives right now. Shane retreats and says he figured that Show would have all this pent up aggression, so Shane introduces him to his opponents tonight.
T&A (w/ Trish Stratus, Gerald Brisco & Shane McMahon) vs The Big Show
Test starts it out as Show shoves him back, but ducks a clothesline and delivers some rights, off the ropes into a boot from Show followed by a clothesline. Test thrown across the ring until he tags in Albert. Show immediately on the attack, sends Albert off the ropes, he ducks a clothesline but runs right into a powerslam. Show goes for the chokeslam but Test comes in with a chop block, they whip Show across the ring, then Albert whipped into Show, Test follows with a big boot. Double team suplex, cover by Test and a kick out, then Albert with a cover and a kick out.
More rights and clubs, Show sent across the ring into the corner, Albert whipped toward him but Show sidesteps and Albert hits chest first, Show taking down Test with a forearm, then a sidewalk slam for Albert. Chop for Test in the corner, whipped across the ring and Show immediately with a clothesline. Show with boots on Albert in the corner while Trish is heard grabbing a chair from ringside, sliding it in to Test. Show just punches it back into Test's face, then a spinebuster for Albert. Show goes seemingly for a powerbomb but Trish gets in the ring and hits Show with her hat. He grabs her then Brisco comes in to tell him off, and gets a chokeslam for his troubles. Shane grabs the chair and hits Show in the back with it, which doesn't faze him, but the ref calls for the DQ to give Show the win in 3:37.
Shane runs off and Show gives chase to the back, getting hold of Shane and brings him back out, before lifting him off his feet and... well if you remember the WWF.com sign that used to be displayed over the entrance set, Shane gets thrown up into that back/back of the head first and down onto the stage, which gets a loud, audible gasp from the crowd. Show's music hits briefly but T&A are back on the attack, until they get headbutted and his music hits again. We get a replay of Shane being thrown into the crowd from two different angles and it goes to commercial.
Eddie Guerrero (WWF European Champion) & Chyna vs Dean Malenko (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion) & Perry Saturn
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get yet another couple of replays of Shane being thrown into the WWF.com sign, while J.R. tells us Eddie will defend against Saturn and Malenko at the PPV.
Saturn attacks Eddie immediately in the corner and suplexes him over the ropes to the outside. Chyna gets caught between Malenko and Saturn, taking the former down with a clothesline but Saturn takes her down with one of his own. Malenko stomping away while Saturn goes up top, Malenko delivers a backbreaker but Eddie shoves Saturn off to the floor, then Malenko knocks him off the apron. Chyna sends Malenko face first in the corner, whipped across the ring, and a handspring elbow by Chyna. Eddie tagged in now, launched up and over by Malenko and takes out Saturn with a dropkick, then a back suplex on Malenko as he turns his attention to Chyna on the apron.
Malenko sent off the ropes into a spinning back elbow, then Eddie goes for his slingshot somersault from the apron but gets pulled down by Saturn, who holds him in position with a full nelson while Malenko comes with a baseball slide. Back in the ring, Saturn with knees to the midsection and Malenko tagged back in, Eddie whipped into the corner for a gutbuster. Malenko goes for a pumphandle but Eddie slips behind for a roll up and a near fall followed by a clothesline from Malenko. Saturn back in,, Eddie thrown back first into the corner, now rights by Saturn as Malenkp holds Eddie back. Eddie fights back with rights and elbows but walks right into a flapjack, followed by a scoop slam from Saturn. Saturn goes up top and nails a flying elbow, cover and a two count.
Saturn now with a gutwrench, slams Eddie ribs and chest first in the corner and tries for a superplex but Eddie drops him down, followed by a hurricanrna.Chyna in now with forearms, Saturn sent off the ropes into a clothesline, then one for Malenko as he comes in. Saturn sent off the ropes into a powerslam, then Malenko off the ropes into a back body drop. Chyna gets an ax handle to the back by Saturn, he and Malenko send her off the ropes, they go for a back drop, but she kicks Saturn before delivering a DDT to Malenko. Eddie in now with Saturn in the corner, Chyna with Malenko in the opposite one, there's a miscommunication to whip Saturn and Malenko into each other and Eddie ends up being sent into Chyna, so she accidentally low blows Eddie, allowing Saturn to hit the brainbuster and get the win in 5:07.
Saturn and Malenko leave as Chyna realizes what's happened, then cut to the back where E&C are in the hallway talking about taking advantage of dumb kids and getting their money, before Cole walks up to ask why they'd want to defend their titles in a triple threat. Christian comes back asking why Cole would dye his hair like a 14 year old girl, then says they're the fightingest champions of all time, it's what they do. Edge says it's not about the Acolytes or the Hardyz, it's about the fans, and for the citizens of Cleveland who can afford flash photography, they have a special surprise in store for them. That match is next.
Triple Threat Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Edge & Christian (c) vs The Hardy Boyz vs The Acolytes
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We're told by J.R. that Shane's been taken to a local medical facility as the champs come out. Christian gets the mic and says they have a treat for Cleveland. Edge says that for the benefit of those with flash photography, they're going to unveil a very special new pose, for 5 seconds only of course, and they call it a Cleveland Indians Relief Pitcher. I guess it's a baseball reference I don't get. Hardyz come out before much else can happen though, followed by the APA.
E&C had left the ring as Hardyz came out, so they and the APA start going at it as the bell is rung, with Matt and Bradshaw officially starting out, Matt sent off the ropes into a big boot, then an elbow, cover and Christian breaks it up. Christian slips out and Edge gets the blind tag on Bradshaw. Farooq gets a cheap shot in on Matt as Edge comes in with a clothesline, cover but Bradshaw immediately breaks it up. He and Farooq stomp away at Edge while Matt tags in Jeff, Edge sent into the corner and Hardyz hit Poetry in Motion. Jeff with the cover and a near fall. eff off the ropes, sent up and over by Edge and he damn near gets launched right over the ropes, but just narrowly lands chest/legs first, getting hung up and dropping back into the ring.
Christian tags in, scoop slam by Edge and double headbutt, cover and a kick out. Jeff whipped into the corner, foot up, then Whisper in the Wind. Edge gets the tag and so does Matt, hits a neckbreaker, then dropkicks Bradshaw off the apron, Jeff following up with a slingshot crossbody to the outside. APA go after Jeff while Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Edge, makes the cover but gets mad at the ref while his attention is turned to the fight at ringside. Christian hits the Unprettier, Edge rolls over for the cover and champs retain in 2:26.
Champs make their escape with titles in hand before going to commercial.
Back from break, we go to the locker room where Vince is giving Benoit a pep talk, wanting him to make Rock squeal before Cole walks in wanting a word with Benoit before the match, so Vince obliges and leaves the room. He starts by asking what they were talking about to which Benoit tells him it's none of his damn business, bringing up his upcoming match briefly, before mentioning how people believe he shouldn't be IC Champion. He says he's sick and tired of being asked the same damn question, reiterating that he's the IC Champion, and he possesses the most devastating submission hold in the WWF, and what he's going to do to Rock tonight is a preview of what's in store for Jericho at the PPV. Then he asks Cole how many submission holds Rock uses, to which Cole stammers to find an answer, Benoit retorts with "exactly" and walks off. Rock is on his way to the ring for the match up next.
Submission Match: Chris Benoit (WWF Intercontinental Champion) vs The Rock (WWF Champion)
HHH and Steph come out on stage right before the bell for a distraction, allowing Benoit to get a cheap shot in, boots in the corner, rights and more stomps. Rock fights back with elbows and boots until Benoit gets him with a dragon screw, then tries to apply an STF but Rock quickly gets to the rope before slamming Rock's knee into the mat. Rock fights back up to one leg as Benoit holds the other, but Benoit nails him with a couple of rights, comes off the ropes into a DDT from Rock. Rock with more boots to the ribs, shots in the corner, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes and goes for a hip toss but Rock blocks, now trading more shots back and forth until Rock takes him down with an arm drag and applies an armbar but Benoit inches and gets his foot on the bottom rope to force a break.
Rock with more boots to the ribs and rights, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes and delivers a knee to the midsection. Another boot to the head and now Vince makes his way out as Benoit delivers a snap suplex then a back suplex. Benoit gets Rock in the Sharpshooter but Rock gets to the rope in time. Benoit with another boot to the head, Rock reverses a whip off the ropes and nails a forearm. Rock sent into the corner chest first and backs up into Benoit German suplexes, delivering two before Rock elbows out of a third. Benoit tries to pull Rock down into a crossface but Rock fights out, ducks a clothesline and delivers Rock Bottom.
Ref starts a 10 count, despite the fact that, as J.R. points out, this can only end in submission. Rock with rapid rights into the corner as they get back up, then Benoit with chops, Rock pulls back on an Irish whip to deliver a spinebuster, then lock in the figure 4. Steph climbs the apron and HHH slips in from the other to pull Benoit to the ropes so Benoit can get the break.
Rock knocks HHH off the apron which allows Benoit to pull Rock into the Crossface and Vince calls for the bell even though Rock hasn't tapped, so Benoit wins via Screwjob (again) in 6:51.
Benoit keeps the hold and Vince orders Lilian to announce Benoit as the winner via submission, as he and HHH continue the beat down in the ring. Rock fights back with right hands, then gets distracted as Vince slides in, only to be chased out. Vince tries to head to the back but out comes Jericho, forcing Vince to go back to the ring. Rock tries to pull him back in but HHH is back up and clubs him from behind. Jericho in now and tries for a Pedigree but Jericho gets him in the Walls, and HHH is tapping. Rock delivers the Rock Bottom a second time to Benoit. DX rush down with X-Pac breaking up the Walls but the Dudleyz run down with a table to help even the odds. D-Von sets up the table and everyone clears out but HHH and Rock, who trade rights, and HHH is sent through the table with a Rock Bottom. Rock's music as he poses with his title in the corner, then we get a replay of HHH going through the table, one more pose in the corner by Rock to close the show.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
This was an... OK show I suppose. The action had it's good and it's bad. Had a hardcore match that was fun, the main event was good until the repeated the same finish from last week, which is overused to begin with. The ending brawl was admittedly kinda fun though. Then there's the fact that Shawn's been added to the PPV main event because... reasons. Maybe it'll make more sense to me later but right now, it doesn't add anything but it also doesn't make it any worse, so whatever. That said, with a runtime of 1:33:06, this show had a total 29:21 of wrestling.
Smackdown
Smackdown comes to us from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan this week. Cole welcomes us to the show, and of course we start off with the McMahon-Helmsley Faction making their way out to the ring. First to speak is Steph and she calls on Jericho, saying he's going to be sorry he ever spoke her name, let alone disparaged it, announcing that tonight Benoit, the man who make him scream into submission at the PPV, will team with the unforgiven Hardcore Holly to face Jericho and a partner of his choosing.
Shane takes the mic now and says he's not in the greatest of moods, and not at 100% physically, but he's going to honor the challenge he made on Monday and confirms he'll be facing Show one on one with no DQ, while the crowd start a loud "Shane's a pussy" chant. Shane thanks them for the compliment, and while he's hurt, he's not trying to back out of the match, in fact he's starting to psych up, get pumped up, then shows us the footage of what Show did to him on Raw. Shane hands it to Show for his superhuman strength, but says any normal mortal would not be standing in the ring in front of everyone, repeating that he's like a lion and is going to rip Show's heart out on Sunday. Then he announces that in addition to the match at the PPV, he challenges Show to a match tonight, much to the shock of his family who are now trying to talk him out of it, but they all congratulate him.
HHH takes the mic now and says that if that makes them happy, he has something to make them happier, then plays the footage of HHH being put through the table at the end of Raw, prompting a loud Rocky chant. He says it's sickening how they revel in his pain, his anguish, so tonight he's going to revel in theirs, because no matter how much they chant, when the show goes off the air, it's gonna be a whole lot different from the footage, and when Judgement Day is over he assures them that no one will be happy about the outcome, which prompts a loud "asshole" chant. HHH does his same promo about the Ironman Match, going over how it works, but also tells us that if there happens to be a tie, Rock will indeed retain the title. He tells them not to get excited because there will be no tie, and no happy ending for the fans, reminding us that he is the Game, and will once again be the WWF Champion because he is that damn good.
Vince takes the mic now and called that inspiring, and asks the crowd to show one ounce of respect, and says there's now question his charming, darling wife has made some popular decisions in the past, reminding us that she reinstated Austin at one point, and his benevolent wife gave Foley his Wrestlemania match, and it was his charming, gullible wife who appointed HBK the spokesperson of the WWF and special guest referee for the title match. He says he has to now question her wisdom, reminding us that Shawn is who started DX, and there's no question that his conduct through the years has been very volatile, and hopes Shawn uses good judgement at the PPV, or else, that the only way he can see Rock leaving with the title is if Rock makes a deal with the devil himself, but he has it on good authority that the devil is unavailable and real busy. That leads us to tonight, and he says history will be made tonight, that there'll be a Lumberjack Handicap Tables Match, pitting Rock against the Dudley Boyz. Vince's music much to the mixed reaction of the fans into commercial.
We cut to Crash who's come to the APA's office looking to do business. He says he can't sleep, eat, he's getting attacked by women, he just wants a nap, an hour's rest, so he pays them for an hour's worth of protection to sleep in the corner.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs Kurt Angle
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Angle comes out with mic in hand as always, starts off by saying that when he was in the Olympics, which he won for all of us, he thought he'd seen every single wrestling hold and move that you could possibly see, but he was wrong. He says he discovered a move, well not so much a move, but something that would make the Stinkface almost as technical as a German suplex, the single most insulting move to all the wrestlers across the country, The Worm. He says it's not a sanctioned wrestling move, and if he himself were to use it in the 1996 Olympic Games, it would be so embarrassing to all the other athletes, and the country mind you, that the US would have finished behind Guam, perhaps even dead last, and the fans would not have an Olympic hero to look up to, which would be a shame. He says they'd then be forced to cheer for the Detroit Tigers, it's true, it's true.
Quick back and forth to start, Scotty gets the advantage with a suplex and a kip up in the exchange. Kurt charges toward Scotty in the corner but he sidesteps and delivers a right, before being sent up and over to the apron, Scotty drops to the floor and trips up Kurt before pulling him crotch first into the ring post. Scotty goes up top and nails a missile dropkick, cover and a two count. Kurt sent into the corner but Scotty goes shoulder first into the ring post, Kurt with a back suplex, cover and a kick out. Scotty sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline but then take each other out with simultaneous clotheslines.
Back up, Scotty with rights, Kurt sent off the ropes into a spinning back elbow. Kurt off the ropes again into a back body drop. Kurt whipped into the corner and Scotty off the ropes with a bulldog followed by The Worm, sending Kurt out of the ring. Kurt gets tossed back in and Scotty leaps onto his shoulders to attempt a victory roll, but Kurt drops down instead for a roll up and the clean win in 3:07.
Kurt rolls out and heads to the back celebrating as Scotty looks on in shock. Then we cut to the APA office, where Bradshaw walks back in from the washroom as Crash snores away into commercial.
Back from break, Chyna comes out despite not being scheduled according to commentary and she takes the mic. She announces that there will no longer be a Triple Threat at the PPV, because the winner of the next match will face Eddie one on one for the title instead. She then proceeds to do the ring introductions, starting with the man who has the uncanny ability to hunt birds and squirrels at the same time, Perry Saturn, to his confusion, and his opponent, the Light, Light, Light, Light Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Personality, Mr. Charisma, stay awake for Dean Malenko. On top of this, the match now has a special guest referee as well, the European Champion, her love machine, he's got more Latino Heat than any WWF superstar, Eddie Guerrero.
Perry Saturn vs Dean Malenko (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion); Special Guest Referee: Eddie Guerrero (WWF European Champion) (w/ Chyna)
Winner faces Eddie for the European Title at Judgement Day.
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Chyna proceeds to do the ring introductions, starting with the man who has the uncanny ability to hunt birds and squirrels at the same time, Perry Saturn, to his confusion, and his opponent, the Light, Light, Light, Light Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Personality, Mr. Charisma, stay awake for Dean Malenko.
Back and forth to start with some chain wrestling, including several back and forth pin attempts and roll ups. Malenko offers a handshake but Saturn gets him with a cheap shot instead, then some rights hands, Dean sent off the ropes, tries to catch Saturn with a crucifix but he's caught instead, pressed up over his head but Dean slips free, exchange waist locks until Dean elbows free, comes off the ropes into a roll up for a kick out and a fast count from Eddie. Saturn face first in the corner, Dean with boots and stomps, Saturn reverses a whip off the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Dean hangs on and Saturn falls flat on his back. Dean tries for the Cloverleaf but Saturn gets to the ropes before he can roll him over and tosses Dean up through the ropes to the outside.
Dean climbs back on the apron but gets yanked back down by Saturn, sending him face first into it before getting tossed back in, Saturn with a clothesline, cover and a kick out. Right hands by Saturn in the corner, Eddie tries to pull them apart but gets shoved by Saturn, so he shoves Saturn from behind. Saturn goes after Eddie, so Dean picks up the European Title and clocks Saturn with it when he turns around. Dean drops the title and goes for the cover, but Eddie picks it back up, waits for Dean to get up and turn around and hits him with it now. Eddie calls for the bell, and this match ends in... currently unknown in 3:40.
Chyna takes the mic and says the match is declared a draw, and therefore, notwithstanding the physical condition of Malenko and Saturn, they'll both face Eddie for the title at the PPV. Eddie just laughs it up, so clearly this was all a ruse by Eddie and Chyna, outsmarting his opponents on Sunday into commercial.
The WWF Rewind this week is Shawn's announcement on Raw, then shoving Vince on his ass, before we get to our next match.
Christian (1/2 of WWF Tag Team Champions) vs Grandmaster Sexay
Christian with a cheap shot from behind as Sexay poses in the corner, knocking him to the outside to start this match. Sexay reverses a whip toward the steel steps but Christian stops himself, then launches Sexay up, sending him face first into the steps. Sexay ducks a clothesline and picks Christian up, sending him crotch first into the ring post before going back in the ring. Inverted atomic drop by Sexay, then a clothesline, cover and a near fall.
Now some quick back and forth until Sexay connects with a full nelson facebuster. Christian pulls himself up in the corner, Sexay charges for a splash but hits the top turnbuckle face first, which Christian follows up with an inverted DDT. Christian stomping away now, Sexay sent off the ropes into a powerslam, cover and a near fall. Sexay sent toward the corner, he leaps to the second rope, into a crossbody and a cover and another near fall. Trading arm wringers until Christian delivers a Russian leg sweep. Headlock take down, then some rights, choking Sexay in the corner followed by a back breaker, cover and a kick out.
Christian with a scoop slam, then lifts Sexay up top, but Sexay starts to fight back with rights before delivering a bulldog. Sexay blocks a clothesline and delivers more rights, Christian reverses a whip off the ropes, but Sexay gets him with a sitout powerbomb, cover and a two count. Sexay sent into the corner, but he gets a boot up. Sxay grabs his goggles before going up top, but Christian tosses him back down. Christian with the waist lock pushes Sexay off the ropes for a roll up, but Sexay reverses it for one of his own with a handful of tights to get the win in 4:41.
Sexay takes his leave much to Christian's dismay and we get a replay of the closing moment. Then we cut back to APA, Crash still sleeping like a baby and they have a visitor, the ho who won the Hardcore Title on Raw. She's here to get her title back and has a ref with her, but Bradshaw gets in her way, telling her to get her shaply ass and the ref's non-shapely ass out of there, so she storms off into commercial.
Back from break, Val Venis comes out despite the fact he wasn't supposed to be part of this next match. Val takes the mic and says the past two months he's been suppressed by the single, most repressive regime in the history of the WWF. He says week after week after every damn week, as he strolled through the arena doors, he heard the exact same excuse: "Val, as of right now we just don't have any plans for you." He says as of tonight, he's decided he'll make his own damn plans. He reminds us of what happened last year, when his waist was decorated in IC gold, so he issues a challenge for the next Raw, to whoever is the IC Champion after the PPV.
On cue, out comes Benoit with mic in hand and makes it clear there's no doubt in his mind that after the PPV, he will still be champion. He says it's good for him that he's held IC gold, that he feels like he's been passed over, but gives Val his title shot nonetheless, except he thinks they should have there and then instead.
Jericho doesn't let this go to much longer as his music hits and out he comes with mic in hand and says there's just one little problem, that while Benoit's on his way to retaining that title, he may run into a bit of a roadblock, a wall, because after he experiences the Walls of Jericho, he's not gonna have to worry about that title, because the Crippler is going to become the Crippled. He says after Sunday, after Y2Judgement Day, the only way he's going to properly walk is if he's cooking Chinese food. He says on Monday it's going to be the Big Lebowski vs The Big Bad Mamma Jamma, so looks like either way we have an IC Title match set for Raw.
Now Hardcore comes out with a mic and tells Jericho to shut his hole for a minute, then asks Val what gives him the right to come out and start making challenges, that if anyone has the right it's himself, that he should be the one facing the winner on Monday. Jericho calls him Bald-core and tells him to hold on a minute, and says that since Steph, who just happens to be a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding, trash bag ho, wants him to choose a partner, and since Val is so unhappy and more importantly there, he chooses Val as his partner, then immediately goes after Hardcore in the aisle as Val kicks Benoit to start the match.
Chris Jericho & Val Venis vs Chris Benoit (WWF Intercontinental Champion) & Hardcore Holly
Val sends Benoit off the ropes, slips through the legs, Val catches a kick and delivers an inverted atomic drop, off the ropes with a clothesline, cover and a near fall, meanwhile Jericho and Hardcore are still fighting at ringside. Benoit with chops now, but sent off the ropes into a powerslam, cover but Hardcore slides in to break it up, before Val knocks him back to the outside. Val grabs Benoit for a suplex but delivers one of his own before he can even try. Val face first in the corner for more chops, Val sent off the ropes and take each other out with simultaneous clotheslines.
Jericho gets the hot tag and delivers rights to Hardcore and Benoit, then a bulldog on Benoit. Chops, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes, Jericho takes him out with an elbow and hits the Lionsault. Jericho makes the cover but Hardcore breaks it up. Val goes after Hardcore now with stomps, clotheslining them both over the ropes to the floor. Benoit boots Jericho in the ribs a couple times, but catches him on the third trips him up and gets Benoit in the Walls. Meanwhile Hardcore hits Val over the head with a chair at ringside, then slides in and hits Jericho with it for the DQ in 2:18.
Jericho slides out, then Hardcore and Benoit acknowledge each other, before Hardcore blindsides Benoit with a chair shot, then several shots to the knee, now boots to the knee and a shin breaker until referees run down to pull Holly off. His music hits as he looks on pleased as Benoit holds his knee crying out in pain. We get replays of Holly's attack as a stretcher is brought down with EMTs and we go to commercial.
Back from break, more replays of Holly's numerous chair shots to Jericho, Val and Benoit, then to Benoit being tended to by doctor's in the back and tries to shove them away, before we go to our next match.
Edge (1/2 of WWF Tag Team Champions) (w/ 1/2 of Tag Team Champions Christian & Kurt Angle) vs Rikishi (w/ Too Cool)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Christian's out this time decked out in Detroit Red Wings hockey gear, grabs the mic and says they so hate to disappoint their fans and they're not gonna let them down tonight. Edge takes the mic now and says for the benefit of flash photography, they're going to unveil a brand new pose, for 5 seconds only, called The NHL's Greatest Moments. Edge takes off his jacket to reveal... I think it's an Avalanche jersey, and Kurt hands him a hockey stick, which he uses to slapshot an imaginary puck through the legs of goalie Christian Rikishi makes his way out before much else can happen though with Too Coll by his side. This is the rubber match, with Sexay and Kurt having won their matches earlier in the night. We also learn that the Shane/Big Show match will be right after this one.
Edge rushes Kish, ducks a clothesline, Kish blocks a right hand and drops Edge with a couple of his own. Edge sent into the corner, Kish slams his ass into Edge to set up for the Stinkface already, but Christian hands him his goalie helmet saving Edge from Kish's ass. Kish turns around to see this and catches Edge in a Samoan drop. Kish puts on the helmet, then starts to drag Edge before Kurt and Christian rush the ring, then Too Cool, and the ref calls for the bell in 1:16. Kish would be announced as the winner by DQ after the brawl.
Kish and Too Cool clear the ring in no time as their music hits and EC&K head up the ramp, Kish removing the helmet and proceed to do their dancing. EC&K take advantage of this and rush the ring to ambush, Kish gets nailed with the title belt and Christian slams it down repeatedly into him, with the heels standing tall. Then they proceed to do mock Too Cool's dancing, but quickly escape when they come to and rush to the back.
Catching back up with APA with Crash still sleeping away, and Farooq's had enough of the snoring, as Bradshaw wins the hand with 2 pair and goes to commercial.
The Smack of the Night is Shane being thrown into the WWF.com sign on Raw, giving us several replays. Then Brisco arrives at the APA office with a child.... oh wait, I guess I'm not up on my 2000s pop culture, it's actually Joe C. Brisco makes the same mistake calling him "little guy" and apparently he knows APA and wanted to come say hi, and he tells Brisco to get his hand off him, telling him who he is before going over to APA and give him a beer. They decide to leave seeing as Crash's hour is up, and I think Joe calls Brisco an asshole or something, it gets bleeped out, and he looks over to Crash before going back to the arena.
The Big Show vs Shane McMahon
Well Shane comes out as promised with mic in hand, in regular clothing, and tells Show he's misplaced his gear, but assures him that at the PPV, Show will not have to ask which way Shane went, because he'll be there, gear and all to take Show out. He says it seems like every time Shane's around him with his cheetah-like speed, he seems to run circles around Show, and it doesn't make him look like The Big Show at all, rather The Big Slow, so tonight Shane wants to find out just how fast Show is, and announces that Show will run the gauntlet instead, and brings out his two opponents.
The Big Show runs the Gauntlet
T&A (w/ Trish Stratus)
Show takes them both out with a couple of headbutts, then a scoop slam on Albert. They double team with clubs to the back, Show sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline and delivers one of his own. Test is tossed to the outside, and Albert gets a chokeslam. Show tells Shane to bring more down, so Shane says since he has so much energy, the fun is not quite over, and brings out Show's next two opponents. Wait, Show didn't even pin Albert...
Bull Buchanan & The Big Boss Man
Test gets Show from behind with a chop block and we now have 4 on 1 with rights and lefts, Show sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline from Bull and Boss Man, takes T&A out with one, then Bull and Boss Man with another. Shane's back on the mic and says he's not quite done yet, and introduces his next two opponents.
X-Pac & Road Dogg
Bull attacks from behind with Show distracted and now it piles up 6 on 1, while Shane comes down to ringside. Show breaks free and gives out headbutts, rights and clotheslines. Show goes for a double chokeslam on Boss Man and X-Pac but Shane nails Show from behind with a chair, then Bull delivers the scissor kick. Shane sets the chair down while Roadie does Shake, Rattle and Roll, X-Pac delivers X-Factor onto the chair. They pick Show back up and Shane calls for a chokeslam, so he sets the chair up, stands on top, grabs Show by the throat, while T&A lift up Show to simulate a chokeslam. Shane makes the cover and wins in 3:47. Well that was nonsensical.
Shane gets lifted in victory as he celebrates, Show out cold as Shane talks more trash and it goes to commercial.
Back from break, we get a replay of the "chokeslam" by Shane and the celebration. Then we get this.
24/7 Rules Hardcore Championship Defense: Crash Holly (c) vs Gerald Brisco
Brisco is talking backstage with a referee, reiterating that they need to be really quiet since Crash is sleeping, then make their way into APA's office. Brisco walks over, kneels down, then first tries to gingerly place his hand on Crash's chest, but he scares him as he nearly stirs awake. Brisco puts his finger on Crash's chest, the referee makes a very quiet count, and Brisco wins the Hardcore Title.
As Brisco tries to leave quietly, the referee stumbles over one of the chairs set up at the table, which obvious wakes up Crash, so he gives chase with the referee by his side out to the arena.
24/7 Rules Hardcore Championship Defense: Gerald Brisco (c) vs Crash Holly
Brisco tries to leave the ring but Crash grabs him, only to be decked by a left hand, then another and another. Now Crash with rights and boots in the corner. Crash goes out and grabs a trash can and a broom, tossing them in the ring but Brisco tries to escape through the crowd. Brisco face first into the ring post before going back to the ring. Crash with the broom across the back, now Patterson rushes down. Brisco grabs the trash can and nails Crash in the back of the head. They set Crash up in the corner and Patterson gets ready for a Stinkface with clean underwear, but Crash gets up and delivers a low blow instead, then jabs the broken broom handle into his ass. Crash runs off to the back in pursuit of Brisco, so he retains his title for now.
We get a replay of what just happened with Patterson. Meanwhile, Kevin Kelly is standing by outside Rock's locker room, which is up next. Brisco runs by looking over his shoulder just before it cuts away.
Kevin is still waiting for Rock to come out, who recaps the events with Michaels before we get a recap video of his appearance on Raw. In that time, Rock has come out of his dressing room, and Kelly asks for Rock's thoughts now that DQs and countouts will count as falls on Sunday, asking if HHH has a plan. Rock says he does have a plan, the plan of a lifetime, bringing up Shawn, so he tells HHH he can go lick on some monkeys balls. Kelly asks if he's implying that Shawn is in league with HHH, but Rock says he isn't implying anything, telling him to shut his mouth and calls him a jabroni, but what he is saying is that last time he was in the ring with Shawn he cost him the title, so tells Shawn that whatever he thinks about doing, about planning, to remember that Rock never, ever forgets. Then he moves onto HHH, and says he's never forgotten the history they have, how for years they've done it all, every match imaginable, the Cage Matches, the Ladder Matches, the Lumberjack Matches, the Strap Matches, every single match except the Iron Man Match. He says that's why Sunday, for one hour, HHH is going to feel all the Rock's pain, anger, fury, every ounce of sweat, every drop of blood, and tells him to get ready, because he's walking into Judgement Day and walking out undisputed WWF Champion, the People's Champion, then caps it off with his catchphrase. His match is next.
We get a replay of Tori putting Bubba through a table on Raw, before we get to the main event.
Handicap Lumberjack Tables Match: The Rock (WWF Champion) vs The Dudley Boyz; Lumberjacks: Triple H, WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Tori, X-Pac, Road Dogg, Test, Albert, Trish Stratus, The Big Boss Man, Bull Buchanan, WWF Hardcore Champion Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson, Shane McMahon & Vince McMahon
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Roadie and X-Pac come out carrying a table, then T&A have one, as do Bull and Boss Man, setting them up, one around ringside and two in the ring. Dudleyz come out with their own table and set it up on at ringside. As Rock comes out, Dudleyz prop the tables up in opposite corners to clear space in the ring. Cole explains that Rock has to put both Dudleyz through a table to win this match. This is also not a tornado rules match for... reasons.
Bubba starts it out and starts with rights, Rock reverses a whip off the ropes and hits a back elbow. Bubba is sent off the ropes, tripped up by Test allowing Rock to nail him from behind and send him to the outside. Lumberjacks are immediately on the attack and send Bubba back in. Rights by Rock in the corner now, Bubba reverses a whip off the corner and delivers a sidewalk slam. D-Von tags in and delivers the diving headbutt from up top between the Rock's legs. D-Von now with rights, Rock sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, delivers rights and sends D-Von to the outside. Bubba runs in to try and attack but Rock sends him out to, and the lumberjacks immediately on the attack. X-Pac pulls Rock out though and now they attack before all three are tossed back in.
They all look at each other, then the lumberjacks and realize the common enemy, exiting the ring and going after the lumberjacks now. Bull accidentally nails Boss Man with a nightstick, then Rock nails Bull with it, then Boss Man. HHH on the attack now, but Rock fights back with rights, then one for Brisco, then HHH into the barricade. Dudleyz suplex Albert on the ramp before Rock chokes HHH with a cable by the announce table. X-Pac and Roadie come over to help while Bubba sets Test up on the table outside, D-Von goes up top and drives him through the table with a diving headbutt. Rock is being choked by Roadie until the Dudleyz come back and fight DX now, HHH face first off the announce table. Dudleyz set the tables back up while Rock low blows HHH. Bubba puts X-Pac on the table and goes to the middle rope, but Tori comes from behind with a low blow, allowing X-Pac to deliver an X-Factor from the middle rope through the table, then Roadie powerbombs D-Von through another table. HHH has the upperhand on Rock at ringside as the Stooges set up another table in the Rock while Rock is sent face first into the steps, then rolled into the ring.
Rock manages to fight back with rights on HHH and DX, then Boss Man, then sends Bull through a table with a spinebuster. HHH now from behindwith rights, goes to deliver Rock Bottom through a table but X-Pac clubs him from behind and delivers a spinning heel kick. HHH puts Rock through the table with a Rock Bottom now. Vince takes the mic from Chimmel and announces DX as the winner, but really Rock should have won seeing as the Dudleyz went through tables first in... Well this whole thing went on for about 6:45, but the match technically ended before this.
DX's music hits as HHH talks some trash, with Rock laid out. Vince dances at ringside as we get a replay of DX's Rock Bottom, plus Vince's reaction. The show closes with the regime posing at the top of the stage.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Well this was... a mixed bag. I liked the Too Cool vs EC&K matches, although the last one was kind of a waste of time. I liked Eddie outsmarting his challengers, and this main event, while kind of a clusterfuck was fun to watch. Of course though, we had that "Gauntlet" match, and while I enjoyed the Brisco/Crash shenanigans, it's hard to look past the fact that we have a horrible end game to this at the next month's PPV. There's also this injury angle with Benoit and Holly I don't quite understand, but regardless of the outcome at the PPV, we have an IC Title match set for next week's Raw, which is a plus. As a side note, there was not a single vignette for Undertaker's return this week, even though he's set to return at the PPV. That said, with a run time of 1:26:43, this show had a total 25:34 of wrestling.
Speaking of the PPV, it has an admittedly pretty damn good but short card, although it's only short because of the one hour main event.
MATCH CARD FOR WWF JUDGEMENT DAY 2000
- 60-Minute Iron Man Match for the WWF Championship: The Rock (c) vs Triple H
Shawn Michaels as Special Guest Referee.
- Tag Team Tables Match: The Dudley Boyz vs Road Dogg & X-Pac
- Submission Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Chris Benoit (c) vs Chris Jericho
- No Disqualification Match: Shane McMahon vs The Big Show
- Triple Threat Match for the European Championship: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko vs Perry Saturn
- Too Cool & Rikishi vs Edge, Christian (WWF Tag Team Champions) & Kurt Angle
We're live from the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio this week for Monday Night Raw. Lawler and J.R. welcome us to the show, then we cut to the Rock arriving at the arena, before... Well, we suddenly have an appearance from HBK, the Commissioner who hasn't been seen in months. He reminds everyone who he is, at one time called the greatest wrestler that ever lived, but now the Commissioner. He says that a lot has happened that people should have been punished for and that's his fault, he says he's got a lot of priorities in his life right now, one being his wrestling school, his own wrestling promotion and more importantly his wife and 4-month old baby boy, but because of all that he hasn't been good at his job. He takes this time to retire, resign as the Commissioner, because of what's gone on is his fault. He brings up the first episode of Smackdown back in August, he's the guy that started it all, and he plays the footage where he delivered Sweet Chin Music to the Rock during a WWF Title match with HHH as the special referee.
Before he can say anything else,Vince comes out with the biggest smile on his face and an asshole chant starts up immediately. Vince asks them not to ruin this moment, calling what we saw the greatest archival footage in WWF history, and he can't believe Shawn's there. He says he didn't invite him, but asks since when does HBK need an invitation anyways. Shawn says he was invited though by Linda, and he came two announcements, one of course being his resignation as Commissioner, but also thanks to Linda he's now the official Spokesperson of the WWF. His other announcement has to do with the WWF Title match coming Sunday, and seeing as he made the Iron Man Match famous, the only man in the WWF to go those 60 Minutes, so he's going to be the special referee at the PPV.
Vince says he's been caught off guard, but admits that at one time Shawn was one of the greatest WWF Champions of all time, as well as the most resilient, but wonders how resilient he is now. So Shawn responds by shoving Vince on his ass, and Shawn's music hits before leaving the ring and heading to the back into commercial.
Back from break we get a replay of the announcement and shove moments ago, then footage of Shawn leaving the arena during the break in a limo just as DX is arriving. Show walks up asking if Shane's with them, but he's not and HHH says to just wait for him, he'll be there soon.
The Dudley Boyz vs Al Snow & Steve Blackman
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: J.R. tells us the Dudleyz will face DX in a Tables Match at the PPV, then we go to the back where Blackman and Snow are heading to the ring. Blackman thanks god that the Head Cheese crap is behind them, and Snow wonders why he even brings it up, pointing out that he doesn't carry head any more, and Blackman doesn't have an affinity for cheese. Blackman denies ever having an affinity for cheese, while Snow starts to meditate, because it's what serious people do. We also learn that we have Angle vs Rikishi, a Hardcore Title match, Jericho vs Hardcore Holly in a Hardcore Match, plus Eddie/Chyna vs Malenko/Saturn and a Tag Title match scheduled for the show.
Snow and D-Von start this out with some quick back and forth, and DX comes out on the stage almost immediately, while Snow delivers kicks to the midsection, D-Vons ent off the ropes, ducks an elbow and nails a spinning back one of his own. Bubba in now, Snow reverses a whip off the ropes and hits a back drop, followed by clotheslines. Blackman gets the tag, Bubba reverses a whip off the ropes, Blackman ducks a back elbow, Bubba ducks a spinning heel kick, Blackman with some kicks and off the ropes into a sidewalk slam. Bubba gets Snow mad to distract the referee, setting D-Von up to deliver the diving headbutt between the legs.
Blackman reverses a whip off the ropes and Snow trips up D-Von, pulling him out for a wheelbarrow facebuster on the steel ramp. D-Von sent off the ropes by both Snow and Blackman back in the ring, D-Von ducks elbows and nails a double clothesline. Bubba gets the tag, back drop on Snow, back suplex on Blackman. D-Von tagged in, they send Snow off the ropes and Blackman nails Bubba with a dropkick, then... something got screwed up because this ending sequence became a mess. Either way, Bubba slides back in to hit Snow with the 3D for the win in 3:07. Not a great match to be honest.
Blackman nails D-Von from behind and DX run down as Blackman is tossed to the outside. X-Pac with a low blow and an X-Factor on Bubbam, then Roadie pulls out a table, set it up and put Bubba on it on the outside, while Tori goes up top and splashes Bubba through the table. DX's music hits while she crotch chops and flips off Bubba and they head to the back.
We get a replay of what just happened coming back from break. Then we catch up with the Dudleyz somewhere in the back, where Bubba's in his crazed trance with D-Von trying to snap him out of it to no use.
Now out comes Steph with mic in hand, and she says she's so proud of Tori, standing up for herself and putting Bubba through the table. She says Tori's not the only women in WWF that's suffered humiliation and degradation though, reminding us how she herself almost suffered the most humiliating and violating thing in her life, playing the footage from Smackdown where she almost got the Stinkface. She's horrified at the thought of having Kish's bulbous, smelly, sweaty bottom in her pristine, beautiful face, calling the Stinkface the most revolting and repulsive move, and Kish will regret it, because tonight he's facing someone who feels the exact same way she does.
Kurt comes out with a mic now as she heads to the back, and he starts by saying he's sickened by the Stinkface too, and isn't even sure how it got started. He suggests that maybe it's how Samoans greet each other, he isn't sure, but he does know that while rubbing your butt in someone's face might be suitable behavior in simple places like Samoa, and Cleveland as well, supposing that it's how the Browns got their name, the fact is the Stinkface is not a sanctioned wrestling move, and therefore doesn't belong in the ring, and that is true. As Kish comes out, J.R. tells us that he and Too Cool will face Angle and E&C at the PPV in a 6-man tag.
Kurt Angle vs Rikishi
Angle tries to get the jump on Kish but gets dropped by some rights instead to start this match, until Kurt rakes the eyes, tries to lift Kish but to no avail, Kish with a scoop slam an a leg drop. Kurt sent off the ropes, back drop, Kurt goes for a sunset flip but can't pull him down. Kish drops down but Kurt roll out of the way, meanwhile Patterson and E&C have appeared on the stage as Kish sends Kurt into the ropes for a clothesline, setting Kurt up for a Stinkface. E&C run down before Kish can do it though only to be taken out by clotheslines, ref calls for the bell and Kish wins by DQ in 1:06.
Kurt, then Christian, then Edge all whipped into the same corner, followed by Kish with a hip attack. Too Cool come down and take out Patterson before evening the odds in the ring, all getting tossed out of the ring as Too Cool's music hits, then they get their dancing in.
Then we cut to Big Show still waiting on Shane in the parking lot, while we see Show being put through a table on last week's Smackdown along with Shane's attack into commercial.
WWF Hardcore Championship: The Godfather vs Crash (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Crash wastes no time loading the ring up with some weapons before the bell, sliding in a stop sign and brooms before being met with a stomp as he slides in to start the match.
Crash sent off the ropes into a shoulder block, then off the ropes again into a boot. Godfather hits him over the head with the broom, then a scoop slam, then goes for an elbow but Crash moves out of the way. Crash now with right hands, then Godfather reverses a whip off the ropes to send Crash to the outside. Crash is whipped right into his scale that he brought out before Godfather drops him chest first onto the barricade before going back to the ring.
Crash comes off the ropes but gets caught with a powerslam. Godfather goes for the Ho Train in the corner but Crash picks up the stop sign to shield the blow. D'Lo runs down and clubs Crash in the back of the head, then goes up top for the Lo Down on Godfather, then a Sky High on Crash for a pin, but Godfather breaks it up. D'Lo is sent up and over to the outside by Godfather, while one of the hos slides into the ring, covers Crash and wins the title in 2:36. Her title reign lasts all of 5 seconds as Crash rolls her up immediately and wins the title back.
Crash escapes as Godfather tries to get him and runs to the back, then we cut to HHH, Steph and Vince on their way to the ring. Then we have Show still waiting on Shane in the parking lot into commercial.
As expected, out they come to the ring. Vince announces that tonight Rock will face Benoit tonight in a Submission Match, and HHH points out Rock doesn't have any submission moves. Then he says Rock is going to come out and answer his challenge, but wants to make it clear what Rock is getting into, no question, no excuse, repeating his challenge. He says this isn't about catchphrases, cliches, or gimmicks, there won't be excuses, because this is the one match that no one wants to touch, that no one in their right mind wants to try to do, because they don't have the ability to do it. He says Rock has to ask himself if he has that ability, because there's no question that he himself does and then some. He says when Judgement Day is over, one man will walk from the ring the very best. the greatest, the undisputed WWF Champion, and it will be the Game, HHH. He says as far as Shawn goes, they have quite a past, one hell of a ride, but when he sees Shawn in the ring talking like he did tonight, HHH has to ask himself if he and Shawn even have a present, but there is one thing there's no question of, which is if he doesn't call the match the way it should be called, he guarantees that Shawn will have no future.
He goes to say something about the signs in the crowd, but he's interrupted by Rock's music and out he comes. He does his usual shtick and says HHH has been running his mouth the past week, challenging him to an Ironman Match, and since he's officially back on Raw, he's officially going to kick HHH's ass at Judgement Day. He says that he realizes there's something deep down inside HHH that eats him alive, makes him wake up in a cold sweat, make him have nightmares, which is that as good as HHH is, Rock is simply better, and at Judgement Day he's going to prove that. Then he brings up Shawn, who comes out and dances, prances, runs his mouth, all of a sudden he is the guest referee, and Rock smells a rat from the word go, bringing up how Shawn screwed him last time all three of them were involved together. He tells Shawn he better call it straight down the middle or Rock will take his boot and shove it straight up Shawn's candy ass.
Rock turns his attention now to tonight, saying Vince wants to do all he can to Rock before Sunday, throw everything at him, and says one way or the other, as he always does, he's going to get the job done. Then he says while HHH thinks an hour is too much for Rock to handle, considering what he's gonna do, an hour isn't long enough. Rock caps it off with his catchphrase before his music hits and he goes to the back.
Up next, Jericho in action.
Hardcore Match: Chris Jericho vs Hardcore Holly
Trading rights immediately to start the match into the corner, take down by Chris and more blows. More trading shots in the corner and as the ref tries to separate them for... reasons, all three tumble through the ropes to the outside. Jericho with chops and more trading shots until Jericho is whipped into the steps, then lures Holly into a drop toe hold into the bottom half of the steps. Jericho grabs a chair by commentary and swings for his head but connects with the ring post, before being hit with a clothesline.
Holly tosses Jericho in the ring and goes to join him with chair in hand, but Jericho knocks it back into him with a baseball slide, then starts to choke Holly with a camera cable. Holly tossed over the barricade and they start fighting through the crowd until Jericho eventually gets back dropped back over to ringside. Holly now pulls out a leather strap from under the ring and starts to whip Jericho across the back before tossing him back in the ring, bringing a trash can in with him.
Holly goes up top with trash can in hand only to get it dropkicked back in his face midair. Jericho now with the trash can over the head, then applies the Walls until Benoit runs down and gets Jericho in the dragon sleeper. Holly grabs a chair from ringside and Benoit sends Jericho into a shot right to the head, Holly makes the cover and wins in 4:31. Not a bad match, deviated from your typical hardcore match.
We get replays of the closing moments as Holly heads to the back and Jericho lays out cold. Then to the parking lot where Show intercepts a limo, yanking out... somebody not named Shane and it goes to break.
Back from commercial, Shane comes out looking over his shoulder constantly. He asks someone to tell Show that he's not out in the parking lot, so Show can stop asking which way Shane went. He turns his attention to the fans, talking about how he's heard the chant the past few weeks about how he's a pussy, which of course gets bleeped. He says before he takes great exception to that, he looked up pussy in Webster's dictionary, which is clearly defined as "a cat," and he understands why they call him that now because he's quick as a cat, he's got the moves and ferocity of a jungle cat, and he's feeling so frisky that "young Simba" Shane challenges Show to a match at the PPV, with no DQ. He tells Show that after he's defeated him 1-2-3 and Show is lying flat on the canvas, looking up at the bright lights, as the jungle cat sashays down the aisle victorious, the only question that will be left in Show's lobotomized mind is once again "Which way did he go?"
Show interrupts Shane before he can say much else and out he comes. He says Shane just made his day, he doesn't have to hunt him down now, he's got Shane right where he wants him. He says he's not a cat, he's a big, nasty bastard like his shirt says, then asks why he should wait until the PPV and wants to cash in on Shane's 9 lives right now. Shane retreats and says he figured that Show would have all this pent up aggression, so Shane introduces him to his opponents tonight.
T&A (w/ Trish Stratus, Gerald Brisco & Shane McMahon) vs The Big Show
Test starts it out as Show shoves him back, but ducks a clothesline and delivers some rights, off the ropes into a boot from Show followed by a clothesline. Test thrown across the ring until he tags in Albert. Show immediately on the attack, sends Albert off the ropes, he ducks a clothesline but runs right into a powerslam. Show goes for the chokeslam but Test comes in with a chop block, they whip Show across the ring, then Albert whipped into Show, Test follows with a big boot. Double team suplex, cover by Test and a kick out, then Albert with a cover and a kick out.
More rights and clubs, Show sent across the ring into the corner, Albert whipped toward him but Show sidesteps and Albert hits chest first, Show taking down Test with a forearm, then a sidewalk slam for Albert. Chop for Test in the corner, whipped across the ring and Show immediately with a clothesline. Show with boots on Albert in the corner while Trish is heard grabbing a chair from ringside, sliding it in to Test. Show just punches it back into Test's face, then a spinebuster for Albert. Show goes seemingly for a powerbomb but Trish gets in the ring and hits Show with her hat. He grabs her then Brisco comes in to tell him off, and gets a chokeslam for his troubles. Shane grabs the chair and hits Show in the back with it, which doesn't faze him, but the ref calls for the DQ to give Show the win in 3:37.
Shane runs off and Show gives chase to the back, getting hold of Shane and brings him back out, before lifting him off his feet and... well if you remember the WWF.com sign that used to be displayed over the entrance set, Shane gets thrown up into that back/back of the head first and down onto the stage, which gets a loud, audible gasp from the crowd. Show's music hits briefly but T&A are back on the attack, until they get headbutted and his music hits again. We get a replay of Shane being thrown into the crowd from two different angles and it goes to commercial.
Eddie Guerrero (WWF European Champion) & Chyna vs Dean Malenko (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion) & Perry Saturn
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We get yet another couple of replays of Shane being thrown into the WWF.com sign, while J.R. tells us Eddie will defend against Saturn and Malenko at the PPV.
Saturn attacks Eddie immediately in the corner and suplexes him over the ropes to the outside. Chyna gets caught between Malenko and Saturn, taking the former down with a clothesline but Saturn takes her down with one of his own. Malenko stomping away while Saturn goes up top, Malenko delivers a backbreaker but Eddie shoves Saturn off to the floor, then Malenko knocks him off the apron. Chyna sends Malenko face first in the corner, whipped across the ring, and a handspring elbow by Chyna. Eddie tagged in now, launched up and over by Malenko and takes out Saturn with a dropkick, then a back suplex on Malenko as he turns his attention to Chyna on the apron.
Malenko sent off the ropes into a spinning back elbow, then Eddie goes for his slingshot somersault from the apron but gets pulled down by Saturn, who holds him in position with a full nelson while Malenko comes with a baseball slide. Back in the ring, Saturn with knees to the midsection and Malenko tagged back in, Eddie whipped into the corner for a gutbuster. Malenko goes for a pumphandle but Eddie slips behind for a roll up and a near fall followed by a clothesline from Malenko. Saturn back in,, Eddie thrown back first into the corner, now rights by Saturn as Malenkp holds Eddie back. Eddie fights back with rights and elbows but walks right into a flapjack, followed by a scoop slam from Saturn. Saturn goes up top and nails a flying elbow, cover and a two count.
Saturn now with a gutwrench, slams Eddie ribs and chest first in the corner and tries for a superplex but Eddie drops him down, followed by a hurricanrna.Chyna in now with forearms, Saturn sent off the ropes into a clothesline, then one for Malenko as he comes in. Saturn sent off the ropes into a powerslam, then Malenko off the ropes into a back body drop. Chyna gets an ax handle to the back by Saturn, he and Malenko send her off the ropes, they go for a back drop, but she kicks Saturn before delivering a DDT to Malenko. Eddie in now with Saturn in the corner, Chyna with Malenko in the opposite one, there's a miscommunication to whip Saturn and Malenko into each other and Eddie ends up being sent into Chyna, so she accidentally low blows Eddie, allowing Saturn to hit the brainbuster and get the win in 5:07.
Saturn and Malenko leave as Chyna realizes what's happened, then cut to the back where E&C are in the hallway talking about taking advantage of dumb kids and getting their money, before Cole walks up to ask why they'd want to defend their titles in a triple threat. Christian comes back asking why Cole would dye his hair like a 14 year old girl, then says they're the fightingest champions of all time, it's what they do. Edge says it's not about the Acolytes or the Hardyz, it's about the fans, and for the citizens of Cleveland who can afford flash photography, they have a special surprise in store for them. That match is next.
Triple Threat Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Edge & Christian (c) vs The Hardy Boyz vs The Acolytes
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We're told by J.R. that Shane's been taken to a local medical facility as the champs come out. Christian gets the mic and says they have a treat for Cleveland. Edge says that for the benefit of those with flash photography, they're going to unveil a very special new pose, for 5 seconds only of course, and they call it a Cleveland Indians Relief Pitcher. I guess it's a baseball reference I don't get. Hardyz come out before much else can happen though, followed by the APA.
E&C had left the ring as Hardyz came out, so they and the APA start going at it as the bell is rung, with Matt and Bradshaw officially starting out, Matt sent off the ropes into a big boot, then an elbow, cover and Christian breaks it up. Christian slips out and Edge gets the blind tag on Bradshaw. Farooq gets a cheap shot in on Matt as Edge comes in with a clothesline, cover but Bradshaw immediately breaks it up. He and Farooq stomp away at Edge while Matt tags in Jeff, Edge sent into the corner and Hardyz hit Poetry in Motion. Jeff with the cover and a near fall. eff off the ropes, sent up and over by Edge and he damn near gets launched right over the ropes, but just narrowly lands chest/legs first, getting hung up and dropping back into the ring.
Christian tags in, scoop slam by Edge and double headbutt, cover and a kick out. Jeff whipped into the corner, foot up, then Whisper in the Wind. Edge gets the tag and so does Matt, hits a neckbreaker, then dropkicks Bradshaw off the apron, Jeff following up with a slingshot crossbody to the outside. APA go after Jeff while Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Edge, makes the cover but gets mad at the ref while his attention is turned to the fight at ringside. Christian hits the Unprettier, Edge rolls over for the cover and champs retain in 2:26.
Champs make their escape with titles in hand before going to commercial.
Back from break, we go to the locker room where Vince is giving Benoit a pep talk, wanting him to make Rock squeal before Cole walks in wanting a word with Benoit before the match, so Vince obliges and leaves the room. He starts by asking what they were talking about to which Benoit tells him it's none of his damn business, bringing up his upcoming match briefly, before mentioning how people believe he shouldn't be IC Champion. He says he's sick and tired of being asked the same damn question, reiterating that he's the IC Champion, and he possesses the most devastating submission hold in the WWF, and what he's going to do to Rock tonight is a preview of what's in store for Jericho at the PPV. Then he asks Cole how many submission holds Rock uses, to which Cole stammers to find an answer, Benoit retorts with "exactly" and walks off. Rock is on his way to the ring for the match up next.
Submission Match: Chris Benoit (WWF Intercontinental Champion) vs The Rock (WWF Champion)
HHH and Steph come out on stage right before the bell for a distraction, allowing Benoit to get a cheap shot in, boots in the corner, rights and more stomps. Rock fights back with elbows and boots until Benoit gets him with a dragon screw, then tries to apply an STF but Rock quickly gets to the rope before slamming Rock's knee into the mat. Rock fights back up to one leg as Benoit holds the other, but Benoit nails him with a couple of rights, comes off the ropes into a DDT from Rock. Rock with more boots to the ribs, shots in the corner, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes and goes for a hip toss but Rock blocks, now trading more shots back and forth until Rock takes him down with an arm drag and applies an armbar but Benoit inches and gets his foot on the bottom rope to force a break.
Rock with more boots to the ribs and rights, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes and delivers a knee to the midsection. Another boot to the head and now Vince makes his way out as Benoit delivers a snap suplex then a back suplex. Benoit gets Rock in the Sharpshooter but Rock gets to the rope in time. Benoit with another boot to the head, Rock reverses a whip off the ropes and nails a forearm. Rock sent into the corner chest first and backs up into Benoit German suplexes, delivering two before Rock elbows out of a third. Benoit tries to pull Rock down into a crossface but Rock fights out, ducks a clothesline and delivers Rock Bottom.
Ref starts a 10 count, despite the fact that, as J.R. points out, this can only end in submission. Rock with rapid rights into the corner as they get back up, then Benoit with chops, Rock pulls back on an Irish whip to deliver a spinebuster, then lock in the figure 4. Steph climbs the apron and HHH slips in from the other to pull Benoit to the ropes so Benoit can get the break.
Rock knocks HHH off the apron which allows Benoit to pull Rock into the Crossface and Vince calls for the bell even though Rock hasn't tapped, so Benoit wins via Screwjob (again) in 6:51.
Benoit keeps the hold and Vince orders Lilian to announce Benoit as the winner via submission, as he and HHH continue the beat down in the ring. Rock fights back with right hands, then gets distracted as Vince slides in, only to be chased out. Vince tries to head to the back but out comes Jericho, forcing Vince to go back to the ring. Rock tries to pull him back in but HHH is back up and clubs him from behind. Jericho in now and tries for a Pedigree but Jericho gets him in the Walls, and HHH is tapping. Rock delivers the Rock Bottom a second time to Benoit. DX rush down with X-Pac breaking up the Walls but the Dudleyz run down with a table to help even the odds. D-Von sets up the table and everyone clears out but HHH and Rock, who trade rights, and HHH is sent through the table with a Rock Bottom. Rock's music as he poses with his title in the corner, then we get a replay of HHH going through the table, one more pose in the corner by Rock to close the show.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
This was an... OK show I suppose. The action had it's good and it's bad. Had a hardcore match that was fun, the main event was good until the repeated the same finish from last week, which is overused to begin with. The ending brawl was admittedly kinda fun though. Then there's the fact that Shawn's been added to the PPV main event because... reasons. Maybe it'll make more sense to me later but right now, it doesn't add anything but it also doesn't make it any worse, so whatever. That said, with a runtime of 1:33:06, this show had a total 29:21 of wrestling.
Smackdown
Smackdown comes to us from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan this week. Cole welcomes us to the show, and of course we start off with the McMahon-Helmsley Faction making their way out to the ring. First to speak is Steph and she calls on Jericho, saying he's going to be sorry he ever spoke her name, let alone disparaged it, announcing that tonight Benoit, the man who make him scream into submission at the PPV, will team with the unforgiven Hardcore Holly to face Jericho and a partner of his choosing.
Shane takes the mic now and says he's not in the greatest of moods, and not at 100% physically, but he's going to honor the challenge he made on Monday and confirms he'll be facing Show one on one with no DQ, while the crowd start a loud "Shane's a pussy" chant. Shane thanks them for the compliment, and while he's hurt, he's not trying to back out of the match, in fact he's starting to psych up, get pumped up, then shows us the footage of what Show did to him on Raw. Shane hands it to Show for his superhuman strength, but says any normal mortal would not be standing in the ring in front of everyone, repeating that he's like a lion and is going to rip Show's heart out on Sunday. Then he announces that in addition to the match at the PPV, he challenges Show to a match tonight, much to the shock of his family who are now trying to talk him out of it, but they all congratulate him.
HHH takes the mic now and says that if that makes them happy, he has something to make them happier, then plays the footage of HHH being put through the table at the end of Raw, prompting a loud Rocky chant. He says it's sickening how they revel in his pain, his anguish, so tonight he's going to revel in theirs, because no matter how much they chant, when the show goes off the air, it's gonna be a whole lot different from the footage, and when Judgement Day is over he assures them that no one will be happy about the outcome, which prompts a loud "asshole" chant. HHH does his same promo about the Ironman Match, going over how it works, but also tells us that if there happens to be a tie, Rock will indeed retain the title. He tells them not to get excited because there will be no tie, and no happy ending for the fans, reminding us that he is the Game, and will once again be the WWF Champion because he is that damn good.
Vince takes the mic now and called that inspiring, and asks the crowd to show one ounce of respect, and says there's now question his charming, darling wife has made some popular decisions in the past, reminding us that she reinstated Austin at one point, and his benevolent wife gave Foley his Wrestlemania match, and it was his charming, gullible wife who appointed HBK the spokesperson of the WWF and special guest referee for the title match. He says he has to now question her wisdom, reminding us that Shawn is who started DX, and there's no question that his conduct through the years has been very volatile, and hopes Shawn uses good judgement at the PPV, or else, that the only way he can see Rock leaving with the title is if Rock makes a deal with the devil himself, but he has it on good authority that the devil is unavailable and real busy. That leads us to tonight, and he says history will be made tonight, that there'll be a Lumberjack Handicap Tables Match, pitting Rock against the Dudley Boyz. Vince's music much to the mixed reaction of the fans into commercial.
We cut to Crash who's come to the APA's office looking to do business. He says he can't sleep, eat, he's getting attacked by women, he just wants a nap, an hour's rest, so he pays them for an hour's worth of protection to sleep in the corner.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs Kurt Angle
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Angle comes out with mic in hand as always, starts off by saying that when he was in the Olympics, which he won for all of us, he thought he'd seen every single wrestling hold and move that you could possibly see, but he was wrong. He says he discovered a move, well not so much a move, but something that would make the Stinkface almost as technical as a German suplex, the single most insulting move to all the wrestlers across the country, The Worm. He says it's not a sanctioned wrestling move, and if he himself were to use it in the 1996 Olympic Games, it would be so embarrassing to all the other athletes, and the country mind you, that the US would have finished behind Guam, perhaps even dead last, and the fans would not have an Olympic hero to look up to, which would be a shame. He says they'd then be forced to cheer for the Detroit Tigers, it's true, it's true.
Quick back and forth to start, Scotty gets the advantage with a suplex and a kip up in the exchange. Kurt charges toward Scotty in the corner but he sidesteps and delivers a right, before being sent up and over to the apron, Scotty drops to the floor and trips up Kurt before pulling him crotch first into the ring post. Scotty goes up top and nails a missile dropkick, cover and a two count. Kurt sent into the corner but Scotty goes shoulder first into the ring post, Kurt with a back suplex, cover and a kick out. Scotty sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline but then take each other out with simultaneous clotheslines.
Back up, Scotty with rights, Kurt sent off the ropes into a spinning back elbow. Kurt off the ropes again into a back body drop. Kurt whipped into the corner and Scotty off the ropes with a bulldog followed by The Worm, sending Kurt out of the ring. Kurt gets tossed back in and Scotty leaps onto his shoulders to attempt a victory roll, but Kurt drops down instead for a roll up and the clean win in 3:07.
Kurt rolls out and heads to the back celebrating as Scotty looks on in shock. Then we cut to the APA office, where Bradshaw walks back in from the washroom as Crash snores away into commercial.
Back from break, Chyna comes out despite not being scheduled according to commentary and she takes the mic. She announces that there will no longer be a Triple Threat at the PPV, because the winner of the next match will face Eddie one on one for the title instead. She then proceeds to do the ring introductions, starting with the man who has the uncanny ability to hunt birds and squirrels at the same time, Perry Saturn, to his confusion, and his opponent, the Light, Light, Light, Light Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Personality, Mr. Charisma, stay awake for Dean Malenko. On top of this, the match now has a special guest referee as well, the European Champion, her love machine, he's got more Latino Heat than any WWF superstar, Eddie Guerrero.
Perry Saturn vs Dean Malenko (WWF Light Heavyweight Champion); Special Guest Referee: Eddie Guerrero (WWF European Champion) (w/ Chyna)
Winner faces Eddie for the European Title at Judgement Day.
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Chyna proceeds to do the ring introductions, starting with the man who has the uncanny ability to hunt birds and squirrels at the same time, Perry Saturn, to his confusion, and his opponent, the Light, Light, Light, Light Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Personality, Mr. Charisma, stay awake for Dean Malenko.
Back and forth to start with some chain wrestling, including several back and forth pin attempts and roll ups. Malenko offers a handshake but Saturn gets him with a cheap shot instead, then some rights hands, Dean sent off the ropes, tries to catch Saturn with a crucifix but he's caught instead, pressed up over his head but Dean slips free, exchange waist locks until Dean elbows free, comes off the ropes into a roll up for a kick out and a fast count from Eddie. Saturn face first in the corner, Dean with boots and stomps, Saturn reverses a whip off the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Dean hangs on and Saturn falls flat on his back. Dean tries for the Cloverleaf but Saturn gets to the ropes before he can roll him over and tosses Dean up through the ropes to the outside.
Dean climbs back on the apron but gets yanked back down by Saturn, sending him face first into it before getting tossed back in, Saturn with a clothesline, cover and a kick out. Right hands by Saturn in the corner, Eddie tries to pull them apart but gets shoved by Saturn, so he shoves Saturn from behind. Saturn goes after Eddie, so Dean picks up the European Title and clocks Saturn with it when he turns around. Dean drops the title and goes for the cover, but Eddie picks it back up, waits for Dean to get up and turn around and hits him with it now. Eddie calls for the bell, and this match ends in... currently unknown in 3:40.
Chyna takes the mic and says the match is declared a draw, and therefore, notwithstanding the physical condition of Malenko and Saturn, they'll both face Eddie for the title at the PPV. Eddie just laughs it up, so clearly this was all a ruse by Eddie and Chyna, outsmarting his opponents on Sunday into commercial.
The WWF Rewind this week is Shawn's announcement on Raw, then shoving Vince on his ass, before we get to our next match.
Christian (1/2 of WWF Tag Team Champions) vs Grandmaster Sexay
Christian with a cheap shot from behind as Sexay poses in the corner, knocking him to the outside to start this match. Sexay reverses a whip toward the steel steps but Christian stops himself, then launches Sexay up, sending him face first into the steps. Sexay ducks a clothesline and picks Christian up, sending him crotch first into the ring post before going back in the ring. Inverted atomic drop by Sexay, then a clothesline, cover and a near fall.
Now some quick back and forth until Sexay connects with a full nelson facebuster. Christian pulls himself up in the corner, Sexay charges for a splash but hits the top turnbuckle face first, which Christian follows up with an inverted DDT. Christian stomping away now, Sexay sent off the ropes into a powerslam, cover and a near fall. Sexay sent toward the corner, he leaps to the second rope, into a crossbody and a cover and another near fall. Trading arm wringers until Christian delivers a Russian leg sweep. Headlock take down, then some rights, choking Sexay in the corner followed by a back breaker, cover and a kick out.
Christian with a scoop slam, then lifts Sexay up top, but Sexay starts to fight back with rights before delivering a bulldog. Sexay blocks a clothesline and delivers more rights, Christian reverses a whip off the ropes, but Sexay gets him with a sitout powerbomb, cover and a two count. Sexay sent into the corner, but he gets a boot up. Sxay grabs his goggles before going up top, but Christian tosses him back down. Christian with the waist lock pushes Sexay off the ropes for a roll up, but Sexay reverses it for one of his own with a handful of tights to get the win in 4:41.
Sexay takes his leave much to Christian's dismay and we get a replay of the closing moment. Then we cut back to APA, Crash still sleeping like a baby and they have a visitor, the ho who won the Hardcore Title on Raw. She's here to get her title back and has a ref with her, but Bradshaw gets in her way, telling her to get her shaply ass and the ref's non-shapely ass out of there, so she storms off into commercial.
Back from break, Val Venis comes out despite the fact he wasn't supposed to be part of this next match. Val takes the mic and says the past two months he's been suppressed by the single, most repressive regime in the history of the WWF. He says week after week after every damn week, as he strolled through the arena doors, he heard the exact same excuse: "Val, as of right now we just don't have any plans for you." He says as of tonight, he's decided he'll make his own damn plans. He reminds us of what happened last year, when his waist was decorated in IC gold, so he issues a challenge for the next Raw, to whoever is the IC Champion after the PPV.
On cue, out comes Benoit with mic in hand and makes it clear there's no doubt in his mind that after the PPV, he will still be champion. He says it's good for him that he's held IC gold, that he feels like he's been passed over, but gives Val his title shot nonetheless, except he thinks they should have there and then instead.
Jericho doesn't let this go to much longer as his music hits and out he comes with mic in hand and says there's just one little problem, that while Benoit's on his way to retaining that title, he may run into a bit of a roadblock, a wall, because after he experiences the Walls of Jericho, he's not gonna have to worry about that title, because the Crippler is going to become the Crippled. He says after Sunday, after Y2Judgement Day, the only way he's going to properly walk is if he's cooking Chinese food. He says on Monday it's going to be the Big Lebowski vs The Big Bad Mamma Jamma, so looks like either way we have an IC Title match set for Raw.
Now Hardcore comes out with a mic and tells Jericho to shut his hole for a minute, then asks Val what gives him the right to come out and start making challenges, that if anyone has the right it's himself, that he should be the one facing the winner on Monday. Jericho calls him Bald-core and tells him to hold on a minute, and says that since Steph, who just happens to be a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding, trash bag ho, wants him to choose a partner, and since Val is so unhappy and more importantly there, he chooses Val as his partner, then immediately goes after Hardcore in the aisle as Val kicks Benoit to start the match.
Chris Jericho & Val Venis vs Chris Benoit (WWF Intercontinental Champion) & Hardcore Holly
Val sends Benoit off the ropes, slips through the legs, Val catches a kick and delivers an inverted atomic drop, off the ropes with a clothesline, cover and a near fall, meanwhile Jericho and Hardcore are still fighting at ringside. Benoit with chops now, but sent off the ropes into a powerslam, cover but Hardcore slides in to break it up, before Val knocks him back to the outside. Val grabs Benoit for a suplex but delivers one of his own before he can even try. Val face first in the corner for more chops, Val sent off the ropes and take each other out with simultaneous clotheslines.
Jericho gets the hot tag and delivers rights to Hardcore and Benoit, then a bulldog on Benoit. Chops, Benoit reverses a whip off the ropes, Jericho takes him out with an elbow and hits the Lionsault. Jericho makes the cover but Hardcore breaks it up. Val goes after Hardcore now with stomps, clotheslining them both over the ropes to the floor. Benoit boots Jericho in the ribs a couple times, but catches him on the third trips him up and gets Benoit in the Walls. Meanwhile Hardcore hits Val over the head with a chair at ringside, then slides in and hits Jericho with it for the DQ in 2:18.
Jericho slides out, then Hardcore and Benoit acknowledge each other, before Hardcore blindsides Benoit with a chair shot, then several shots to the knee, now boots to the knee and a shin breaker until referees run down to pull Holly off. His music hits as he looks on pleased as Benoit holds his knee crying out in pain. We get replays of Holly's attack as a stretcher is brought down with EMTs and we go to commercial.
Back from break, more replays of Holly's numerous chair shots to Jericho, Val and Benoit, then to Benoit being tended to by doctor's in the back and tries to shove them away, before we go to our next match.
Edge (1/2 of WWF Tag Team Champions) (w/ 1/2 of Tag Team Champions Christian & Kurt Angle) vs Rikishi (w/ Too Cool)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Christian's out this time decked out in Detroit Red Wings hockey gear, grabs the mic and says they so hate to disappoint their fans and they're not gonna let them down tonight. Edge takes the mic now and says for the benefit of flash photography, they're going to unveil a brand new pose, for 5 seconds only, called The NHL's Greatest Moments. Edge takes off his jacket to reveal... I think it's an Avalanche jersey, and Kurt hands him a hockey stick, which he uses to slapshot an imaginary puck through the legs of goalie Christian Rikishi makes his way out before much else can happen though with Too Coll by his side. This is the rubber match, with Sexay and Kurt having won their matches earlier in the night. We also learn that the Shane/Big Show match will be right after this one.
Edge rushes Kish, ducks a clothesline, Kish blocks a right hand and drops Edge with a couple of his own. Edge sent into the corner, Kish slams his ass into Edge to set up for the Stinkface already, but Christian hands him his goalie helmet saving Edge from Kish's ass. Kish turns around to see this and catches Edge in a Samoan drop. Kish puts on the helmet, then starts to drag Edge before Kurt and Christian rush the ring, then Too Cool, and the ref calls for the bell in 1:16. Kish would be announced as the winner by DQ after the brawl.
Kish and Too Cool clear the ring in no time as their music hits and EC&K head up the ramp, Kish removing the helmet and proceed to do their dancing. EC&K take advantage of this and rush the ring to ambush, Kish gets nailed with the title belt and Christian slams it down repeatedly into him, with the heels standing tall. Then they proceed to do mock Too Cool's dancing, but quickly escape when they come to and rush to the back.
Catching back up with APA with Crash still sleeping away, and Farooq's had enough of the snoring, as Bradshaw wins the hand with 2 pair and goes to commercial.
The Smack of the Night is Shane being thrown into the WWF.com sign on Raw, giving us several replays. Then Brisco arrives at the APA office with a child.... oh wait, I guess I'm not up on my 2000s pop culture, it's actually Joe C. Brisco makes the same mistake calling him "little guy" and apparently he knows APA and wanted to come say hi, and he tells Brisco to get his hand off him, telling him who he is before going over to APA and give him a beer. They decide to leave seeing as Crash's hour is up, and I think Joe calls Brisco an asshole or something, it gets bleeped out, and he looks over to Crash before going back to the arena.
The Big Show vs Shane McMahon
Well Shane comes out as promised with mic in hand, in regular clothing, and tells Show he's misplaced his gear, but assures him that at the PPV, Show will not have to ask which way Shane went, because he'll be there, gear and all to take Show out. He says it seems like every time Shane's around him with his cheetah-like speed, he seems to run circles around Show, and it doesn't make him look like The Big Show at all, rather The Big Slow, so tonight Shane wants to find out just how fast Show is, and announces that Show will run the gauntlet instead, and brings out his two opponents.
The Big Show runs the Gauntlet
T&A (w/ Trish Stratus)
Show takes them both out with a couple of headbutts, then a scoop slam on Albert. They double team with clubs to the back, Show sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline and delivers one of his own. Test is tossed to the outside, and Albert gets a chokeslam. Show tells Shane to bring more down, so Shane says since he has so much energy, the fun is not quite over, and brings out Show's next two opponents. Wait, Show didn't even pin Albert...
Bull Buchanan & The Big Boss Man
Test gets Show from behind with a chop block and we now have 4 on 1 with rights and lefts, Show sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline from Bull and Boss Man, takes T&A out with one, then Bull and Boss Man with another. Shane's back on the mic and says he's not quite done yet, and introduces his next two opponents.
X-Pac & Road Dogg
Bull attacks from behind with Show distracted and now it piles up 6 on 1, while Shane comes down to ringside. Show breaks free and gives out headbutts, rights and clotheslines. Show goes for a double chokeslam on Boss Man and X-Pac but Shane nails Show from behind with a chair, then Bull delivers the scissor kick. Shane sets the chair down while Roadie does Shake, Rattle and Roll, X-Pac delivers X-Factor onto the chair. They pick Show back up and Shane calls for a chokeslam, so he sets the chair up, stands on top, grabs Show by the throat, while T&A lift up Show to simulate a chokeslam. Shane makes the cover and wins in 3:47. Well that was nonsensical.
Shane gets lifted in victory as he celebrates, Show out cold as Shane talks more trash and it goes to commercial.
Back from break, we get a replay of the "chokeslam" by Shane and the celebration. Then we get this.
24/7 Rules Hardcore Championship Defense: Crash Holly (c) vs Gerald Brisco
Brisco is talking backstage with a referee, reiterating that they need to be really quiet since Crash is sleeping, then make their way into APA's office. Brisco walks over, kneels down, then first tries to gingerly place his hand on Crash's chest, but he scares him as he nearly stirs awake. Brisco puts his finger on Crash's chest, the referee makes a very quiet count, and Brisco wins the Hardcore Title.
As Brisco tries to leave quietly, the referee stumbles over one of the chairs set up at the table, which obvious wakes up Crash, so he gives chase with the referee by his side out to the arena.
24/7 Rules Hardcore Championship Defense: Gerald Brisco (c) vs Crash Holly
Brisco tries to leave the ring but Crash grabs him, only to be decked by a left hand, then another and another. Now Crash with rights and boots in the corner. Crash goes out and grabs a trash can and a broom, tossing them in the ring but Brisco tries to escape through the crowd. Brisco face first into the ring post before going back to the ring. Crash with the broom across the back, now Patterson rushes down. Brisco grabs the trash can and nails Crash in the back of the head. They set Crash up in the corner and Patterson gets ready for a Stinkface with clean underwear, but Crash gets up and delivers a low blow instead, then jabs the broken broom handle into his ass. Crash runs off to the back in pursuit of Brisco, so he retains his title for now.
We get a replay of what just happened with Patterson. Meanwhile, Kevin Kelly is standing by outside Rock's locker room, which is up next. Brisco runs by looking over his shoulder just before it cuts away.
Kevin is still waiting for Rock to come out, who recaps the events with Michaels before we get a recap video of his appearance on Raw. In that time, Rock has come out of his dressing room, and Kelly asks for Rock's thoughts now that DQs and countouts will count as falls on Sunday, asking if HHH has a plan. Rock says he does have a plan, the plan of a lifetime, bringing up Shawn, so he tells HHH he can go lick on some monkeys balls. Kelly asks if he's implying that Shawn is in league with HHH, but Rock says he isn't implying anything, telling him to shut his mouth and calls him a jabroni, but what he is saying is that last time he was in the ring with Shawn he cost him the title, so tells Shawn that whatever he thinks about doing, about planning, to remember that Rock never, ever forgets. Then he moves onto HHH, and says he's never forgotten the history they have, how for years they've done it all, every match imaginable, the Cage Matches, the Ladder Matches, the Lumberjack Matches, the Strap Matches, every single match except the Iron Man Match. He says that's why Sunday, for one hour, HHH is going to feel all the Rock's pain, anger, fury, every ounce of sweat, every drop of blood, and tells him to get ready, because he's walking into Judgement Day and walking out undisputed WWF Champion, the People's Champion, then caps it off with his catchphrase. His match is next.
We get a replay of Tori putting Bubba through a table on Raw, before we get to the main event.
Handicap Lumberjack Tables Match: The Rock (WWF Champion) vs The Dudley Boyz; Lumberjacks: Triple H, WWF Women's Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Tori, X-Pac, Road Dogg, Test, Albert, Trish Stratus, The Big Boss Man, Bull Buchanan, WWF Hardcore Champion Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson, Shane McMahon & Vince McMahon
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Roadie and X-Pac come out carrying a table, then T&A have one, as do Bull and Boss Man, setting them up, one around ringside and two in the ring. Dudleyz come out with their own table and set it up on at ringside. As Rock comes out, Dudleyz prop the tables up in opposite corners to clear space in the ring. Cole explains that Rock has to put both Dudleyz through a table to win this match. This is also not a tornado rules match for... reasons.
Bubba starts it out and starts with rights, Rock reverses a whip off the ropes and hits a back elbow. Bubba is sent off the ropes, tripped up by Test allowing Rock to nail him from behind and send him to the outside. Lumberjacks are immediately on the attack and send Bubba back in. Rights by Rock in the corner now, Bubba reverses a whip off the corner and delivers a sidewalk slam. D-Von tags in and delivers the diving headbutt from up top between the Rock's legs. D-Von now with rights, Rock sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, delivers rights and sends D-Von to the outside. Bubba runs in to try and attack but Rock sends him out to, and the lumberjacks immediately on the attack. X-Pac pulls Rock out though and now they attack before all three are tossed back in.
They all look at each other, then the lumberjacks and realize the common enemy, exiting the ring and going after the lumberjacks now. Bull accidentally nails Boss Man with a nightstick, then Rock nails Bull with it, then Boss Man. HHH on the attack now, but Rock fights back with rights, then one for Brisco, then HHH into the barricade. Dudleyz suplex Albert on the ramp before Rock chokes HHH with a cable by the announce table. X-Pac and Roadie come over to help while Bubba sets Test up on the table outside, D-Von goes up top and drives him through the table with a diving headbutt. Rock is being choked by Roadie until the Dudleyz come back and fight DX now, HHH face first off the announce table. Dudleyz set the tables back up while Rock low blows HHH. Bubba puts X-Pac on the table and goes to the middle rope, but Tori comes from behind with a low blow, allowing X-Pac to deliver an X-Factor from the middle rope through the table, then Roadie powerbombs D-Von through another table. HHH has the upperhand on Rock at ringside as the Stooges set up another table in the Rock while Rock is sent face first into the steps, then rolled into the ring.
Rock manages to fight back with rights on HHH and DX, then Boss Man, then sends Bull through a table with a spinebuster. HHH now from behindwith rights, goes to deliver Rock Bottom through a table but X-Pac clubs him from behind and delivers a spinning heel kick. HHH puts Rock through the table with a Rock Bottom now. Vince takes the mic from Chimmel and announces DX as the winner, but really Rock should have won seeing as the Dudleyz went through tables first in... Well this whole thing went on for about 6:45, but the match technically ended before this.
DX's music hits as HHH talks some trash, with Rock laid out. Vince dances at ringside as we get a replay of DX's Rock Bottom, plus Vince's reaction. The show closes with the regime posing at the top of the stage.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Well this was... a mixed bag. I liked the Too Cool vs EC&K matches, although the last one was kind of a waste of time. I liked Eddie outsmarting his challengers, and this main event, while kind of a clusterfuck was fun to watch. Of course though, we had that "Gauntlet" match, and while I enjoyed the Brisco/Crash shenanigans, it's hard to look past the fact that we have a horrible end game to this at the next month's PPV. There's also this injury angle with Benoit and Holly I don't quite understand, but regardless of the outcome at the PPV, we have an IC Title match set for next week's Raw, which is a plus. As a side note, there was not a single vignette for Undertaker's return this week, even though he's set to return at the PPV. That said, with a run time of 1:26:43, this show had a total 25:34 of wrestling.
Speaking of the PPV, it has an admittedly pretty damn good but short card, although it's only short because of the one hour main event.
MATCH CARD FOR WWF JUDGEMENT DAY 2000
- 60-Minute Iron Man Match for the WWF Championship: The Rock (c) vs Triple H
Shawn Michaels as Special Guest Referee.
- Tag Team Tables Match: The Dudley Boyz vs Road Dogg & X-Pac
- Submission Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Chris Benoit (c) vs Chris Jericho
- No Disqualification Match: Shane McMahon vs The Big Show
- Triple Threat Match for the European Championship: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Dean Malenko vs Perry Saturn
- Too Cool & Rikishi vs Edge, Christian (WWF Tag Team Champions) & Kurt Angle
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